Over 40 Skin Care-new goals

Hi sugar!

Let’s talk about skin care. I’ve been doing some changes, seen some progress and discovered some new goals.

There will be some affiliate links so watch for the *. I get some pennies if you click or buy.

First, the first bare faced photo of yours truly of the year.

[image description: the author. Brown skinned femme with no make up on. Smiling a little]


SO I mean, I hate to brag but y’all look at me. Had you told me even at 30 that I’d ever a.) post a no make up selfie OR be proud of my faceballs, I’d have laughed in your face.

If you’re new let’s talk about my skin struggles. I’ve had oily skin on my face forever. At one point, I had a dermatologist just say, oh wow. My skin is also very reactive, sensitive, easily irritated and acne prone. A whole ass hot mess. Add in that my face scars if I look at it crooked. I am also in perimenopause which means, my skin goes buck fucking wild for no reason.

First let’s talk about my current routine.

I don’t do most things on a schedule. Just like with my hair care I tend to feel out what my face wants and deliver. My current round up of products on rotation goes like this.

Oil Cleansers:

DERMA E Nourishing Rose Cleansing Oil*- I grabbed this on sale and it is okay. If you are scent sensitive don’t buy this, I thought it might’ve had rose oil in it but it just has a rose scent. Scent doesn’t but me. If you wear full foundation, this one probably won’t do you good. I tend to only use it if I’ve got on light make up (concealer) or if I’m not wearing any.

Nyx Stripped off Cleansing Balm– This is an all time fave I will go back to forever. If you love the Clinique take off the day balm, this is a great dupe. The cost is far lower. Head to head here’s how they stack up. Cost. Nyx winds hands down. Nyx loses a couple of points for being slightly scented, Clinique has no detectable smell. Both work great at removing full coverage foundation. They can easily remove the 17 pounds of mascara+liner I like. They are both great formulations.

boscia MakeUp-BreakUp Cool Cleansing Oil* This is my third product try from boscia and I feel a little, eh about it. boscia is one of those brands I really wanted to LOVE but it didn’t really move me like that. This cleansing oil is good, it has a tiny bit of scent not much. I fell for branding and really wanted to love it. It is just a meh for me. Once my bottle is empty I won’t repurchase.

Foamy/lathery/second Cleansers:

Tree Hut Skincare Purifying Cleansing Gel*. I love this cleanser. Some of the ingredients are not the greatest, we’ll talk about that but I love having it in my stash. It works the best for me pre-chemical exfoliation. My skin absolutely loves it. I get squeaky clean without the squeaky feeling.

Garnier SkinActive Face Wash with Aloe Juice*- I had a coupon and wanted to try out this line because I LOVE the sheet masks and Garnier is usually pretty good to me. This is a loose jelly texture, no smell I can detect, super gentle and my skin just loves it. This is pretty great for days when my skin feels grimy or generally a little irritated or peely.

Andalou Naturals Meyer Creamy Lemon Cleanser*- Andalou naturals is a newer to me brand and y’all. I love this brand the way I wanted to love boscia. I don’t know about the brightening but, I just love this cleanser. It does have a slight citrusy scent that isn’t overwhelming. It smells like it has citrus in it. My skin just loves this stuff. It is creamy and doesn’t foam, cleans nicely and leaves my face feeling soft af.

A few honorable mentions. Sometimes I still use my liquid african black soap on my face. It is SUPER drying and I usually only do it as a mini mask when my face is acting a damn fool. Also if I have any sort of irritation. I also almost always have a bucket of Noxema on deck.

Now, if it isn’t a mask night this is what I do at night before bed.

I’m looking for new toners, right now I use Shea Moisture problem skin toner. It is…okay.

After toning I go back to my ride or die Claire-ity 25% Vitamin C Serum* y’all. I’ve been using a C serum for about 4 years. I’ve tried drugstore, high end. I’ve tried liquidy serums, cream c, powder. This brand is my ride or die. Great price point at 15$, it is super gentle and I have absolutely seen a difference in the hydration and smoothness of my skin when I’ve gone a few months not using it.

Next I use a retinol cream. Retinol is another thing I’ve used for the past few years in one manner or another. My fave now discontinued one came from the ordinary. I’ve been searching since. I’ve gone through a few kinds of retinol and this one from Nuva Skin has been great for me. The jar is air tight so no contamination, it is a very rich cream. This is a 2.5% retinol product that also has hylaruanic acid, aloe and other skin loving stuff. For me, cruising at 2.5% has been great for my skin.

Then I lay on some moisturizer. NOW y’alls. I fucked up. I was fbing late one night and came across some super organic fancy ass skin care that is normally out of my price range. I had a few bucks in my paypal and saw that they have sampler kits that with the code, NONTOXIC comes to about 4$ shipped in the US. I grabbed one and okay. The cleanser is nice but not amazing. The rosewater is yanno rosewater. The deep hydration moisturizer tho. Y’all. This is the first moisturizer I’ve used in a while that just, my skin eats it up and LOVES. It is also out of my price range rn for one product. When I can afford it, I will be buying a full size jar.

My last nightly step is I slather my face in Rosehip oil that I got at CVS or Walgreens or something.

I’ve been using some masks but I think I’ll save those. Basically I do a deep clean one on Saturday then a chemical exfoliant midweek ish.

My goals last year were mainly to get my skin cleared up, fewer breakouts. I accomplished that. Also, the texture of my skin has VASTLY improved. I’ve got a glow now. My skin feels plump and silky.

This year my goals are as follows:

  1. Help myself avoid further hyperpigmentation and continue treating what I have slow and gentle like.
  2. MORE hydration.

Basically that’s all I want to do. I feel like my skin glow up is going pretty well. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get back into higher end skincare later this year and we’ll have a post about questionable ingredients, money and whatnot.

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OH…I didn’t see you there.

Well actually I did and I am a lying ass liar.

Full disclosure, I kind of lost my want to blog because I didn’t think I had anything to say.

I do but it was a thing.

And then the domain registration for this little area came up and I was going to let it go and changed my mind.

SO hi.

I’m your host Shannon. I am a chunky, Black, genderqueer old ass Goth. I like beauty, shiny things, clothes, make up and booties.

I’ll be resuming blogging here after I do a bit of a make over. I’ve got plans for shoppable faves pages. Pinterest stuff and whatnot.

SO if you wanna come along, please come back and visit.

In the meantime, below find a photo of your naked faced host.

[image description: the author, a Black femme wearing glasses, with gray faux locs from the waist up. They are wearing a galaxy print hoodie]
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Optimism among chaos.

Hello darlings.

As the partner and I are settling into our new home I’m starting to have some optimism about an increase in our quality of lived life and by extension I’ve been thinking about things I want to do for my health, my skin care, everything.

I really am looking forward to purging more stuff so I can start over. I’ve replaced some of my skin care and make up. It feels strange to actually have a do over in reach. After probably another grand in bills and moving costs I’ll be able to really get started.

A few days ago I realized that this feeling, this desire to make home is very overwhelming to me. At 41 years old, I have never felt like I had the right to make myself a real home. I’m anxious about it, I’m terrified honestly. I have to ask my partner a million questions. I ask him about how much things cost. If it is reasonable for me to want something for our home. If it is okay.

I’m looking at things for my home that I like. That will make it feel cozy and like I belong here.

Y’all.

When that is not something you grew up feeling, or have been poor enough to either be houseless or have housing insecurity, it is scary.

For instance.

There is a local to me indigenous blanket maker(s). I was looking at their website the other day and saw this blanket. I can picture it on the wall in my entry hallway, right across from the door. The fact that I can see it in my mind is astonishing to me. I am thinking about having art. Having pretty things that mean something to me.

This feeling extends to my bathroom. I’ve been thinking about moving most of my make up stuff to palettes because of how I want storage to be. I’m thinking about the galaxy shower curtain I found and having a beautiful galaxy, pink, purple and black bathroom.

I’m hopeful and scared.

I find home set up terribly intimidating and I swing from wanting many shiny household items to being terrified and not wanting any. What kind of towels do I buy? Should I get the nicer rice cooker? What about kitchen shit? I don’t know.

A new set of anxieties is settling in. Things that cost money that I have to replace. I’m going to need to replace my phone sooner than I wanted to. I still haven’t gotten a new ID. The cost of stocking up on our health shit, cost cost cost.

I’m overwhelmed and exhausted and afraid but, I have this hope that things will level out.

What else?

I’ve gotten my skin care somewhat put back in order. My skin is recovering from the stress and frankly I wasn’t taking great care of it. Currently I’m about that glow up. I’ve switched from foundation to something else, review coming in a few weeks and my skin care routine has settled back into my bedtime process.

I’m still feeling pretty unsettled and low key freaked out. I have extra bills and our budget is looking a better. Living inside those two things is weird and hard.

In other news, if you are in Seattle/area I’ll be reading at Margin Shift later this month. Come through.

And if you are so inclined you can check out my latest freelance piece here. If you want to keep up with writing stuff, check my writing biz blog over here.

Posted in home life, Personal, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Oh the Chaos.

Oh my darlings.

The move aftermath keeps on going. My life/home are still fairly chaotic and y’all, I ain’t with it.

Given that I’m already a very anxious constantly freaked out person, trying to get my house in some order has just wrecked me. I’m nervous and upset, we are eating a lot of garbage food and trying to figure out life has been hard.

That said- I have figured out some stuff.

I have rediscovered the joy of some small luxuries. There is a little bodega downstairs in my building and I bought a big bag of ice. Seems like nothing but, our previous house the freezer was weird and small so I rarely had ice at home. I made myself a couple of jugs of fridge tea and having that on hand is pretty ding dang great.

I’ve also tried out being intentionally cozy and making myself rest. I don’t recall if I mentioned it but a few weeks ago during the most intense part of the move, I rolled my ankle pretty badly. My foot and ankle swelled up, it hurt a lot and since y’all know life gotta go on sometimes I did not stay off of it.

Once we got all moved in, I got myself into bed, I had my current crochet project, a giant mug of tea and I just got cozy. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but, I have a habit of GO GO GO until I fall out or until my spoons are WAY into the negative, doing this intentionally was nice. A lot of the time, I resent rest. I always feel like I have SO MUCH to do.

I have freelancing to work on. Patreon to work on. I have my hustle to work because the move ate all our money and I’m stressed as fuck.

Now I know good and goddamn well (SHIT I WROTE A WHOLE ASS BOOK ABOUT SELF-CARE) and yet, there I was burning the candle at both ends and not allowing myself to heal at all. I wasn’t giving myself a chance in hell of really being able to settle into our new life and I started getting sick and everything went downhill.

So, I committed coziness. And it was okay. If I’m gonna keep things 100, I’m not good at it. I NEED to fix and put away and try to get things in order. However if my body was a person it would be trying to fight me and screaming CAN U FUCKIN NOT.

Like BRO COME ON FUCKING STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHP.

Ahem.

That has been a struggle.

So this adjustment is a lot more than I anticipated. I also figured out that I built up the life change with this move and I guess I was expecting it to be easier? Or that I’d be able to superperson it out a lot more and I’ve fallen into some old harmful patterns of expecting myself to manifest super powers and do ALL THE THINGS.

I really expected a lot more of myself than I am capable of and having to face in my inability has been crushing. Again I find myself having rejected the idea that my able bodiedness is just not a thing anymore and expecting able bodiedness from myself in a way I would NEVER from anyone else.

Dealing with my terrible internalized ableism has just been the hardest part of all this. I hate that sometimes I treat myself so poorly and justify it because, shit has GOT to be done. I have set myself back in terms of the work I’ve done on this and I’m trying to deal with it without being a fucker to myself.

It is hard.

That said, I’m ready for an improvement in the quality of our lived life. I’m ready to be able to socialize without things being so hard and I’m ready to learn to be cozy.

At the suggestion of loved ones, if you are so inclined find our ever growing housewarming wishlist on Amazon here. 

Next post will be some updated skin care, some hair wins and whatnots.

Posted in home life, mental health | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Struggle Bus Natural- Big ole Update

Let’s talk about my hair.

So this is gonna be a lowkey hair growth update and some observations because I blew out my hair and have been wearing it out.

I’ve been natural for I dunno how long. I had a few times where I went back to relax my hair a bit.

Last weekend I gave myself a blow out because I got bored with my wig and am in the home stretch of my move and didn’t want to really be messing with my hair.

For a while I’ve been kind of struggling thinking my hair was thin. Now that I’ve figured out more how to care for my hair I dunno. I think that too many years of following other naturals who don’t have the same texture as me or my head of hair was rearing up.

I don’t have the big magnificent hair that we see as the marker of Black beauty. I just don’t. It is big. It is not orderly and my fro does this when I don’t mess with it:

That is how my hair looks completely nude. No product. Freshly washed and just let to do what she wanna do. I have a deep natural part in my hair that literally goes from my forehead to almost the crown of my head. I have always had it. The texture of my hair along the part is looser and grows almost kinky straight.

I also thought my edges were thinning. I do have one slightly baldy spot in my edges on the left that happens when I am too stressed out. It just does. This move has maxed my stressed levels so my lil freakout spot is filling back in but was clean bald for a minute. Also the softest bit of skin ever on my whole body for a bit.

I looked at some older photos that I can’t find now and y’all, that’s just how my edges are.

My fellow struggle bus naturals. Hey, you. Come here. If your hair isn’t the fluffiest most plum n juicy curls it is okay. Your hair is great. My hair is great OKAY.

Okay.

SO I gave myself a BOMB blowout. I prepood with coconut oil. A word about coconut oil. I know it has fallen out of fashion. Personally my hair is not on the straight protein bandwagon and doing an overnight coconut oil prepoo once or twice a month makes a huge difference for me. If I use coconut oil a bit sparingly, it works way better. Pro tip.

Then I double cleansed. I used the Shea Moisture (yeah I know we’ll get to it) Raw Shea butter shampoo. (YES amazon affiliatelinks cause Auntie needs coins). So a while back Shea Moisture decided to cash out and go “multi culteral” and in their ads, really ignored the Black women mainly who shot that brand into the stratosphere. They did apologize but I am still not really into them. I also know that some of their products have changed a lot so they are more friendly to White folks and that just makes me angry. I had some of the JBCO lines and compared bottles on the same products and it was very disappointing. THey also called some Black bloggers liars for pointing it out. So I don’t really fucks with them that much.

I had it around and used it.

I followed up with a sulfate shampoo. Garnier Fructis Brazilian Smooth Fortifying Shampoo. Y’all, I have so many Garnier products they are really going in. I LOVE their stuff and it is so inexpensive and easy to find. When I know I’m going to use heat I always use a shampoo that is either anti breakage or fortifying or smoothing. Straightening wash day is about keeping my hair strong and moist.

I followed up with my black tea rinse. I use a jug basically and hot tap water. I drop 4-6 bags of plain black tea in there the night before (I like it strong, if you don’t drink tea or coffee do it an hour before you wash) and then before I wash I dig out the tea bags and drop in a few drops of lavender essential oil or peppermint. Over the years I’ve tried many anti breakage and anti shedding remedies and always come back to black tea. You can also do it in a spray bottle as part of your leave in or do it like I do. After rinsing out all my shampoo I saturate my hair with the tea and massage it into my scalp. Then I added my deep conditioner on top.

I always mix my deep conditioners. I have yet to find one single formula that does it all. This particular mix I wanted some strength and a lot of moisture and less oil than I use when I am not heat styling. I had some trial packets of the Garnier Whole Blends Repairing Mask Honey Treasures so I used some of those. A few sploots of Pantene Pro-V Anti-Breakage Conditioner that I picked up at Grocery outlet a while back. Interestingly, the black folks line from Pantene irritates the shit out of my scalp. I filled it out with some random other moisturizing conditioners. And of course I added a few drops of peppermint essential oil and just the smallest dollop of castor oil. I sat under my bonnet dryer for fifteen minutes, had a hot flash and went and took a nap.

I have a handheld dryer with this giant weird comb/brush/roller attachment thing. It is really old and they don’t make it anymore. But basically it has a finer tooth comb bit, then the air comes out of the larger tooth bit and on the back are these little velvety roller things. Once I figured out how to use that with the tension method voila. For heat protection I used Garnier Fructis Style Smooth Blow Dry Anti-Frizz Cream. Y’all that shit is so good.

This was my result, no other product. Just before I cut about 2 inches off.

hairs

[image description: The author, brown skinned person with kinky blown out hair. Wearing glasses and a lip ring]

Y’all look at my hair.

Is it the thickest? No. But it is so beautiful and I’m so happy with my progress. My roots weren’t super straight which is fine. Yes, all my hair photos I’m bare ass because I don’t wear clothes when I do my hair.

My next project post move will be to make more of my hair growth/scalp stimulation/healing oil. And this summer I might start whipping my own shea butter. AND this summer, I’m tackling some styles so stay tuned for that.

That’s all babes.

Posted in afro goth, beauty, black hair, natural black hair, struggle bus naturals | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Revisiting Contextual Fatness.

Oh y’alls.

I’ve seen at least five folks who don’t know each other talking about it, so let’s talk about it.

We’re gonna talk about fatness, gatekeeping of fatness, why fatness is not a single thing or experience and why it is important to learn how to deal with varying fatness because y’all ain’t nobody got time for bullshit.

First let’s define some terms.

Who is fat?

Lots of people are. Some folks are really really fat. As (Lesley?) some folks say, Death Fat. As in, folks will look at them and say things like OMG UR GONNA DIE and supposedly they will/are likely to drop dead that moment because FAAAAAAAAAAAT.

Some folks like me are not really fat except according to the BMI chart which, is horseshit.

Why can I say I am fat AND someone who is Deathfat say fat?

Fatness as a state of physical being isn’t like saying, I breathe oxygen. Fatness isn’t a given nor are the boundaries of fat and not fat fixed.

How does that work?

Fatness is more than just BMI, weight, size etc. Fatness is also cultural. As in, maybe inside the microcosm of one culture, fat might not be the same as it is in another. This doesn’t negate said fatness, it is just a different fatness.

There will always be certain aspects to life as a fat person that can be fairly ubiquitous and various levels of terrible.

  • Health care
  • Unsolicited diet advice
  • Fat shaming

Now. The degree to which these things are damaging or how they impact each of us will vary and that is okay.

Let me tell you a secret.

Experiences of marginalization will never ever be monolithic. Playing who has it worse or saying that because someone is X size they can’t speak on an experience they have is bullshit. Don’t.

Differing experiences in the context of experiences, of day to day life etc are fine. They are natural. Maybe the MOST natural thing to happen AND if my experience as a fat person isn’t yours, that doesn’t diminish either of us.

That said, here is another thing. If you are fatter than another person, you also don’t get to necessarily gatekeep fatness. Your experience especially if you are death fat or super fat is different and that is valid and true. What is not valid and true is the idea that because someone doesn’t experience fatness the way you do means they aren’t really fat.

Let’s not do that.

One of the reasons a lot of people are doing body politics in a shit way is the need to grab at the top fat ass spot. Be the MOST oppressed. Folks mistakenly believe that their personal narrative about living in a fat body, is the narrative. That doesn’t work. We can’t talk about bodies, we can’t talk about what happens when we’re fat and do X thing or need resources etc if we’re wasting time doing this.

So what do we do?

I believe that we don’t have to go through these things and it needs work. One of the things to work on,  is when you feel like someone is stealing or infringing on your experience, take a step back. You regardless of how you feel don’t get to be the One True Fat Ass.

That’s just what it is.

Listen, fatter folks. I know a lot of y’all feel very protective of your activism, your space and your bodies. I was dragged to fuck during the inbetweenie saga of Fatshionista. Spaces for folks who are smaller fats and larger fats are in fact important. BUT not all fat spaces must be only for certain fat folks. Doing things that way sucks and eventually doesn’t help any of us.

 

Your experience, you glorious fat babe is HIGHLY valuable. Your voices are HIGHLY important.

We need you/us. We don’t need you/us to reinforce policing of bodies and the idea that fatness is only one thing.

We would all do well to remember some other stuff about fatness.

Some of us are in fact fatter in real life. Photos don’t tell a whole story. Nor do pant or bra sizes.

When we reinforce the Good/Bad fatty dichotomy, it hurts ALL of us. Why do I say that? Fatness is amoral.As in, it is neither good nor bad it just is. Fatness exists in our bodies, as a cultural experience, as identity and as a unifying thing.

Fatness is very involved and multi faceted. It involves everything from just the size of the ass to how we are treated in the world. If we want to do fat activism, body politics or ANYTHING to do with fatness we must, not get mired in fatty respectability politics and deciding for other folks that if they say they are fat, that we have got to say hey, your fatness is different from my fatness and that’s great.

My different fatness is great.

Your fatness, great.

Sometimes our fatnesses will have stuff in common, sometimes not.

THAT IS ALSO GREAT FRIENDOS.

Let’s embrace fatness and how we live, talk and deal with it as the multi faceted thing it is. That means sometimes we gotta let folks work through their problematic fat stuff. Maybe someone doesn’t seem fat to you. Don’t poopoo them.

Before trying or actually policing other folks fatness and their perceptions of it please think and use some deeper than defensiveness discretion.

If you are a smaller fat person, new to saying fat, new to being fat, if you think you’re fat listen.

I’m talking to you too.

If you believe yourself to be fat I won’t question. However, I will ask that you, like me acknowledge and don’t use your size privilege like a bat. Be aware of and respectful of how your privilege can shield you from a lot of fat experiences.

 

Smaller fat folks, me included-

I know when other fat folks want to exclude us it hurts. Some spaces are going to need to be for them so they can talk safely about the intimacies of being X size. That is fine it is okay. Not all spaces are for all people. That’s okay too.

If you are just getting into fatness, some of this will have hurt your feelings.

 

 

 

 

Posted in be that shit, body politics, fat acceptance, health | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

How not to Break Beauty.

Over at bookface, I ran across a post from the make up company Wet N Wild. Ahem. Note the brown skinned folks in some of the posts/photos.

Love the idea of a lot of what they do. No cruelty, vegan yadda yadda. BUT, most of their face products don’t come in shades appropriate for folks darker than beige. I think one of the foundations comes in a few shades of brown but, come on.

Their new mega cushion foundation literally comes in fiftyshades of beige.

Not long ago plus size retailer Universal Standard did a giveaway of free tees. From their website about us page:

We’re here to break the plus-size fashion industry.
We will accomplish this by making beautiful, quality, modern, elevated essentials for women size 10-28.
We will tear down existing barriers by doing this at democratic prices, and by turning away from fast fashion and all of its waste, inhumanity, and disastrous impact on the environment.
We will use Universal Fit Liberty to shut down the size-bully living in the head of every woman who doesn’t see her true self in the mirror by giving her the leeway to change her body without penalty to her style, or her wallet.
We will create clothes that will erase the style barrier between her and her smaller-size peers.
We will welcome her to our showroom and give her the peace and luxury of a one-on-one session with a stylist.
We will create stunning imagery and thoughtful editorial content because we want her to know she has the right to expect it.
We will say to her, ‘now you can,’ and make it so, in every way a brand can.
And when her interaction with US is over, she will say:
Finally!

The teeshirt I got for free is normally fifty dollars. For a tee shirt. A TEE SHIRT.

What do these things have in common?

This is what happens when capitalism wants to play at activism. Lane Bryant does it, lots of cosmetics companies etc do it. THey want you to feel good about shopping with them on the tickly idea that you’re being part of a movement.

However, if we examine these things closely we find the problem.

It is very rare that the about us, or hashtags actually match up with the brand. Wet N Wild for instance, their hash tags imply accessibility but if we look at what they offer, if you’re not in the fifty shades of Becky range, the choice is deeply limited. They cash in on the cachet of having WOC models/photos but don’t put in the effort to make their product accessible to those people.

Universal Standard is doing something that is almost the same. Just like every other plus size brand, their mission statement implies that you the fat customer are getting some special amazing experience. What is funny is that a lot of fat people are absolutely excluded from jump. If you aren’t of a particular economic class, I doubt you can look at your bank account and say, hell YES get me that fifty dollar tee shirt.

If you are over a size 28 well, too bad so sad.

This is a problem and has been for a long time. Capitalism likes to play dress up in order to make us feel good about having to participate in it. A lot of people want to believe that by buying a shirt from a store that uses progressive sounding hashtags they are really doing something radical.

They aren’t.

This is what the commodification of the lowest level activism looks like. This is what it looks like to use your economic privilege to try and seem more radical.

The fact is, a lot of people, especially those involved with not sparkly or pretty activism are not the demographic here. A lot of the Fat Activists I’ve known for at least 10-15 years, couldn’t afford to vote with their wallets that way. And in terms of clothes accessible to fat folks this is what happens.

Brand X offers body posi sounding line of clothing that is overpriced tee shirts and ugly stretch knits. Folks don’t buy it because it is expensive and ugly. Brand X says, OH WELL WE TRIED U UNGRATEFUL FAT HOES. Brand X goes back to their usual bullshit and get to say, well the market isn’t there.

Make up companies do it with dark skinned folks ALL the time. High end brands want to say that Black women especially don’t buy their products. They make two shades of brown, lots of BW don’t buy it because there are way more shades of us than that, brand says SEE WE TRIED.

These things have gone on for years. They come in and out of fashion and frankly this is why I am very reluctant to vote with my wallet. For me while I do love the idea of voting with my wallet, a lot of the time I’m just not in a position to or frankly I see through too much of the initial shiny RAH RAH LOOK HOW GOOD WE ARE.

I have a lot of friends who are very determined to shop ethically and I think that’s great. It is wonderful. What’s not awesome is the idea that all of us can do that to the same degree. For instance. Probably ten years ago, I remember a big long thing in the fatshion community about not allowing folks who shopped at Walmart to post outfit photos because it encouraged shopping at Walmart.

We all know Walmart fucking sucks.

Some of us know that and shop there out of necessity. Let’s look at a common necessity. Panties.

Now I personally am fond of the Fruit of the Loom Beyond soft briefs. If I were someone who wears a size 30-32 (according to their size chart)

13 56 – 59.5 30W – 32W

We can assume some stretch in the 56-59.5 hip measurement. Now at Walmart you can get a pack of these for $12.44. Now if we shopped with ALL BODIES type thing in mind we might look at Lane Bryant. A similar style of panty is available but only up to size 26. For 10.50$

26/28 14-15 46-48 51-52

Now in this example the person who buys the Walmart draws in a size 13 is not only saving money but they have access to panties their size.

I don’t believe that the person who chooses the Walmart drawers is ethically bankrupt or doesn’t care about how shitty Walmart is. Sometimes, you just really need some damn drawers.

And that is where a lot of arguments about ethical shopping or voting with your wallet fall apart for me. Often there is just a lack of nuance in terms of how these things work in real life for a lot of us.

Marginalization can have a major impact on how we buy, what we buy etc. I think that conversations and actions trying to deal with trying to do our best under capitalism are so important, we need to learn to be more inclusive and listen when our friends say yo this isn’t gonna work for me.

For instance.

If you’re not a fat person and you insist that folks don’t shop a certain brand that goes beyond say a size 24, think about what that says to your size 26 or 40 friends. If you’re someone who is into make up, if you do reviews of say a line of foundations, say hey this does not come in colors made for brown people.

If you work in the has influence area of fashion or make up, bring this shit up. Ask those questions.

Ask if we are breaking beauty, where are our products to support that idea? Why don’t we have products for this person we’re saying is awesome?

I’d like to see our conversations about ethical consumption become less if you don’t do these things you suck type conversations and dig more into accessibility and how reasonable it is to expect folks to all have the same ability to impact these things.

I think when we make these conversations less about doing the most to be right and more about how to live and function and feel like we’re able to make the best decisions we can in our unique circumstances, we’ll be more effective in figuring out how to enact change.

That’s all for now.

PS

We are still not moved. Life is a mess so posting will remain very sporadic.

Posted in be that shit, body politics, fatshion, Personal, shopping | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment