Struggle Bus Naturals-Twist Wig Review

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Hello beautiful people.

Today I’ve got a wig review.

I’m calling it a struggle bus review because this style is SO great, but I can’t braid y’all. I gave myself not great twists one time and regretted it immediately.

Twisted lace front wigs are really great for folks who:

  • Can’t braid
  • Have sensitive edges
  • Are prone to migraines
  • Don’t want to commit the time.

The particular wig I have, I’ve had since last summer and now that it’s a bit beat up looks really great. All of these links are affiliate links. If you don’t like the ones I show, google similar names and you’ll probably find one suited to your needs.

First a photo (not full length, my twist wig is very long, brushes my booty and I’m about 5’3″):

twists

Photo of a brown skinned person with glossy iips, wearing a long twisted hair style.

Okay, first the cons:

Most of the twist style wigs I’ve looked at need some DIY love before wearing. Mine came with all of the twists sewn down and I had to very carefully cut a lot of little stitches.

You’re going to want to be super careful cutting the lace. You don’t want to loosen any of the twists up front.

When I first got it, I also spent some time loosening the twists up just a little. I wanted them to be a bit puffier. I’ve noticed in the last year or so, that some manipulation has made the twists a bit fluffier.

If you like a super customized hairline, this style is not for you.

One other little thing, it’s hard to find these in super amazing colors. But stick around to the end for a solution to that.

Pros.

Super easy to maintain. You can have unicorn long hair, and not spend all your time detangling or whatever. Very slip on and go.

You can do some updo, but I tend to not.

It is SUPER lightweight. Like shocking light. I don’t get any headaches wearing this style of wig.

Not nearly as expensive as going to get twists done every however many weeks.

Easier maintenance of your hair underneath your protective style.

If you want to tighten the twists after a long while of wear, go along and snip any fly aways then lightly steam the wig and twist.

Now let me mention a few other things.

Since I wear mostly inexpensive wigs that have kinda rough lace and I have sensitive edges let me show you my favorite wig accessory.

Milano Collection WiGrip Extra Hold Wig Comfort Band. Y’all. Y’ALL. Y’all know I hate paying retail but I have three of these and they are worth every penny. I have struggled with my edges and unfortunately last year I had a bout of pretty bad anxiety and wound up with a bald spot. If you’ve worn wigs a lot you know the combs/clips can be murder on your edges. This lil thing helps. Basically you put on  your wig cap over this and that. You can tuck the combs right between the cap and the band.  Also it can help mitigate any friction or irritation with the synthetic lace.

Also, if you find wigs a bit too big, this can help with fit.

Now how about some wigs?

The closest to (I may have the version from last season) what I have is this one.  My piece is also heat safe and a few times I wore the ends curled.

If you prefer braids this style is super pretty. Although I would not wear it behind my hairline like it is on the model.

Now let’s talk about what if you want fancy colors?

OKAY, so I know this is probably old news, but I discovered that there are pre-braided crochet braid wig caps. Look here.

Y’all, being that I can’t braid I never thought about crochet braids until I saw those. This means that I, non braiding ass me can do some crochet braid WIGS Y’ALL.

I mean you can buy pre-twisted/loc’d hair. Look. Seriously. We know you can buy synthetic hair in amazing colors so basically, this is freedom for a lot of us non braiding ass people.

So my lovelies. My fellow struggle bus naturals, we catching up.

Oh yes, yes y’all, we ALL up in it.

I encourage y’all do to some youtubeing. There are TONS of tutorials for making crochet braid wigs, on doing them in general. Etc.

That’s all darlings.

Next time, I’ll do a slow roll LOC tutorial and talk about why I am so about the protective styling.

I love y’all.

Some More Brown Femme Goodness

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I’m still kind of depressed about poor folks stuff so how about I do some quickie links/short reviews of beauty stuff?

Yes.

OH wait before I start, no your eyes are not deceiving you. I did a little redesigning today. If you click in, I’ve moved some of my affiliate stuff down to the left, and up top you can see some of my linked pages. Let me know about the color, the stark white actually makes my head hurt, but if it’s hard for y’all to read holler at me.

OKAY NOW.

Brown Femme goodness.

Okay, can we start with how ass over tea kettle I am with Nyx Cosmetics right now? Recently a CVS opened in my neighborhood and they carry ALL the fuckin Nyx. Like….y’all the first time I went I totally freaked out.

So the major thing I love about Nyx beyond affordability is that they make enough of a range of things lip colors, that you can really stock up (especially those kick ass CVS sales) and experiment without being out like 18$ to find out you hate something.

Let me show you what Nyx lippies I’m loving right now.

First off, I LOVE their Butter Glosses.Since I’m suddenly SUPER into nudes, this shade called Ginger Snap is my current fave shiny nude. Honestly, it is almost the exact color of my face when I put it on my lips.

I’m also a HUGE fan of the Nyx Lingerie lips. As far as liquid lipsticks go this is the most comfortable one I own.

I also love their lipsticks, all of them.

And let’s talk about some tips.

In terms of make up, if you’re not ready for extra eye looks yet, lipsticks are a fantastic way to feel a bit more edgy and let’s talk about some ways to find stuff that is adventurous and won’t cost an arm and a leg.

The Nyx Cosmic Metal Lipcreams look AMAZING to me. I haven’t tried them yet but I’m desperate to. And also if you can’t wear a metallic blue lip at work, pack it in your bag and put it on when you go.

I’m also really impressed by the Maybelline Color Sensation lipsticks. I have two and the Grey about it one is a GREAT griege nude for brown folks. You’re not gonna get like, high end payoff, but they are super great for folks just getting into wilder lips.

Next up, JCat Wonder Lip Paints. I was immediately obsessed with the OCC Lip Tars when they first came out. Those are expensive AF. These are not and honestly, pro tip. If you can find some containers you can split them with your Femme friends and not really run out. It’s a huge amount of product for very little money. Also the Jcat Soft Matte lip stuff is really pretty. Messy to apply at first, but so gorgeous.

What other stuff?

OH okay if you’re like me and don’t really do all the highlight and contour let me tell you a secret. One of my secret make up weapons is a couple of good bronzers.

A couple of bronzes can do wonders for your makeup wardrobe. A little on the cheeks, nose, forehead and you’ve got a little bit of a glow. Use it for nude eyeshadow looks.

For oily skinned folks, I do not recommend using, the type of bronzer with a lot of sparkle. When your face starts to grease up, it can make it look weird. Ask me how I know (tragic day of looking like a greasy disco ball and not ina fun way)

I have two of these Rimmel London Natural bronzers. They are old and are very pretty. Sun Bronze warms up very nicely on my skin and gives me that slightly accented glow type look. It is really subtle on me and buildable.

I also REALLY love the Nyx matte bronzers. I have the second to darkest one and I need a new one soon. It is perfect for me when I’m not doing my whole super matte creepy fake looking dolly skin look.

To apply I use a very big very fluffy brush. I like my bronzers to be pretty diffuse and not very concentrated. I can’t find a link, but it’s like an overgrown Kabuki brush. Stout handle and big very fluffy brush head. I think I got them in the clearance bin at Big Lots.

Lately, I’ve had a hankering to recreate some 90s looks I wore when I was a teenager/young adult. There is glitter involved and I’m kinda hype for it.

The weather here has been pretty hot so I’ve mainly been wearing a lot of dual colored cat eyes and hot lippies. My face is greasy as all get out but I’m trying to roll with it until the weather gets cooler.

I’ve also gone back to the L’Oreal Pro matte. My color is Soft Sable. It’s just the teensiest bit too light, but the only other brown shade is way too dark. That makes me super angry, but it is the only drugstore foundation I’ve been able to wear for the past year or so.

I’ve tried  a few others, but as lots of beauty bloggers have said before me, a lot of drug store foundation is really pink. I am not. Even though my cash situation is not great, I still daydream about the Nars Sheer Glow Foundation. I KNOW some of y’all are like bitch what? But, with powder and a good primer y’all, I had a big sample of it and it is just so gorgeous. It made me feel like a baby doll.

For a while I was a devout user of MUFE Matte Velvet. UNTIL I went to an event and had a flash photo taken and OMG…the ASH IT WAS REAL. I was mortified, though to be fair not a soul noticed even when I showed them. But yeah. It broke my heart. I’ve been eyeballing the UD All Nighter foundation, but their shade range… I am not sure I will have a good match. I might go grab a sample.

Right now I think I’m mostly daydreaming about having a perfect dolly face. Which means I’ll have to buy color corrector AND new concealer. But y’all know how it is.

Coming up soon I’ll review the pastel lavender wig I was wearing, we’ll have some struggle bus natural talk AND I’ll show y’all some of the stuff I use/wear that I will pay the extra coins for.

I love y’all.

Real Talk on my Mind.

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It is coming to that time of year when I need to restock a bunch of stuff, such as but not limited to:

  • Drawers for the household
  • Socks for the household
  • 1/2 pairs of pants. Not leggings but other pants.
  • Night time moisturizer.
  • Skin serum (I like vit c/hyaluranic acid ones, we’ll talk about that later)
  • Mascara
  • Pillows for self and partner
  • Underpants for partner
  • Tights
  • Various website costs

Stuff I need but not for survival:

  • New mid weight coat, preferably hooded, rain resistent and not wool. Longer than booty length.
  • Basic wardrobe shit, tees, cardigans, tanks.
  • Few more multi season dresses.
  • Three bras, two regular one sports so I can get my fitness on without pulling a titty.
  • More leggings, printed ones.
  • ONe or two pairs of platform shoes.

Stuff that I’m just going to HAVE to get probably sooner than later:

  • New higher end phone. I have a low end smart phone that isn’t very old but is on the verge of death.
  • A tablet for writing on the go.
  • Some stuff with my teeth is gonna be about 1K in total.
  • etc

Currently between my Amazon affiliate, Patreon and  bit of other stuff I’ve got our regular stuff pretty well covered, including Uniballer’s medication, but I haven’t been able to get traction to feel okay spending on the other necessary stuff.

I made an error in calculating and had myself a good panic attack the other day.

Then I redid it and had one of those woke poor folks moments where I realized such a relatively small amount could set us ahead enough to live comfortably, I just sort of had to shake my head.

I went a step further and added up a slightly larger amount and y’all, being a poor person and trying to better yourself with two pennies when you need a dollar is such a terrible thing. I’m trying really hard not to be discouraged. I already feel fairly ground down, worn out. I’m still doing my arty shit, but, it feels terrible.

Yes, I could try a fundraiser but, those make me feel kinda terrible. I will likely reopen my teespring shop and try some other stuff.

There’s no conclusion here, just some real shit.

Being poor is terrible and so stessful.

If you are having this problem right now, I feel you. And I see you. We’ll make it.

Gender Feels are Upon Me

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If you didn’t know already, I am not a cis person. Read about it here.

I’ve been thinking about the gender indicators in my life/aesthetics. I have some more non-fiction in the works about this stuff, and that the best way to describe my gender is Femme. If you want to know about Queer Femme sorts, start here this is pretty great.

When I was lil baby Femme, normally when I felt more like FemmeBoi I would break out my (note most clothes, stuff will be affiliate links) bondage pants, saggy jeans, the occasional snapback and I usually would cut all my hair off. I kind of hated that but kind of loved it.

Looking back, a lot of my gender presentation was based on what I thought was masculine. Boots, oxfords, I wore a lot of oxfords. Trousers if I wasn’t wearing bondage pants. Mens clothes.

Now that I’m older, I realize that masculinity is not one size fit all. So what do I do now?

I’ve been in the long process of unfucking my wardrobe, mainly in figuring out what fits what doesn’t and getting rid of some truly raggedy shit.

If you’ve been here for a minute you know I’m an Aging Goth, I hate wearing pants, I’m not a fan of non stretchy waistbands. My style is pretty Femme. Lately all I want in the world are printed leggings, skater dresses, skater skirts, boots (UGH if those weren’t Demonia I’d buy them  next I love them so much, I’ll make a post about Demona later), tall socks and maybe some big ole ratty sweaters.

So what/how am I altering my gender expression to match my mood?

These days it is still boots but instead of trousers I wear leggings. Or if I’m feeling it, I might wear my only slightly trusty Dickies. And my very worn trusty old Docs. The short ones.  I also tend to wear more masculine scents. Yes, I KNOW scentless but doing that makes me super unhappy and I try not to douse myself. Honest.

The funniest thing to me about my gender expression and style is that it’s fairly genderless at this point. Mainly my gender expression has turned into aesthetic goals.

These include:

  • Looking like an anime villain.
  • Low key cosplay.
  • Regal Goth Prince
  • Kinda butchy Domme in business/sex wear. (Don’t ask I dunno yet)
  • Alien Nazgul Queen (Queen as in Queer not monarch)

What else is in my dream aesthetic? Sex and danger. A little androgyny. Fully beat face, with some masculine swagger. Because I can do that. That is what my body does naturally depending on what gender feels I’m having at any one time.

Later in life when I’ve got the cash I will continue with my body mods as well. We’ll talk about that in another post.

Basically, I want my outside decoration to entirely flow with the tide of my feelings. It will be hard, but I believe in myself.

That’s all for now.

 

 

 

When Poor Kid Feels Do Me Right

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These are from my Twitter stream yesterday-

I put these on storify for easy reading.
Lately, I’ve had a lot of financial anxiety. I can’t say that it’s reasonable levels of anxiety, but to be honest, this is pretty much the last frontier in terms of things that just Fuck Me Up.
For some extra background, I’ll talk about some of where this particular trauma response comes from.
I’m sure we’ve all heard these supposed ways that we poor folks can save 1000$ dollars a year or whatever shit. These ideas are based on the premise that if we just stop spending “frivolously” we’d have savings.
Even way back when in the mid90s when yours truly was a baby adult trying to figure shit out, I was told that sort of thing. Back then I think the highest paying job I had was about 6.25$ an hour.
Right and I bought it. Even back then. I’d learned to budget in school and my budgets typically were basics, rent first, no cell phone back then so everything after rent (even then I had to pay gentrification prices which is a whole other thing) took up about 75$ of my checks. I spent most of the rest of my checks on things like bus passes, feeding myself (usually the dollar menu at Wendy’s. I could eat to stay alive for 2$ a day it wasn’t okay), and the few vices I had.
At that time my main vices were smoking, appetite suppressant pills (for the energy and to save money on food, I vividly recall mathing that out and finding that it was cheaper to do that rather than eat, also a whole other post) and I really loved to do one day every three weeks or so where I splurged. Usually I’d take five dollars, get a very good coffee and go prowl my favorite used book store for hours until I found the perfect book for under 1.50.
Back then I was deeply committed to trying to financially better myself. I took odd jobs, I stripped under the radar, I worked some other not really above board jobs. What I didn’t understand back then was that even when I was doing stuff under the table, normally it did not work out in my favor. For some jobs, the taxes were enough to pretty much negate my ability to save, etc.
Even then I had the low key understanding of how problematic a lot of these savings schemes are. I didn’t have the language, but I got it.
Most of the ideas and plans for savings I see assume a LOT of things such as but not limited to:
  • You have X amount of dollars you spend every day on “frivolities”
  • You drive.
  • You can afford in the most technical sense (as in having 2.5-3 times your rent in income) to live where you do.

Now a lot of the language around these things is very paternalistic and designed to induce guilt if you as a poor person ever treat yourself to “frivololities”

All of us poor folks have heard it. I got it a lot while I was writing for XOJane because obviously I can’t actually be poor if I ever have a nice thing (a Clarisonic), I waste money because I like makeup, I waste money because sometimes I want a beer or a slurpee, I’m terrible because I “encouraged” poor folks buy themselves things if they want to.

I bring this up because I believed it. Up through my early 30s, I still in my heart believed that my poverty was because I was too ignorant to make good choices, that I was somehow morally inferior to other people. I internalized the things I was taught from childhood up, that mingled together to fuck up my self esteem. It caused me to really spend a lot of time feeling like a shit person because I couldn’t afford things, I couldn’t “stick” to a savings plan, I couldn’t pull myself up by my bootstraps out of poverty.

All of this created a cycle of terror, self hatred, shame and panic that became really vicious. I devalued a lot of the poor folks skills I have/had. My ducks ass tight budgets, my ability to even pre-internet access find ALL them deals, my ability to barter, ways I learned to live a better quality of life while being in poverty. It wasn’t good enough.

Looking back over the years, I’ve endured some financial fuckery. Being stolen from, having a landlord go SUPER mega slumlord and rook me out of about 5K, being rooked out of 3-4.5K in shitty dental work. Things that were huge and ruined my entire life.

Fast forward to right now.

I have done a lot of work on this. I have spent so much time reteaching myself and figuring out what I actually believe.

Thus lately I’ve been struggling. I have a deep desire to improve the quality of the life my partner and I are living. We need some stuff and haven’t been able to afford all of it and it sent me into a bit of a shame spiral.SO I was doing that thing, the obsessive balance checking, the self loathing because there was personal self-care stuff I needed, shame because I also need some other stuff like pants and shoes.

But the silver lining is that after my obsessive checking and budgeting, I realized today that we’re 100% on target this month and last month. There has been a dip in my side hustle income through not much fault of my own, but, damn it we’re doing the damn thing.

I am able to plan for my partner’s birthday, we are eating good, satisfying food, I got partner new pants and supplied with his preferred medications.

AND today I realized that I have a little bit of enough mad money to get a new pair of walking shoes and maybe some facial masks.

I realized today that holy fucking shit I am DOING THE DAMN THING. No, I can’t afford to buy name brand shoes, I can’t afford to move  and I’m still living in poverty, but I am not living in miserable poverty.

There’s less coming in but life is good.

That is huge.

Okay, if you struggle with this sort of thing, y’all- it can get better. If I can learn to not abuse myself and let myself live a better quality of life because I fucking deserve it, not because I’ve “earned” it..you can too.

I leave y’all with this.

didthething

Image is a gold star with the text “Congratulations” on top and on bottom “you did the thing”

I love y’all. The next post I’m gonna have some natural hair struggle bus updates, soon another wig review and I’ll give some beginner hair care tips I wish someone had given me.

 

 

[<a href=”//storify.com/Weebeasty/poor-kid-feels” target=”_blank”>View the story “Poor Kid Feels” on Storify</a>]

My Body Image is Broken

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Content Warning: Body image, negative self talk, weight.

Lately I have not been super nice to my body. My weight shifted slightly again and I’m very disappointed in myself and my ass. I don’t want to be losing weight at all.

I’ve been looking at my body and tend to be thinking shitty things about it. I’m mad because my ass is not as full as I want. Because the random perimenopause bloat means I’m never totally sure what will fit. I’ve been in a lot of pain lately, new pain, different pain and I’m mad about that.

Ugh.

I feel a need to confess some things so y’all understand what I’m struggling with.

My personal idea of the Ultimate Shannon Body isn’t really like a thin body type. Frankly, when I’m much smaller than I am now, I’m mad uncomfortable.

What would make me the happiest would be to be built like a beefy, big titty having, brick shithouse.

Basically, my ideal is all muscle under my chub (my body does not do serious body fat reductions without a lot of harm) with big boobs.

I know how to achieve that. The how isn’t really a problem. The problem is that doing so causes me a bucketful of other problems. That much exercise exacerbates my insomnia, low blood sugar issues etc. It’s just not really worth the toll it takes.

I know that intellectually.

Emotionally, I want it.

Emotionally, I want to resume what I used to do to deal with my feelings. Soul crushing, punitive work outs.

Once upon a time I worked out mainly to punish myself for feeling things. I made my body suffer so I wouldn’t necessarily have to deal with my emotions. That is not okay and was a huge problem for me. It was another way to turn my aggression inward and often I’d wind up having trouble walking because of my knees and ankles, pulled muscles, falls nothing good.

What I’m going through now is emotional.

These are the type of feelings that for me can lead down a real dark path. Disordered eating, depression, etc.

So what do I do?

Instead of muscling, pun intended, through it I’m thinking about it. I’m letting myself have these feelings and examine them.

For right now, there are non brickhouse baby things I’d like to do.

  • Relearn how to bellydance
  • Increase my flexibility
  • Decrease some of my pain as I can

The thing that gives me pause is the potentiality of weightloss I don’t want. Also the cost. I need a sports bra, those are expensive as fuck cause big ass titties. I’m not going to get a gym membership, too much temptation for going balls out.

So what I’m going for is harm reduction. Lately I’ve been doing some power walking (YAY) and light stretching. I am looking for a flexibility training thing to do, we all know I still hate yoga.

I am going to do my level best to take it easy on myself.

Right now, I’m doing what feels okay and not like it is putting myself in harms way. I feel kind of okay about all of it right now. I’m still bitter about my body not being the same fat body I was in love with. I’m bitter about having pain that I can’t really do much about.

My main goal here is emotional soothing rather than physical change. Some extra flexibility is great, but peace of mind is better.

We’ll see how it turns out.

I feel better already.

 

Adventures in Aging- Perimenopause and Meeting Crushing Fatigue

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I wrote a little essay about my adventures in Perimenopause. You can check it out on Medium here.

So this will be a new feature here.

First, what is perimenopause?

This is what my browser says:

pe·ri·men·o·pause
[ˌperēˈmenəˌpôz]

NOUN

  1. the period of a woman’s life shortly before the occurrence of the menopause.

Um shortly, that is some bullshit. This can last from 5-15 years.

Currently I think I’m about in full year two or so.

Whatever.

Can we talk about the symptom they call crushing fatigue?

For the background, I’ve had sleep disorders for my entire life. I’m talking from toddlerhood on up. I’ve dabbled in about everything to help:

Things I have tried:

  • Drugs- legal and not
  • Herbs- legal and not
  • Sleep hygiene. 
  • Yoga
  • No screens/sensory input for various times before bed.
  • Giving up caffeine/any stimulant
  • White noise
  • No noise
  • Ear plugs
  • Eye masks
  • Exercising up to 3-4 hours a day and/or 2 times a day.
  • Masturbation
  • Intermittent fasting
  • Juice “cleanse”
  • Vegan diet
  • Raw diet
  • Weight loss
  • Long walks
  • Meditation
  • Alcohol
  • No alcohol
  • Not eating before bed
  • Eating before bed…

So yeah. Pretty much all the things. At worst I walk around sleep deprived enough that it would be extremely unsafe for me to drive if I did, and everything is awful. Frankly, I’m kind of used to that and I can function. It’s not always great and when things are extra special bad, my hands shake and I’m pukey and crazy.

In my research when I first saw the crashing/crushing fatigue symptom I was like, oh bitch please I got this.

Y’all….

My reproductive system was like:

bitchwat

Image of Katt Williams looking disgusted, text reads “When someone says something stupid” on top. On the bottom it says, “Bitch what?”

SO..um.

Right.

I’ve been tired. I’ve been hospitalized for exhaustion. I’ve walked (and worked) while hallucinating due to exhaustion.

I have never felt like this in my fucking life.

Some days, getting out of bed is a battle. Riding the bus, I feel like I might nod out like a junkie. I am just, so fucking exhausted.

It’s the brain fog and the body feeling like I went ten rounds with somebody.

I’m doing what I can but damn y’all.

I’m trying to do shit and my brain is like:

dump-fire-3

Photo of burning tires.

My brain is a burning tire fire.

Thus the blogging is a bit slow because I really only have the stamina for a few things.

Y’all shit is not cute.

That said. I’m dealing with other stuff fairly okay. My skin has changed and I’m working with it. I’ll make a post about that later.

I’ve started the occasional bonus periods. Spotting. Bloating, y’all the fucking random bloating. It’s a good thing I already prefer a good stretchy waistband cause shit is real.

I’ve been experimenting with my nutrition and whatnot as well. So I’m doing stuff, I don’t want to do hormone therapy.

There will be more adventures in aging posts. The next time it’ll likely be a skin post since my skin has been doing the absolute most.

 

 

 

What has been seen…Oh Dani no. CN: rape culture, anti fatness, patriarchy

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Many of you may have seen around the internets today that Playboy model Dani Mathers  “accidentally” publicly snapchatted a naked women (who was unaware she was being filmed or watched) with the charming caption:

If I can’t unsee this you can’t either.

Head over here to Good House Keeping to view the story and the photo (I am so glad the photo has been censored) and you can see Ms. Mather’s shitty I got busted fauxpology.

First, let’s establish a few things.

While in some states it might not be strictly illegal to do what she did, it is a fucked up thing to do. As someone who makes money off of her image she should know that first and foremost (because obviously morality didn’t come to play here) that shit is expensive. How mad would she be if her highly valuable image was distributed in this manner without her consent or a paycheck?

Second of all. She is doing exactly the same type of shit that MANY women talk about. Her behavior is dangerous, creates an explicitly unsafe space for someone she apparently doesn’t think is fuckable or based on her ideas of what an acceptable body is. This is the shit that many women rage against strange men doing, this is the type of predation that bathroom scare folks believe trans people will do in bathrooms, THIS is the type of behavior that keeps a lot of people out of the gym.

Now onto the “apology”.

“I just wanted to acknowledge a photo that I accidentally posted on Snapchat earlier today and let you guys know that that was absolutely wrong, and not what I meant to do. I have chosen to do what I do for a living because I love the female body and I know that body shaming is wrong and that’s not what I’m about, that’s not the type of person that I am. That photo was taken to be a personal conversation with a girlfriend, and because I am new to Snapchat, I didn’t realize that I had posted it and that was a huge mistake.”

Ahem.

I call entire bullshit on this.

First of all, it wasn’t a fucking accident. I don’t use snapshot, but I don’t think you can accidentally film and caption things without going through some steps.

Second bullshit. “Not what I meant to do” so, what WERE you doing? If you take a photo and use a phrase like can’t be unseen, what you are saying is that by seeing (I saw the uncensored version) the naked body of a not really fat, but average woman at a sink presumably washing her face or something, you have been traumatized.

If we infer why, it’s because holy shit GROSS A PERSON WITH A BODY THAT IS NOT DESIREABLE TO YOU IS DOING SOMETHING HOLY SHIT YOUR LIFE IS RUINED.

Right?

Now let’s note she isn’t sorry for insulting the anonymous naked woman or her body. She LOVES the female body so much she instead says this, “That photo was taken to be a personal conversation with a girlfriend-“

She’s sorry for getting caught being a judgy douchebag.

One of the reasons I personally stopped going to gyms are people like her. Luckily for me there were no camera phones at the time, but, I more than once found myself changing or shaving my legs or whatever at the gym only to find (usually) thin White women laughing, staring etc.

This is why so many people fat and not won’t exercise in public. Won’t go to the gym.

This is where we put the lie to the idea that people like Ms. Mathers ” I love the female body”.

No if people who ever use the phrase “I love women’s/female bodies” it should be qualified with the truth of the statement. They almost always “love” the bodies they find fuckable.

The use of love is not in the caring, I hope your life is a wonderful type of way. It is in the manner that means, you deserve to live/be because you are STILL desirable. I’d fuck you so your life has value.

So not only is Ms. Mathers replicating patriarchal heterosexist behaviors. She has now deleted her twitter so I can only imagine but come on.

I will say again what I’ve been saying for years. This type of behavior is not demonstrative of any kind of good or the lovely kind of love.

It is a kiss followed by a slap.

If you love someone, you wouldn’t want to humiliate them publicly OR privately.

If you support folks with all kinds of bodies workin on their fitness, you would not want to humiliate them publicly OR privately.

If the immediate justification is something like, OMG IT IS MAH OPINION well your opinion is shitty. I do not believe that opinion that actively harm people are just as okay as opinions that don’t. Fuck that.

Think it if you want to or need to, but understand that I don’t think it need airtime.

And let’s not forget how many fucked up ways doing this sort of thing violates consent and is fallout from rape culture that says that any woman doing anything anytime is fair game.

Rape culture indicates to us who are or present as women that we are always fair game. Whether it is for fap material for random dudes or to be humiliated we’re supposed to just accept it. Now this, this behavior is emblematic of that aspect of rape culture and I hope she’s thinking about it.

Dani Mathers violate another woman in multiple ways. She only apologized for getting caught doing it and I hope she’s having to deal with the ramifications of her behavior.

I sincerely hope that this is a learning thing for her. I hope that she’ll have the time and space to really dig into why she thought it would be so funny to shame this other woman at the gym. About why she thought it was totally okay if it was private. I hope she learns how to apologize for real. I hope she starts thinking about what consent means, especially in terms of being involved in the adult industry and how she can maybe learn to take consent more seriously.

 

 

Wig Review-Janet Collection Synthetic Hair Wig Helen

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Okay my loves.

If you don’t know I’m growing my hair and using wigs as a protective style. I’m a HUGE wig lover and have a wee little collection and I wanted to do some reviews.

So let us begin.

First wig up on the block is the Janet Collection Synthetic adorable bob called Helen. I got her in the shade red velvet.

(Affiliate links in this post for Amazon AND I will be adding a wig section to my Amazon store cause what dream beauty supply wouldn’t have wigs?)

Here’s how the photo looked when I first saw her:

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Image of a light skinned Black woman wearing a blonde and brown bob cut wig.

Okay, so here is a secret about me. Even though I’m on my way to growing out fairytale length hair, I LOVE a good sharp bob. I don’t know what it is but nothing makes me feel all Villanous Bad Bitch than a good bob. I picked the lovely bright red with black roots ombre and here is how she looked on me.

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Close up view of a brown skinned Black woman wearing dark brown lipstick and a black and red wig.

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Front facing shot of a dark brown skinned Black woman in square glasses and a black and red wig.

I KNOW my photos. Not the most awesome because my phone is hella old. Deal with it.

So right out the box I wasn’t super into the fullness of this wig. The density of the hair is fairly thinnish so I was a bit disappointed but, I think I only paid like 19 dollars or something for it so, why be mad?

The ONE thing that eventually became a deal breaker was the weird cap construction.

See here:

wigcap

Inside shot of a wig cap with two combs placed along a center part.

Okay, so here’s my issue with this. I wear wig caps and a wig slip (more on that later) if you are wearing a wig cap there’s no way to secure those combs comfortably. I tried it without my cap and wig slip on and I found it very uncomfortable and it pulled at the roots of my hair along my center part.

Also on this unit as a few other reviews I saw mentioned, the wig cap itself is a bit big. Good news if you have a poofier style underneath or if you have a big head. For me, after a few good wears it stretched out enough to be not as easily securable.

I did LOVE the color. Normally when I go for red hair I opt for more of a dark, or bloody type of red. Something blue based and deep. This color is way pinker than I’ve worn and I loved it.

So I’m going to give Helen 7/10. Beautiful color, decent hair quality. Though, I don’t go for realness. I don’t give a shit if people know it’s a wig. So if you want realness this hair was not real looking at all for people who know.

There wasn’t a whole lot of shedding and was really nice to wear for a few weeks.

Overall, if you want a good throw on style or if you want a back up wig this is a good one. This is a great wig to experiment with that cut shape or with some color.

Next time I’ll review a very popular wig and we’ll talk about how I decided I don’t mind fake ass hurr.

Beauty Con BFF Box Review.

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I got my latest Beauty Con BFF box and though my first two were absolutely win, this one fell pretty flat for me.

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Image of an open box with black and white tissue paper.

Just like every other beauty surprise box after a couple the inevitable thing happens.

Most of the box is useless to me.

inside

An image of an open box showing a moisturizer, lip product, makeup brush and other cosmetic boxes.

The one thing I was pretty excited to try out the (affiliate link ahoy) Smashbox Brow Tech Powder.  I actually squeed when I saw it because it’s a product I would probably never buy for myself because I don’t do that much with my eyebrows but there it was. And they sent it in the second to lightest color taupe.

A couple of items in I noticed that this box is what I call the not for Black ass me type box.  There is some salt spray shit for hair, a facial self tanner, the taupe brow stuff. This Nyx Ombre lip thingy yeah. The lip liner bit is a very orangey red which isn’t really my jam and the other end is a coralish color that just does not look good on me. I might have liked it in another color but wah wah.

The one thing I’m actually pretty into is this Garnier Skin brightening daytime moisturizer. I had just been looking at skin brightening stuff and voila. I had this product on my list and I am about out of my Cerave daytime stuff so I’ll review that in a month.

Really the thing is, just like every other service not explicitly marketed to POC, I wind up with a this is not for you type box.

I’ve had the same problem repeatedly with Sephora and their occasional mystery bags and even with the VIB sample things. For instance. In my last Sephora order one of the things you could redeem points for was a delux sample size of the Clinique Concealer I’ve been wanting to test out.

I picked up a sample of the Beyond Perfecting Foundation + Concealer and they sent it in Alabaster. ]

This is an issue I took to Sephora before. Last year I purchased a sample set and even though I selected the darkest options, everything was for people pale tan and paler.I called and emailed and they apologized but my main point was why did I fill out a whole profile thing and still get what is presumed to be the default?

Now Things Not for my Black ass boxes are why I stopped getting them for a while.

My suggestion for these companies could be pretty easily integrated. Let customers like myself opt out of certain products. Don’t send me hair stuff. I have natural hair and yeah no please no.

If I say my skin is dark, don’t send me a self tanner.

It makes me very tired at almost 40 years old to know that these wildly popular things, aren’t grown up acknowledge the diversity in their customer base and behave accordingly. Yes, kumbaya we all love beauty and OMG LIPSTICK YASSSSSS GIRL!

But we are not all porcelain skinned folks.

And it’s okay!

It is in fact pretty freakin wonderful.

All this said, my first two BeautyCon BFF boxes were amazeballs. The one curated by uh,GRAV3YARDGIRL from youtube, stellar. I don’t remember who curated my first one, also really great.

The secret to the exceptional box is that it’s not full of products that only work for a short range of skin tones.

It doesn’t make a big deal about it.

Instead of hair products, do gift cards.

You know?

Being that the BFF box is quarterly I may or may not get another one. Truth is I don’t have a lot of money to spend on sparkly Femme stuff so when I do, I like it to count and with this box I just feel like it was a waste of my money.

All this said let’s talk about a few other of the products inside.

The first thing I tried was this LA Fresh Nail Polish Remover pad. The description from the website says:

Say bye-bye to the nail polish removers that are harsh on the nails as wells as on the nose. Say hello to a fresh scent and healthy nails with our Tuscan Orange acetone free nail polish remover pads, that conditions and remove polish on all ten nails with just one pad. Travel friendly and spill-proof.

I was skeptical because it was one pad that felt kind of dry, but, one pad did indeed remove ALL of my burgundy nail polish and left my nails feeling nice and moisturized.

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Image of brown fingers with long oval nails against a black satin background.

At 11$ for 20 I actually would probably buy these.

The next product I found was the Neutrogena Ultra Light cleansing oil. First of all, it was not taped and it leaked so everything was greasy. This was a timely thing as I’ve been doing research and started using an oil cleanser to remove my make up. The description from Ulta says:

Neutrogena Ultra Light Cleansing Oil completely cleans skin and removes makeup, even waterproof mascara, with no greasy residue. This lightweight formula contains a blend of fine oils that act like a magnet to effortlessly and effectively extract oil and impurities. Leaves skin feeling soft and healthy every day.

If we look at what is in it:

Mineral Oil, Isopropyl Isostearate, C12-15 Alkyl Benzoate, Polysorbate 80, PEG-8 Caprylic / Capric Glycerides, Sorbitan Trioleate, Polyglyceryl-3 Diisostearate, Caprylic / Capric Triglyceride, Water, PEG-6 Caprylic / Capric Glycerides, PPG-10 Cetyl Ether, Benzyl Alcohol, Fragrance, Propylparaben, Butylene Glycol, Glycerin, Rosmarinus Officinalis (Rosemary) Leaf Extract, Camellia Oleifera Leaf Extract.

Bolding mine. There are few ingredients that I absolutely do not ever use and mineral oil is one of them. Mainly because it forms a barrier on your skin and is hard to get rid of and keeps your skin from getting nourished otherwise. I don’t use it on anything I put on my body, especially my face or scalp. Do some googling and make up your own mind, but really no.

I’ll do a whole other post on my new cleansing routine in another couple of weeks.

Overall 2.5 stars. I like the deluxe sample of the Better than Sex Mascara the Nyx Chubby eye pencil in Cashmere I think is okay. Nothing great.

So yeah. Meh.

A couple of notes here at the end.

To help me save up for a tablet I’ve started my amazon affiliate store over. Hand picked beauty, books and coming soon gadgets and foods. Feel free to cruise through amazon using that link cause baby loves pennies. Find that here.

That’s it for now my darlings. I’ve got a wig review coming, some thoughts on buying make up and some skin care stuff.

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