When I got dressed this morning my main needs were comfy, somewhat warm and comfy. I am wearing leggings, a black cami and a big grey sweater and OTK black boots. Here is half my oufit:
As I was walking to the bus I had the most vivid memory.
Imagine yours truly, a middle teens potato. I remember I bought a black catsuit from the dirtmall (swapmeet) and I had these little kitten heel ankle boots and a color blocked acetate blazer WITH them shoulder pads. I put together this outfit with these big ass hoop earrings, some bangles and yes big ass bangs. I felt so cute for about two seconds and promptly burst into tears.
I recall stripping it all off and putting it in a drawer. I never once wore that catsuit. I remember throwing myself on my bed face down (in classic TV teen fashion) and crying my eyes out because how dare fat little me think I could ever expose people to the sight of my ass in that cat suit. I wrote for days in my diary about what a terrible shit person I was for even considering it.
I wrote about how I knew what size the girls people I knew called “cows” and that I was bigger than them and I imagined what people might say about me.
What’s amusing is that now, more than half my life later all those things I thought are so foreign to me. They don’t hurt anymore. I can look back and kind of shake my head at baby me. I want to go back in time and tell them that their body was great. That their body was a wee tank and to stop fucking doing high impact sports and exercise.
The other thing that I find amusing is that my current internal monologue about my body revolves around keeping my ass the size it is, being mad that my underboob is chafing or that I’ve unleashed hell fire between my thighs by forgetting to get my chub rub protection on.
So you know, if you are struggling with this stuff. If you work on it and learn to adjust your thinking it does get better, someday you might even be like me look back and just kind of chuckle.
Now some hustle news.
I am back in the Amazon Affiliate program.
This means a few things for this here bloggy blog.
- I will use A LOT of amazon links. I don’t make that much but it adds up.
- I have stated rebuilding my amazon store. Basically I pretend like I get to have my ultimate beauty, book and thangs store. Everything in it is hand picked by me. I make choices about it. So far it’s just beauty and books but I’ll be adding a clothing section a food/snax/tea section and probably a gadgets/tech section. Find it here.
Also, I’m working on doing some extra stuff over at Patreon. This week I posted up a free story set in the universe of my ongoing draft of my first urban fantasy book The Daiyu Saga. Get that here.
I am seriously doubling down on that grind right now. I am also working on some new special content for this lil spot.
Wig review is on the way. More beauty reviews. You know the shit I like.
That’s all my darlings. I’m going to also consider doing a few more beauty things. I have stuff to say.
Later taters. Happy Pride if you celebrate it. Be safe, hug people you love and have a fine damn time.