Hood Witchery Doings.

Welcome back to me bein extra.

SO let’s talk hood witchery because I’ve been doin some thangs.

First great thing. So I have a little bag that I’ve been calling my portable altar because Gris gris was incorrect, and I’m not indigenous so nope to calling it anything close to a medicine bag.  I was doing some mystical noodling on google and found the right thing.

I am making myself a MOJO BAG.

Being that the nature of my witchery is entirely syncretic and dependent on how I feel, what I dream etc. What’s interesting is that while I’ve been gathering bits and bobs for it, I have had the Muddy Waters version of Got My Mojo Working *not even my fave version* playing in my head on a loop.

I had misplaced my bag for a minute. I changed bags and left it in my other bags for a while. And I could not stop with the damn song.

Given that I have some memory issues, this is fucking magical that I’ve been thinking the right thing all along I just couldn’t bring it to the fore of my mind.

My bag is still a work in progress and I haven’t had the chance to charge it up yet. I’m going to look for some other odds and ends to fill it out with.

I’m STILL feeling some type of way about trying to vet shops to buy certain items from. I will not buy if your magical items are all Quasi-Eastern, exotifying terribleness. I really hate that so many supposed magiacal witch types will treat anything that isn’t The Morrigan as exotic table trimmings and not respect the deep heritage there.

My fucking heritage.

And I am not connected to African Diaspora religion/witchery by blood that I know of so I’m kind of floundering over here.

There are certain items I just do not feel right getting from people who are not practicing, who are not doing these things or making the sacred items I want in a way that seems respectful.

That said, I’m so glad I found my bag and connected it to the tradition that made me want to have it in the first place.

I’m working on doing some further research, looking for that yes that is what I need feeling.

For those who are atheists or feel some type of way about pagany/witchyness, leave folks alone about it. I don’t care if you don’t like it, it makes me happy.

The next thing I’m also looking at are ways to expand my communication with certain spiritual things. Baron Samedi namely. I have a lot of dreams featuring the Baron. I want to explore creating some type of sacred space in my house and not have it conflict about my negative feelings towards the space.

I tend to not remember/do formalized rituals. I do what feels good in the moment.

Also I’ll document some of my ritual stuff.

What else is coming?

In a month there’ll be some new skincare reviews. I’ll be talking more about fatness and bodies. I’ll be talking about how my relationship with my body is changing again.

That’s all for now.

Shit I like- Witchy Shit Edition

Also there will be some shit I don’t like.

How about some witchy make up shit?

I love this black lipstick roundup at Dear Darkling. And don’t think I didn’t notice they chose a person of color in one shot. I saw that.

Let me show you some great things. I’ve known the owner of this spot for awhile on the internets. Check out the cute witchy stuff at Last Craft!   Super cute stuff, candles, stickers, pins etc.

Okay y’all, my dear friend Sumayyah is a jewelry designer and quality people. I have at last count probably four pieces and look a clearance.

If you’re in the mood for some intuitive services, a goddess reading etc contact my friend Aaminah. They are very sensitive quality people. Get some. 

Do you need some digital coloring pages? I’m pretty in love with this. I was shown this artist via facebook and just love the Tarot card coloring page.

One of my fave indie body/scent makers has a soap that y’all, this shit is fucking amazing. Black Magic Cream soap from One Hand Washes the other. So good. So so good. Also her perfumery is amazing. Unique affordable natural scents. Check it out.

Is your skin annoyed right now? Mountain Madness Soap has an Oats and Honey bath bomb that looks delicious. I have had some of their other products and really dig them!

How about some goodies from yours truly?

First up, I have a big ole downloadable freebie available right now. Like urban fantasy fiction? Come check it out and download the snack pack right here.

Like that? Inside the snack pack, look for a coupon good for some $$ off in my etsy shop where you can find some MORE lit!

Also I have an announcement I already made elsewhere. I have a new book coming out, poetry from Lark Books. Check it out here. It will be available at the Summer Solstice and I’ll post here when I have any events or related info.

OH yeah if you’re new, I’m not just your Fine Ass Old Auntie I am also a writer. You can check out more of my work here.

Now for some shit I don’t like.

I’ve been reading some really beautiful dark magazines on the internets. They are gothy and the aesthetics are gorgeous and the art is lovely BUT- BUT

The complete lack of anything not written by, presented as, presented for thin White cis able bodied women is exhausting.

The worst part for me is that some of the writers I know are aware that folks outside of that particular norm exist but, these “revolutionary” or otherwise supposedly wild ass publications/parts of the Goth/Witch/Dark subculture don’t really subvert the norm of thin White cis able bodied women.

And frankly, I’m in a state right now where I’m probably going to disengage from these things for a while. Having so little representation and seeing the same type of images, the same articles, the same traditions being centered in something that is supposed to be outside of the norm is just exhausting.

The real truth is, reconstructing the problems in the bigger world in a smaller world sucks. And like I said in this entry, at this point I just don’t have the energy to try and engage with it with every magazine. Have to wade through White fragility and stone walling just so I can have something nice to look at or read about.

So that’s all for now.

Next week, I’m going to post a review of Sock Dreams and give some tips on shopping there AND there will be hair.

 

Live From the Dollar Store-CW: mental health, panic, shame spirals.

I am not literally at the dollar store right now but my heart is there.

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of work on identifying anxiety triggers. Part of me trying to deal with the reality of living with my flavor of mental illness and trauma involves a lot of me sitting with my anxiety or panic and letting it happen and then trying to figure out how I got there.

Another thing I’ve been slowly learning to allow myself to do is express what’s on my mind mid-freakout. Once upon a time, I was barely capable of telling my best friend over IM. I spent years supressing any outward signs of having emotions much less of having a panic attack that now, my deepest desire is to let it out.

So look here for what I was tweeting in a nice storified way. And then come back to this tab so I can tell you what was gong on in my head.

What set this off on Friday was that I was already feeling very nervous about what/how we were going to eat through getting my paycheck, paying the rent/bills, and until my partner’s EBT refilled. Typically the end of one month into the first week of the next is really difficult for me. I’m partly relieved, and then I’m angry all over because my paycheck barely covers my rent.
By that point in the month, we are always on the dregs of what we’re eating. My partner has health problems and I know how much of a difference a better diet could make but, we have some intersecting things that make doing that extra hard.
I know that I would feel better overall if we could eat better. I know that I feel the best when I use a less “diet” based way of eating and just eat what I want when my body says I want it.
That is expensive. I can’t afford it.
And last Friday, I was hit up for money to be taught marketing and the person used a lot of negging to do it and it caused me to have a panic attack and subsequent bout of pure rage.
The anger was mixed with my panic because, boom I had an instant cascade of food insecurity.  And what do you know, afterwards (and after eating thanks to some gracious donations) I was able to figure out and pinpoint that food insecurity for either myself or my Lil family, sends me deep into panic and anxiety and shame.
What does that have to do with the dollar store?
Our neighborhood dollar store is slightly small, cramped and usually hot as hell. The staff is pretty friendly and they have food.
Generally speaking, I always have a jar of change, I have my emergency dollars stashed and I know if I can walk up there, I can feed my little family.
It is not the best food.
But it is sometimes what makes the difference between eating and not. Between, getting some protein and eating plain ramen.
Sometimes when I’m panicky about making sure my partner has something to eat in the house if he’s unable to get out or when I realize I don’t have any lunch, the dollar store is there.
And for that, I am terribly thankful.
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