Skin Care tips, tricks and bullshits.

HELLO my loves. I hope you are as safe as you can be and dealing with the bullshits as well as you can. Today let’s talk about some things I wish I’d known when I got into skin care. We’re gonna go over lots of stuff.

First thing, some of this some of y’all are gonna be like BUT OMG AUNTIE IT WORKS FOR ME. Yes it might right now. Some of the things will cause later damage or are things that are highly comedegenic. Also if you don’t know, yes I love natural but natural ain’t always great. Cyanide is natural and you still shouldn’t eat it. That said, everything that exists is chemicals.

Now, when we talk chemicals do keep in mind that a lot of the scare articles don’t tell you the manner or level of ingestion. Too much of anything can cause a problem. You can die from drinking too much water. Don’t get too into that. Do your research but keep in mind, it is likely you won’t be putting a chemical up your own butt every day for 10 years and thus causing yourself a scary illness.

ALL RIGHTY THEN lezgo.

Let’s talk about exfoliation. When it comes to your face, here’s the problem. A lot of us suffer weird textures, etc and it is super satisfying to use a physical scrub. I was a devout physical exfoliator for YEARS y’all. Scrubs, brushes. ALL OF IT. However, once I learned the dangers including:

  • microtears in the skin
  • Said microtears helping bacteria get in and cause acne
  • Compromised acid mantle
  • Long term damage

I gave it up and switched to chemical exfoliants. My skin is still pretty sensitive so it took some product before I found the one. Every now and then I’ll use a very soft physical exfoliant, I have a knock off of the Tatcha Soothing Enzyme Rice Polish*. The long term differences between physically exfoliating and doing it chemically has been night and day.

I started with adding a gentle retinol to my routine and followed with experimenting with BHA’s and AHA’s. Not all at once. Please don’t do that. For me, while The Ordinary Glycolic acid*was like..BOOM POW it was a bit too intense for my face. I wound up only being able to use it a couple of times a week. That said, over time exfoliating chemically has proven to help fade my hyperpigmentation and a lot of it hasn’t returned in the same spots. Spots I’ve had for years that were black/purple have faded. And overall, I feel like my skin is in better health. No microtears and my acid mantle is intact.

I am tempted by physical exfoliation. I used my rice stuff last night because it is high allergy season for me so my face is flaky. It sufficed.

Now if you already have scrubs what do you do with them cause we ain’t wasting shit at aunties house. If OMG PLS DON’T BUY you have one of the St Ives type scrubs, please don’t use that shit on your face. Use it on your feet, use it on your butt, use it if you have bumpy areas on your body. Keep that shit off of your precious face.

If you have sugar scrubs, pro tip using them in tubes (as they usually come for skin) use them on your body. SUPER pro tip. The Freeman Facial Charcoal & Black Sugar Polish Mask is AWFUL for your face over time. BUT y’all, it is an amazing body scrub. It is a bit perfumey for me but I really love how silky it leaves my body.  Use it in combo with something like an exfoliating towel on your booty…then moisturize heavily and just rub it. You’ll be happy.

Moisturizing. Listen. Moisturize your damn face. Yes even if your face is oily. I used to have mega oily skin as in, sometimes it looked like I was sweating. However, once I started to focus on hydrating my skin it started to balance out. Look at being super oily as you needing to help your face realize it is moisturized so the excess sebum production slows down. It takes time. Your face will freak out. You might break out but, give it time.

What I settled on was using very rich, thick serious moisturizers at night and using something more gel like for day under my sunscreen. I often see in skin care groups folks being nervous about going to bed shiny. Go to bed lookin like a glazed donut. I mean it. Your pillow will soak up some product and also, matte is not important if you’re asleep. if you’re worried what your partner will think, maybe get them into skincare. Or tell them to fuckin’ deal with it.

I do not believe in rigid skin types. Skin is a living organ and changes. Also regardless of type, you need hydration. Drink water and moisturize.

If you find an oil you like, use that as well. I’ve used lots of them but my faves to use as my last step at night are squalene or rosehip oil. Other oils I like, hemp oil (shelf stable), vitamin e, argan oil, olive oil. Stop putting coconut oil on your face. Coconut oil can be highly comedegenic so use it elsewhere.

ALSO when it comes to products that will be on your face for hours make sure you check your ingredients. Essential oils are great for a lot of things but not on your face. Most of them even in small concentrations can increase skin sensitivity, irritation, etc. It can be hard to avoid so look for fragrant components at the end of the ingredient list.

Use SPF like it is your goddamn job. Especially if you are treating any type of pigmentation issues like melasma or hyperpigmentation. UV exposure will undo your work, put you at risk for skin cancer and overall fuck up your day. YES you too beautiful melanin rich people.

Also look.

Real talk. Three months or ten years of good skin care probably won’t give you influencer skin. Skin changes, hormones, weather, stress life, aging etc. Don’t give up because you’re not perfect after a few uses. What I’ve discovered is that rather than focusing on trying to attain that filter look or flawless glass skin, I concentrate on keeping my skin supple and healthy.

Also if you’re unable to keep up a full routine don’t give up on yourself. If all you can do is use a wipe or miceller water to take off the day, that’s okay. Don’t toss your stuff. Do what you can when you can.

Last pro tip from your fave Auntie. Treat your skin from your scalp to your toes like silk. Treat it good. Feed it well and put up with the bullshit it throws at you. If you can’t do it out of self love, do it because it holds in your organs and you need that.

As always affiliate links have a *. I encourage you to google for good prices. Go forth and glow baby.

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[image description: a photo of your fave auntie. Brown skinned, wearing glasses, a headwrap and a lip ring.]

Auntie is Old AF and it is good.

Hi darlings.

Yesterday was my 43rd birthday. Holy fuckballs. I am FORTY THREE YEARS OLD. Had you asked me at 20 if I’d see 2020 I’d have laughed in your face. Even though I’ve had a lot of anxiety about my birthday (I will explain) because people are very kind and I have people who love me, they helped a lot.

So why am I so fucking birthday anxious? It isn’t aging. I’m good with aging even the bullshit parts. I love my grey hairs, I love that. I love that I’m officially at Fine Ass Old Auntie Age. Being young was real hard and I wouldn’t go back unless someone gave me a LOT of money to have back then and I got to keep what I’ve learned.

The thing is, I have a lot of trauma around um, expressing that I want things that aren’t necessary for survival. I feel guilty when I window shop, I hear the “teasing” of my parents about being greedy. Or the exapseration when I was like other kids and would be like, OMG I want that. You know, normal kid stuff.

Parents I want to say what is coming for you. Pay attention.

Some kids will hear everything you say and how you say it. I was a kid who got sick a lot. I know now that my parents had little money but then, what I heard was how much of a financial burden I was. Every prescription of antibiotics for my ear or other infections. Trips to the ER. School supplies. School clothes. Food. I very acutely felt the weight. I don’t think they did it on purpose necessarily but a lot of that behavior, the “teasing” really damaged me.

For instance. I did not know this was a bad story until I was trying to be funny and told a friend a long time ago and they were horrified.

Scene: Me as a little potato maybe 9 years old. I tried to keep a running tally of how much money I would owe my parents when I grew up. I tried to figure out how much it cost for me to eat, how much my clothes cost, I taught myself to try and eat less. Be small. Years ago I thought it was a cute story…it is not.

There are other traumas but that one kind of sums it up. I honestly thought I’d dealt with this. In my thirties I was fine sharing my wishlists and kind of being more casual about this stuff. I don’t know what happened but for the last few years I’ve had the hardest time saying like, I’d like this stuff for my birthday or for christmas.

Even from my partner or my bestie it has just been so hard. This year, y’all. Full disclosure. So I made this birthday wishlist. Please don’t feel obligated to buy stuff. I used it as some exposure therapy on myself. I LITERALLY spent almost 3 full months curating it. I was terrified that, I’d  put too many things on it. I was anxious because I put things on it that my lil fam doesn’t need. It took me literal weeks to even share the damn thing and then I kept screwing with it.

And I KNOW I KNOW how this shit sounds. I feel stupid but here we are.

That being said. I decided to really try this year. I got some gifts from friends and y’all, I wept. Knowing that there are people who were like, HEY lil potato have a good birthday. There has been sneakers (will post pics when I get a good one), yarn, snacks. A new stock pot. Having people give me things I’ve said explicitly that I want and not have them later on use it against me or to say, hey look I did something nice for you already. it has meant a lot.

The other thing is, I treated myself. It was also very important for me in my process of re-parenting myself, and being a good Space Dad to me. So below find some photos of me being a good Space Dad to myself.

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[image description: inside of an amazon box. from Left to right, a large container of protein superfood, a box of liquid biotin, a small bottle of toner and a bottle of probiotics]

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[image description: inside of a box. from left to right. Organic superfood protein powder and a large cannister of collagen powder]

I had a bunch of other shit in my cart but, I was freaked out enough that I had to edit it, think about it and edit it. So I got what is important to me. Nutrition and skin care.

I ordered a yoga mat too but I think it got stolen.

But overall, I was a good Dad to myself. I’m gonna keep working on it.

BUT happy mother fucking birthday to me. Holy shit I’m 43!

Wig Review-Janet Collection Natural Me Human Hair Blend Lace Front Wig – Ann

OH babes. I am so in love right now. I snagged the Ann wig from the really lovely Janet collection Natural me line from Divatress.

First up, let’s talk about the store Divatress. Divatress has become one of my go to places on the net for hair. They have a HUGE selection of wigs at varying price points and styles. Easy navigation, their customer service is pretty ding dang good too. They offer some bomb coupon codes and have reward points. Just on my last purchase of this wig and a few other things, I saved about enough to cover my shipping cost.

NOW let us discuss Ann.

From the website:

Product Description
Deep Part Lace
100% Hand Tied Swiss Lace
Ear to Ear Soft Swiss Lace
Special Knotting on Back Nape
Natural Hairline & Natural Yaky Texture

She comes in standard colors, black, brown, a nice caramel ombre and a burgundy and, the silver foxiness you’re about to lay eyes on.

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[image of the author: Brown skinned NB femme wearing a cute silver fox bob wig and smiling a bit]

OKAY now I mean……….I’m feeling myself okay. I’m feeling some Big Silver Daddy Energy.

And yes. Going full steely grey without an ombre root is a thing it is a statement. I had wanted a whole ass different wig but she was sold out literally everywhere after a lot of glowing reviews so, I found Ann and I love her.

Right out of the box I love the texture of the hair. It feels like a thicker version of my natural blown out hair. Slightly crinkly, fluffy, soft. The cap construction is pretty usual, inside the part the combs are a bit too close to the front of the wig for my liking so I might move them. Without a wig slip

She is VERY big head friendly. I have an average sized head (I forgot to put my wig grip on this morning) and had to tighten her up quite a bit for a secure fit.

The lace is decent. It says “soft” lace but it is not extra soft if you get me. It isn’t as scratchy as I’ve found some brands the shade is a nice sheer shade.

Pros:

  • Soft and fluffy
  • Gorgeous color mix. They really nailed a luxurious silver fox colorway.
  • Inexepensive. Most places are selling this unit for between 25-35$ and she retails for 49$.
  • Doesn’t need a whole lot of work can be worn right out the box.
  • Just a really pretty wig.

Cons:

  • AH LAWD she sheddin. I am not sure about the other colors but, this one sheds like hell.
  • The cap may just be too dang big. Without a wig grip, if you have an average to small head security is gonna be an issue.

I highly recommend this particular wig for folks who don’t want to mess with baby hairs or securing a unit with glue or whatever. If you don’t have wig customization skills, she is real cute right out of the box. If you are an older person who wants to try out going grey, do it. Or if you are in fact Old AF and just want to be a silver fox, do it.

Overall I am totally in love with Ann and might try out another wig in the line.

10/10 would buy again.

Let’s Talk Golden Milk! My recipe and how to.

Hi babes! Today we’re gonna talk about Golden milk lattes and my personal recipe.

If you don’t know golden milk is a traditional auyervedic remedy. Traditionally you heat turmeric, black pepper, some fat and make a paste. Then you use that paste in hot milk of your choice. The reported benefits include things like:

  • Anti Inflammatory
  • Better digestion
  • Antioxidant protection

Etc etc. You can do your own research.

If you’ve been here a while you know I am VERY into food as medicine. I tried a golden milk latte from one of my fave coffee shops, Ladro.  I wasn’t looking for the medicinal properties to begin with, I honestly think it tasted so good. Very warm and comforting for a cold morning.

That said, my bank account is not set up to buy one daily so, I decided to make my own. below find my method.

Amazon affiliate links indicated with a *.

My partner picked up this amazing steel shaker bottle, designed for both hot and cold drinks. If you can’t get one of these, you’ll need something that is heat proof or if you have a mixer or milk frother that’ll work too.

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[image description: photo of a steel tumblr with a keyboard in the background.

This is the Moonice New Shaker Bottle, Stainless Steel*.  I am really impressed with it. The top screws on well and I only experienced leakage due to user error. The sippy part lid is very secure. I’m very comfortable throwing this in my bag in the morning when I leave for work.

Next thing you need is the Golden Milk powder. I use this Golden Milk Powder* by Turmaquik. I had samples of a few other brands and settled on this one. It costs about 16$ on prime and has 90 servings. It also comes with a little scoop on the inside for your serving size. I COULD mix the powder myself but, this works. I like the accessibility of it and ease.

I also use:

A squirt of hemp oil. I use the Zatural* cold pressed plain hemp oil. I have been using hemp oil more or less regularly for about 3 years now. I love using it in my diet. There is some low key pain relief for me, a bit of extra calmness. But my FAVE thing about having it in my diet is, it helps me poop.

You can also use coconut oil, ghee, etc. from my research the fatty oils help absorption of the good shit.

The rest of this is both medicinal and to taste. I use:

  • Prince of Peace Instant Lemon Ginger Honey Crystals*. I have drunk this tea for YEARS y’all. Many many years. I love ginger and I tend to have at least one or two bags on hand at all times. I use one packet for my latte.
  • Ceylon Cinnamon*. I love this stuff. I always buy in bulk and there is always at least a half lb in my house. I use it in coffee, tea, cocoa, on breakfast rice. Love it.
  • Raw honey*. Also stuff I use heavily in my life. Tea, breakfast rice, hair treatments. The linked bottle tastes really nice and is a STEAL at under 10$ for a big ass bottle.
  • Fresh ground Black pepper. We use a lot of spices, this is always on hand.
  • For milk I prefer plain almond milk or the canned coconut milk.

OKAY here’s what you do. I do this while I’m getting ready in the morning. When I am stocked I also add my MSM powder

I put our kettle on and let it go. You want your water to be heavily boiling. Hot as fuck. I use one heaping scoop of the turmeric powder, one sachet of the ginger tea, sprinkle on some cinnamon, add my honey and pepper. When the water hits a rolling boil I add it to my cup. My cup has markings inside, I don’t know the actual ounces but I add water to about 2 inches from the hot.

Secure the lid, shake the shit out of it. Once it is mixed I add in my cold milk and my squirt of oil. Shake the shit out of it some more and voila. Into my bag it goes. I flavor it by smell, when it smells right it is flavored enough. If you want it frothy, use one of those milk frothers before adding your milk.

BOOM.

Delicious. Warming. Nice on the guts. Gets me some morning blood sugar going. Medicinally, I can say that the mix does help me get a nice calmer edge. I will report back about pain after another couple of months.

Some pro tips. If you use some oil the mouthfeel will be weird at first. I personally like that slightly greasy feeling.

If you are like me and tend to be cold, this is amazing at warming you up from the inside. The ginger, pepper and cinnamon will help.

Also it is just frickin delicious.

If you try it out, report back. BE CAREFUL shaking it when you add your water and enjoy. We’ll talk more about the influence of Ayurveda in my life and ways to incorporate cultural wellness into your life when it isn’t your culture and not be an asshole.

 

 

How Moral Am I?

Hi babes.

Today we’re going to talk a bit about why the idea that health is a morality issue is not good, in fact it is damaging to a lot of us, ableist, classisist and ultimately antithetical to fostering actual wellness.

Let’s start with the personal shall we?

I am not a Healthy person. For our purposes, when I capitalize the H I’m using health in the context of the binarist idea that there are only the states of Healthy and Unhealthy. I include the group of beliefs that surround front loading things like weight and body size as the arbiters of health, of appearance as proof of health etc.

I was not born a Healthy person. I was premature, quite ill. NICU livin, heavily jaundiced preemie who has had a lot of health problems for life. There is nothing I could do save getting a full body transplant that would put me into the category of capital H Health.

Even if I had made “perfect” food, movement etc choices my entire life, I would still fail. If we look at this idea that if we are Healthy we are good, what does it mean for someone like me? In terms of the idea of wellness in the context of doing things to improve how your day to day life goes, if I am unable to attain the Goodness of Health, why would I bother?

There are many factors that impact how a body deals with or doesn’t deal with their health and wellness. Most of these are not moral qualities. I find that when we start adding morality and ethics to how we approach dealing with our bodies in this context, things get gross quick.

Example. If you use social media and have an interest in health or wellness, try this. Look at an influencer and watch how they speak about wellness and what they don’t say. If they are pushing a “tummy tea” or “detox” do they talk about how most of those things are really just laxatives. Do they talk about things like supporting your natural detox capabilities as in, your kidneys and liver? Or do they show you well edited scantily clad photos that highlight their thinness? Do they tell you that they were holding their breath and had lighting etc etc?

We all know operating under capitalism sucks so on one hand, I don’t hate them for hustling. We all got bills to pay. What I do hate is the way the culture of Health is going.

Why am I talking about these things?

I’ve been really wanting to delve deeper into health and wellness, I want to talk more about my own approaches, stuff I’m doing etc but I also need for y’all to know where I am coming from.

All this is to say, if your ideas about Health and Wellness depend on any of the following:

  • Sizeism
  • Racism
  • Classism
  • A cash hustle
  • Shitty information
  • The idea that there is only one state of healthy

You’re gonna have a hard time here. That said, I DO invite you to stick around to maybe learn some shit.

I don’t believe that we should all have the same methods, ways and means of engaging with our health and wellness. If all things were equal and there was no such thing as biodiversity in humans, these ideas of only one true way would work. And yet they don’t.

So welcome new homies. I’ve got some posts saved and we’re going to explore health and wellness. I want to talk about my personal struggles with my own health and talk more about why, how and when I engage with my health isn’t an indicator of morality.

Feel free to go back and read this post, click around for some of my fat posts and stay a while because we’re gonna talk some shit.

FULL DISCLOSURE also. I will use amazon affiliate links because your auntie likes coins. They aren’t much but every little bit helps and bitches gotta eat. I will not make any promises about stuff I link, I won’t shame you if you’re not into it, we not doin that.

Nor will you likely ever see dramatic before and after photos. I won’t tantalize you with images of me in my underwear or anything like that. I’m not that Auntie.

Thanks for visiting and I hope you come back soon.

Your Wellness Sucks.

Hello darling dears. Today Auntie Shannon has on their ranty pants so buckle up babes.

So I’ve been doing a lot of research and reading about health and wellness for both the health and wellness of my little famfam AND in relation to some writing I’ve been doing. Y’all mother fuckers.

The first thing that bothers me is this. A lot of people who are supposed experts in these things, have mistaken good marketing for decent advice. I see a lot of people who have taken a 2 week nutrition course on the internet and call themselves experts. I see a lot of people who thinly veil their fatphobia in how they talk about things like diet and exercise and frankly, I think it sucks.

Let’s talk a bit about why these things bother me so much. The first problem is that when we substitute Capitalism and commerce and profit for advising folks or talking about our own experiences, things get weird. I have had folks market dumb Kardashian diets, they want to sell me ebooks on juicing celery to solve all my problems, they don’t know how basic human biology seems to work but, they are making money so who cares right?

Look. While I am not currently a fat person, I have been a fat person. I don’t need my factual nutritional information tinted with fat hatred. It is unnecessary. From my point of view, not everything needs to be that in order to be useful. I turn it off. It isn’t the information I want not to mention, so many people are completely unwilling to remove the object of weightloss from the pursuit of better health.

WHOA.

Right?

Here’s the thing. After years of being within fat communities, the thing that changes folks lives isn’t the constancy of fat hate. It is the moment when they feel free to pursue the health they feel is in reach. In order to get there, we have to start with the idea that health is not an absolute state. The belief that there is ONLY healthy and not healthy, that healthy is a moral imperative and that health is some arbitrary bar set by whomever is not useful.

We have to understand that this view of Health (capital H) as being a single state or a particular appearance is not only destructive but it ignores the actuality of the biodiversity of human bodies. It is ableist. Health is not either or. What looks like better health for me, might be misery in your body and there is nothing wrong with that. That is how we were made. It is how we live and it is far less damaging to accept and acknowledge that than it is to insist that you and I should and must be healthy in the same way.

Part of my issues have involved being triggered by heavily disordered beliefs about food and eating being touted as health advice. I don’t see enough people acknowledge that their intermittent fasting proselytizing could be a serious eating disorder trigger. I would love to see some more judicious use of content notes and warnings. I’d like to see more folks say, hey if you have a history of disodered eating this could really trigger you. It triggered me and it took me a while of not doing nice things to my body under the guise of trying out this wellness thing to realize, I was in a serious danger zone.

In my view, while it is tempting to sit in the position of superiority and have the good feedback that one is the One True Knower of Wellness, it is ultimately damaging. If we look at wellness culture on social media, there is often backlash. When you build your profits and platform on the One True Way methodology, when things change all hell breaks loose. That is not good for any of us.

So all this said, I’ve been doing a lot of changing my eating and nutrition and whatnot and research into different health related things and I will be blogging about that more often.

The rules.

I will not step into the anti fat rhetoric. My narrative and beliefs here do not come from a place of centering my weight, your weight or weight in general as the marker of health. I don’t believe that is a good methodology for me, my body or my life. Also I won’t pander to it for views. Full stop.

I will in time talk more about it but, I do not believe in a binary healthy or not healthy view point. I believe that each of our bodies does some weird shit and we need to be able to get information that isn’t predicated on us being ashamed of that. This includes how fat my or your ass may or may not be.

I will NEVER take you or your ideas about health or wellness if you use the phrase “glorifying obesity” as some sort of methodology about why fat people should hate themselves into change. Full stop. Nope.

Fuck shame.

SO my darlings. That is where I’m coming from about wellness and why I see so much of it as being so flawed and ultimately damaging not only to the folks consuming it but also to the folks creating it.

So if you want to know where I’m going with it, please come back. I’ve got my shit somewhat together and have some posts planned and scheduled for this.

Thanks for visiting babes!

And if you’re interested in my other writing, come check out and like my brand spankin new writer page on Facebook. 

2018 Priorities and Shit

Holy shitballs it is 2018.

I don’t do resolutions because I find the whole culture of that to be so shamey and gross. So instead let’s talk about priorities.

So far, my number one priority in 2018 is getting the partner and I moved and settled into a new place. This move will improve the quality of our lives so much, I’m super impatient but trying to stay calm about it. I’ve been saving and fundraising for months and after the illnesses and whatnot from Sept-December I was terrified I couldn’t do it.

BUT, I got the coins to cover at least move in so I’m happy.

Correlated to moving is that I’m hoping to be able to afford to do more for my health. I deal with a lot of chronic shit, some of it is shit I’ve had literally since birth. And as has happened time and time again in my life, my unintentional weightloss fixed none of it and exacerbated some of it.

What does more for my health look like? I want to keep up with a few things. I do a double shot of EmergenC in ice water every day. I do vitamins too. Unfortunately I lost my ability to swallow larger pills so I’ve been subbing in gummies. They are okay but my ride or die line up are all horsepills and I’m trying to get back to be able to take them. I’m back up to being able to take some medium sized pills so hopefully 2018 is my year.

Correlated to that, my hair. I’ll be continuing to do the LOC method and my main goal is retaining length. Since braids were a total fucking fail (why yes, I am still salty AF about it) I’m back in wigs. Currently rocking a silver bob that I feel magical as fuck in.

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[image description: photo of the blogger, a Black femme person in a silver asymmetrical bob wig]

I’ll probably do my annual blowout soonish. My last one, my hair looked AMAZING. I may start doing a blow out once a month or so. Mainly to give myself the encouragement to do a monthly deep detangle. All the way to the scalp with the little comb.

I really want to avoid the deep terrible tangles I struggled with this year. I’m also cycling taking biotin and am going to mix up some hair oil for my scalp because I tried giving up greasing my scalp and nah son.

My poor scalp gets so dry like the rest of my body except my face. So yeah, I’ll be liberally greasing up literally from scalp to toes forever.

Overall my priorities this year are to remember how to take better care of my whole self. I want to return to my habit of figuring out DIY remedies and things. I want to maybe eve start making body care items again.

Hopefully, I will remember to bring y’all along for the fails and wins.

See y’all soon!

2017…..looking back.

2017 has been a giant trash fire.

So….yeah nope.

That said let’s talk about some of my favorite things.

Skincare up first. *Most of these will be affiliate links, Auntie needs coins cause bitches gotta eat.

Cleaners:

L’Oreal Pure Clay Cleanser Detox and Brighten. I am on my second tube of this and I really love it. Leaves my skin nice and clean, it lathers up nicely. It is a bit too perfumy but overall it does me good.

Garnier Clean+ Makeup Removing Lotion Cleanser Sensitive Skin. Y’all know (I will do a new reggie post soon) I double cleanse my face. I picked this up and am about done with a tube. It removes make up really nicely. I use this first. It is gentle enough that my skin stays moist but it does a good job on my long wear foundation. If you don’t wear fourteen pounds of mascara regularly, it gets off mascara well too.

First Aid Beauty Skin Rescue Deep Cleanser. SUCH a great mid/low Sephora type price cleanser. It does in fact deep clean but doesn’t leave my face stripped. This one is in heavy rotation I use it at least twice a week. It is nice and thick, has a great texture on the skin.

BIORÉ Charcoal Acne Cleanser.  This one is a winner with a few caveats. First one, my personal face is very suspicious of salicylic acid. I don’t use it a lot because my skin will get mega dehydrated. That said, I keep this cleanser on deck for hormonal breakouts. Or if my face just feels grody. It will clean the shit out of your face. Great low cost deep DEEP cleanser to have on hand.

GARNIER SkinActive Micellar Cleansing Water All-in-1 Cleanser & Makeup Remover.  When I first got this, I kind of hated it. I felt like it leaves a film, took WAY too much work to get my make up off because I wear a shitload. HOWEVER, it is really great to follow the make up removing lotion and it will get off ALL my seventeen pounds of mascara and liner without scrubbing. It is great to just get off any missed make up and I’ve been using it daily. If you have dry skin and don’t wear a lot of make up, this might be amazing for you.

Toners:

Now I am a relatively new convert to this step. That said. I’ve been trying some.

I use a 50/50 mix of Bragg USDA Organic Raw Apple Cider Vinegar, With The Mother  and filtered water. I actually feel personally attacked by this. Y’all. I HATE HATE HATE the smell of acv but, it works so well on my body. It works so nicely it makes me ANGRY. I legit get mad. The toner, balances my face and my skin just feels better using it. I used it for three months, took a month off and absolutely noticed a difference in the feel of my skin. I haven’t been able to do a shot of it a day but, baby steps. We’re gonna revisit it.

Moisturizers/serums/oils.

First up Vitamin C serums. My two favorites are Claire-ity 25% Vitamin C Serum with Hyaluronic Acid and Vitamin E and Vitamin C Serum with Hyaluronic Acid and Vitamin E – Anti-Aging Tropical Facial Serum by Umber.  They are almost identical. The Umber serum is a tad bit more liquidy but they perform the same for me. I like having my hyaluronic acid in with the vitamin C. This is another product I questioned the efficacy of. After I ran out of the Claireity I went without for a couple of months and yeah. It matters for my skin. Using vit c serum absolutely helps keep me from developing new hyperpigmentation, my skin is more even toned. Also my current hyperpigmentation smooths out way faster.

THE ORDINARY Buffet. I was on the fence about this one but stopped using it for a while. When it joins with all the other shit I put on my face, smoother skin. Plumper skin. Hydrated skin so I really do love it.

My FAVORITE facial oil isn’t available online. I use a CVS house brand brightening oil. Y’all. It is the SHIT. I was underwhelmed with Argan oil for my face, I honestly grabbed it on a whim and I am very impressed. I’m not sure about the brightening powers but, using it has absolutely upped the general moisturization of my face. HA WAIT I lied. Find it here.

Masks:

Get a snack this is taking a while. For masks I keep quite a few on hand depending on what my skin needs. Some are interchangeable some not so much.

I use sheet masks a lot. I picked up this multipack and y’all. I especially recommend using these after any deep cleansing, deep exfoliation or peels. Mostly, I use them for the hardcore moisture. Also it is just relaxing.

Next up some hardcore ride or dies.

FORMULA 10.0.6 Deep Down Detox Ultra Cleansing Mud Mask. This is marketed for teens and if you’ve been  here a minute, y’all have seent it. This brand is marketed for teens but I bust it out when I’ve got hormonal breakouts or my skin is just trippin. I love it.

Charcoal & Black Sugar Facial Polishing Mask. For surface scrubby exfoliation (for me it helps with my peely scaly ass face) this is really great. Not too gritty, leaves my skin soft and fresh. Also the price!!!

Another OH SHIT MY FACE mask is the ORIGINS Out of Trouble 10 Minute Mask to Rescue Problem Skin. Y’all. Y’ALL. This shit right here is reserved for my OH FUCK OH FUCK WTF IS THAT SHIT moments. It is powerful and not for the sensitive of faceballs. It is intense enough at drying up pimples that now that my skin is generally clear I reserve it for spot treating bumps, mainly anything with a whitehead, or those shitty under the skin bumps. It works. It will make your eyes water.

I use other masks mainly for relaxation. For instance those packet sauna masks and shit. The Montagne Jeunesse Red Hot Earth Sauna Masque is one of my favorite things on earth. It doesn’t do  much but I love the sensation of self heating so much I will buy them by the handful for strictly relaxing purposes.

Moisturizers- eh none this year have blown my socks off.

So let’s stop there cause I got more and ain’t nobody got time for that.

Come back probably Monday for body stuff!!

What are your faves?

The Smallest Indulgences

Hello loves.

Today is fucking terrible so I’m gonna hit you with some cheap indulgences/mini reviews. Yes affiliate links are gonna be used. Don’t hate, appreciate.

FIRST THING. I love a good wet shine gloss with or without shimmer. Some glossy stuff I’ve tried lately.

Burt’s Bees Lip Shine, in Pucker.

Okay I grabbed one on a whim out of a clearance bucket because my lips were dry and if I’m gonna be real, my go to self-care, small treat thing is lip products. I’ve been wearing it all day today and the color is very sheer, the texture is thick and jelly like without being sticky. It has a pleasant but not strong sweet taste. Very shiny. Do like. I wouldn’t pay 7$ for it but if you spot one on clearance snag it.

The next thing I tried recently is the Milani Lip Oil shit.

Okay so…I LOVE how it smells. LOVE the shine but I don’t feel like it is much of a treatment. Lip oils had some moments from the early 90s and every now and I always LOVE the idea. Shine, treatment, COLOR but. Y’all. I also tried this one from Sephora and no. The thing about using an oil is that it is meant to absorb right? So while the concept is awesome and the immediate feel is really nice, this is not a great type of product for longevity. That said, if you don’t mind frequent reapplying, it is a shiny nice lil thing.

Next up, I have been getting back into my Nyx Butter Glosses. They are so great. They are inexpensive and come in some great colors. If you are someone who wants to try out some bolder lip colors but aren’t ready for something super opaque these are a great stepping stone. The colors tend towards buildable, they are shiny. They are usually 5-7$ and I LOVE them.

Another thing I love (because I’m wearing more matte lippies) are primers for lips. I like the one from Ulta. The clear Babylips also does the trick. A nice little soft layer. Some matte lippies won’t totally dry down over a primer but I’m willing to trade some wear time for more comfort.

What else?

Well, this post isn’t really about lipstick. It’s more about ways I utilize treat yosefl self care when everything fucking sucks. And right now, everything fucking sucks.

I’ve also been really getting all the way into my skin care stuff. How about a couple of quickie reviews for that?

Garnier SkinActive The Gentle Sulfate-Free Face Wash. I picked this because my face was irritated and I wanted something gentle and non annoying. Pros- no scent, it is a good size bottle and you only need a full pump or so especially if you’ve already removed your make up. My face in particular doesn’t like this. For some reason this product tends to over cleanse my skin. I think it is because I double cleanse and it’s just too much. I tend to reserve this one for days when I don’t need to double cleanse or I wore a fuckton of make up.

[MIZON] Tube Collagen Power Firming Eye Cream is another thing I’ve been experimenting with. This is not a miracle cream but it is very nice. I’ve been using it for about a month or so. If you want something that is more heavy duty and has some power, this ain’t it. I do suggest this for folks who are under 30 or just getting into skin care. I’ll finish the tube and try a new one.

Let’s talk some stuff I want to try. I’m very experimental with some stuff and I’ve got a lil bit of a wish/needs to try.

FORMULA 10.0.6 P.M. Perfector– I am a fan of this brand when I remember it exists. I have a few of their masks and really like them. I LOVE this one FORMULA 10.0.6 Deep Down Detox Ultra Cleansing Mud Mask. It is hardcore and the bergamont fumes burn my eyes a bit but I find it really nice.

I have some facial oils I want to try too. Y’ll I cannot be without a facial oil anymore. I just won’t. I LOVE how juicy and plump they make my skin. ALSO protip, if you suffer skin flakiness near/in your hairline, using some of your face oil into your hairline helps a lot.I want to try the Mario Badrescu Rose Hip oil but I will probably buy it elsewhere because that is expensive af. When I buy more retinol from The Ordinary I’m probably gonna snag the rose hip oil as well.

ANDALOU NATURALS Pumpkin Honey Glycolic Mask- I REALLY want to try this one. The stuff in it looks good to me and that price is niiiiiiiiiiiiice. Y’all I am still so into the Peter Thomas Roth pumpkin mask but it is so expensive. It really would take up my self care budget for an entire quarter.

I’m super in love with the rebranding from Freeman and I want to try the FEELING BEAUTIFUL Manuka Honey & Tea Tree Oil Foaming Clay.  I really love the 4 in 1 ACV one. I love almost anything clay based.

How about some tips before I close it out for today?

Like hair typing, skin typing is only so good. Learn what your personal skin says. Mine tends to say, YO I AM OILY AS HELL BRUH! It also says, YO LOOK AT THIS FLAKY PATCH NATURE GOT ON U LOLOL FUQ U…And then sometimes it also says- LOOK HOW FUCKING FULL OF MELANIN AND GLORY I AM!

Listen to your skin. Sometimes it will let you know via rashes, breakouts or other weirdness that it has a need.

Just because something is expensive, doesn’t mean it is great. I learned this the hard way in my 20s and y’all nah.

Sometimes, starting simply works. Wash, moisturize, wear SPF. Like that’s really all. And two of those things can be combined.

If you are broke here are my instantly do something great for your skin tips:

  • WATER or other liquid, drink it.
  • If you wear make up brushes, wash them. You don’t need fancy brush cleaner. Hell you can use dishsoap, shampoo, facewash, brush wash, baby soap, body wash (best if it doesn’t have a lot of moisturizing stuff) whatever is sudsy.
  • If you are breaking out, do the above and also go easy on your face. Over aggressive cleansing can make you break out.
  • Be NICE TO YOUR FACE.

That’s all for now.

Go forth, feel cute cause you are.

I am not an “after”-About Fatness

Folks who’ve known me for a long time to know my weight has fluctuated over the years. Recently someone had a looksy at some old outfit photos of mine and then emailed me to let me know how “proud” they are of my weight change.

Okay, so first of all, do not do that to people. It doesn’t matter how fat someone is or was, unless they ask you mind your damn business. Losing weight, whether it is, on purpose or not is not always something to be applauded regardless of the before. Also, other folks don’t owe you thanks for noticing the size of their ass at all. They don’t. So don’t.

Next thing. I am not a good or bad former fatty. My change in ass size has not changed my body politics or staunch fat acceptance. Actually, no that’s a lie. It’s a hot fucking lie. My stance on fat acceptance, has gotten stronger. The fact that I now reside in an area of privilege where I’m a little smaller than the average American woman, I’m pissed off. It shouldn’t be a privilege for me to now be able to buy 7$ leggings. Or be pretty ding dang sure if I go to Target, there will be at least a few pairs of pants I like or whole lines of clothes I can buy.

My position of privilege means that some makers, now deem my money worthy and will make me a skirt or dress without charging 50$ extra. It means that if I go buy a dress makers dummy, I won’t have to pad it except maybe the boobs. It means that when I go to the doctor, I’m listened to a little bit more. Oh, you lost weight YAY but you still have these health problems? Maybe it wasn’t your weight after all.

Here is where we get body posi graduate level. Rather than looking back at the place where I didn’t have these privileges and wallowing in my relief not to be the face or ass of the bad fatty, I’m pissed off. I want to smash the privilege I’ve slid into because I can see just how shitty it is.

There is zero reason that my smaller ass should mean that suddenly I’m a better, more moral, more trustworthy person. Being less fat, being closer to thinness and having thin privilege by being close to it, did not change my soul.

Now folks who are not fat, I am talking to you right now. Former fatties, I’m talking to you too.

Listen, when we are in this position of having privilege due to proximity to the “ideal” it’s not the time to disappear into the mealy mouthed body posi that pays zero attention to people whoa re really fat. Let’s talk about using our position of privilege as a fucking weapon.

These days when I inquire about sizes, I don’t limit myself to my own size 12ish ass. I ask why doesn’t this come in a size 26? I tell retailers, hey there is a market of folks who want this thing who are above your (insert largest size here). Because of how privilege operates, the response I’ve gotten to these inquiries has been markedly more friendly than they were when I would say things like, I want to give you my money, why doesn’t this come in my size?

That is how privilege works.

Now, as far as my own weight changes, they kind of are what they are. I still don’t really want it. I still am not really okay with the size of my ass, I felt perfect in my body at a larger size, but it looks like this is how things are gonna be so I am making peace with it.

I am enjoying my 7$ “one size” leggings. I am enjoying that I can usually go to big lots and find the size 6 panties I like for super cheap. Those things are great. When I was fatter and didn’t have access to those things, I wasn’t mad at the folks who did, but at the fact that being able to buy a bushel of discount panties is a privilege.

I am angry at a system that magically turns me into a “better” more trustworthy and generally more “worthy” person because my butt is smaller than some other folks.

I am angrier still because, weight changes aren’t moral victories. People who succeed for however long at purposefully losing weight aren’t heroes. It is not some magical morality bullet that turns them into amazing wonderful people. As I said years ago, if you were a fat asshole you’re probably gonna be a thin asshole too.

I don’t want it.

I don’t want jubilant congratulations on something that was not okay with me in the first goddamn place.

I don’t want to be reminded every time I deal with a medical professional that the health problems I have now, had when I was fat, had when I was super thin and have had for decades at this point are suddenly, magically real because my weight changed.

I am not an after shot. I’m not at the midpoint between before and after.

Yes, I live in a body that is often in flux. Yes, my body has changed. Yes, I’ve got some health stuff going on.

No, it’s not actually any of your business. I am not obligated to share my super ass changing secrets. No, I don’t want your speculations about how I’m a whole brand new me. I’m the same weirdo I was when I was fatter.

Can I share with you what weight loss again has not cured?

  • Any-goddamn-thing.

 

The culture of fat stigma has caused me and a whole lot of other people harm. Irreparable, sometimes fatal harm.

The culture of deifying dieting culture and intentional weight loss has done me and a whole lot of people irreparable and sometimes fatal harm.

The refusal of people who claim “body positivity” to extend that to ALL bodies, yes, ALL bodies regardless of size, ability or gender has done irreparable and sometimes fatal harm.

So you know what?

If you are in my type of position of privilege, step up. Don’t leave fat folks behind because you’re basking in the glow of conditional acceptance. The same stigma that follows fat folks, will come for you too.

That’s all for right now. We’ll talk more about it later.