Goth it up on A Budget

Hello my darlings!

Your fave Fine Ass Old Auntie returns. We’re going to be talking about clothing and accessories that are budget friendly AND easily Gothable.

First a definition of terms.

Gothable- an item that can go Goth with attitude, accessories or styling or cause you say so.

Below there will be a pin board full of straight and plus size ideas. I’ll toss in some more masc stuff as well. I will say I am no expert in masc leaning clothing because frankly I am Femme as Fuck.

Some personal style history. In the past 20 years or so, I’ve gone from OMG SO GOTH MY ASS IS SHINY IN DAYLIGHT as in wearing a lot of club clothing, vinyl during the day type goth. I’ve done ruffly lace fancy Goth. I’ve done punky goth, some kinderwhore. A LOT O GOTH. I think I’ve not done a lot of Victorian Goth or EGL or a bunch of other styles because $$ for fashion haven’t been plentiful.

In the last decade or so I tend towards the slightly absurd office goth. I like comfy. I like a stretchy waistband. I wear a lot of skirts, I love dresses. I’m very partial as I’ve mentioned to the skater skirt. I’m not very particular about where I shop. Let’s talk about that for a sec.

Some of my links will be fast fashion. I personally am not in a position to vote with my cash most of the time. I just can’t afford it. I like the idea of saving for an amazing ethical piece but in reality, for me and a lot of folks that is impractical.

Prior to my weight changing, I really didn’t think about it because most of the indie dark witchy brands just (and still) don’t go above a size 10 or 12 if you’re lucky. Even now that I’m a chonky 10/12 a LOT of the designers I love are not checking for my lil ass.

For instance I am OBSESSED with Sisters of the Black Moon and I have literally dreamed of this dress. The FLUIR DRESS BLACK LINEN. It costs $305.00. Now, yes craftmanship and everything. I’m not mad about the price. That said, if I had that type of cash to spend on a single garment, nah. I could probs fit into Large
Bust: 31 1/2″
Waist: 35″
Length: 54 1/4″

But the way I’m built, no way because um, my bust is not smaller than my waist. I run into the same problem with the beautiful things from Noctex. This item I could save up for BUT, my titties. I have them. Big ones. This is not built for someone who is not the shape of the model if that is the look you’re going for.

Often in Goth circles, folks will get up in arms over Goth being trendy. Remember that H&M Girl with the Dragon Tattoo collection? I saw a lot of hand wringing and ZOMFG MALL GOTH WE ARE SPECIAL type lamentation and y’all, wrong attitude. Yes, DIY is great. However, it is not just a matter of being able to slap shit together. Not all of us can design. Not all of us can sew. No, not everyone can sew together clothing. That is bullshit. AND often, the materials to make one shitty franken thing cost as much as just buying the damn thing.

If you can make something awesome. if not, shit store bought is fucking fine.

One of the other reasons why I love Goth as a trend is that the styles circulating in the indie and high end Gothdom, come down to earth and will fit my ass and the asses of my fat friends. If you’re mad at mall goths, you’re mad at folks who likely can’t afford to sit with you and, you might as well click away.

Ahem.

Also a lot of what you’ll find in the pinboard is office appropriate. Yes in theory we all want to wild out and wear what the fuck we want when we want but, puppies don’t appear out of nowhere when we want them either and bitches got rent to pay.

I’m not including shoes because that is a whole other thing.

Some tips.

If you cannot go full goth at work for reasons, little touches are great. Spooky jewelry from the cheesy Halloweeny stuff to beautiful handmade occult or bone jewelry. Make up is also an option. From a classic wing to a fierce AF black lip. The fun part is figuring out how much of your freak flag to fly.

My opinion, much like my style is pretty easy. Do what makes you feel fancy and if someone is doing none of the following:

  • Feeding you
  • Paying your rent
  • Fucking you
  • Paying you in general

Nobody gives a shit what they think about your aesthetic choices.

Let’s talk affordability. That is also highly subjective. Two years ago, I couldn’t afford an unplanned pair of 30$ shoes. These days with my improved credit lines, I can usually work it out to spend more. Do you.

Let’s get our mall goth on. I suggest HIGHLY following me on Pinterest. I am putting together a LOT of idea boards. I will mark stuff that is expensive to me in the fantasy boards. Full disclosure, some of the links I get a tenth of a penny if you click em.

 

 

Wardrobe and stretchiness.

This upcoming move has given me the nudge I needed to really get to work on redoing my wardrobe.

As an aging Goth, while my heart yearns for the fanciest of frills and tight lacing and leather and whatnot, reality is I don’t really have the means for that. Okay hold up.

Let me say something about Goth and other subcultures that irritates the shit out of me. The insistence that you cannot be a real *enter subculture here* unless you DIY or dress just so you are a poseur. Can we be real? Regardless of age, the fact is not all of us have the skill to DIY it all. DIY can be more expensive in terms of sourcing materials, skill and time than just buying a thing.

I REALLY wish we could leave that narrative behind. The whole debate has been around for so long and frankly I find it ableist and boring.

ANTEEWAY.

Aging Goth-righty right.

My aesthetic is moving towards all things layered and comfy. Some Femme Goth Prince Nightmare fuel. I want floaty, witchy, stretchy, chunky boots everything. If money and size were not a thing (I’ll put a pinboard at the bottom) I would be a walking Killstar ad. There would be a lot of weird indie designer stuff, lots of one of a kinds. Handmade.

That said, I’ll do what I do best. Rebuild from cheap basics. (Affiliate links ahoy)

Some basics to build on. I have at least four skater skirts of varying length. I have them from mini to midi and they are a staple in my wardrobe. The secret to buying them online is always, ALWAYS look at the measuring chart AND read the reviews. Even if folks aren’t your size, you can extrapolate. So if a person says they usually wear an XXS and the size M was too tight to go over their hips, you know if you’re a size M you should size way up or get another skirt. I love them tucked in, with cardigans, with boots, with mary janes, thigh high socks, crop tops. LOVE THEM. If you get one that’s too short, layer it up.

Next thing. Y’all I have been singing praises about fold over waist skirts for like ten years. Wheelchair using babes or folks with any type of neuropathy or other thing that might make you sensitive to a tight waistband, GET ON THIS. Because the waist folds rather than cinches, you can wear them and not worry about them cutting in. You can get them in a million colors, varying lengths. I don’t recommend paying more than 20$ MAX because the waist will stretch out over time but honestly, a super versatile staple and I personally have been wearing them forever. Also great for layering. Fat babes, especially if you have a big belly these are fantastic. Wear them on your belly, below your belly, pulled up to your tits. They are just that comfy.

For basic tops, I’m a ride or die plain tee or tank kinda person. Although, I am getting into wanting to try some tops with like peephole backs and straps and shit. I buy packs of ribbed tanks, I like camisoles. Mostly I don’t want my titties bedazzled.

In terms of my wardrobe, I’m moving towards all stretch except a couple of pairs of things. I am finally starting to adapt and learn how to dress for physical problems I have and to not only wear shit I like but accommodate what my body needs. I’ve been working a lot on my ableism towards myself and my body and I think I’m doing okay.

I just don’t physically tolerate a lot of stuff and working with it sometimes makes me annoyed. My goal with my wardrobe as I’m an redoing it is as follows:

  • My clothes should be able to fit me and still look the way I want +/- 15 or so pounds or whatever bloating I happen to be doing.
  • I want soft textiles.
  • I want variety.
  • I want some fuckin prints.

Like, y’all. I have been working really hard on confronting my own ableism towards myself and this is a pretty big step for me. My body needs some stuff and I’m working on providing it.

As I’m looking at redoing my wardrobe my focus is a lot on boots, leggings, interesting cardigans and layrable things. My style is very much settling on going between anime villain, to Femme Goth Office drag to how I really wanted to dress in the 90s.

The other thing factoring in is storage. We’re moving to a very small place so I want stuff I can fold rather than hang and have it not be a problem.

I’ll keep y’all posted.

Below find my pinboard with ideas, from lots of places. I’ll be adding to it.

 

 

Goth Thoughts- Anime villain Edition

Hello my loves.

Let’s talk lewks. Lately a large part of my aesthetic is looking like a King Queerdo Chubby Anime Villain.

Let’s talk about when you find a pair of awesome boots and ways to style it. Our theme today is chunky anime villain.

The boots (I am obsessed with these and yes I know they are likely a Puma Fenty knockoff but I ain’t got Fenty cash. Also all links are in fact amazon affiliate links, Auntie needs coins).

boot

[image description: black round toe thich high boots. They lace up the front with a few straps around the legs]

I dunno about y’all but, I so rarely get to buy really great shoes I tend to think about styling first before purchase. I’ve had my eye on these beauties since someone linked them to me. I just love them. The round toe, the straps. Everything.

So let’s talk styling em.

For winter/fall I’m looking at layers. First layer, leggings.

Let’s look at some of my personal choices.

These Spanx moto faux leather leggings are expensive as fuck but I LOVE the moto detail.

motolegging

[image description: a thin white person in white sneakers, black fake leather leggings with motorcycle themed details]

I mean, the boot goes over the knee and on my big fat ham would highlight that moto detail beautifully. I am a HUGE fan of faux leather leggings. Even with a smooth leather OTK boot for that full leather leg look. If moto isn’t your steez, have a look at these, these and these. The last pair are plus size up to a 24, unlike other leggings faux leather leggings sizing is a bit more difficult to fudge so if you are larger than a 24 on the bottom, you might want to find some that at least go to a 26 for a comfy fit. Pro tip for keeping faux leather leggings nicer for longer. Instead of hand washing or putting in the machine, hand clean any smelly parts and lay flat to dry.

If you aren’t ready for faux leather full leg. Try out some cute leggings detailing. I LOVE the bit of skin on these lattice work leggings. The ripped legging can be great, these you can wear a solid color pair of tights underneath or fishnets and have that pop detail and it is super cute. These faux leather inset leggings are great. I love the shape of the faux leather on them. Very understated sexy.

For a slightly more visually stimulating villainy look, I love the idea of these jacquard look leggings. Or go with a great print for less villainy. I’m a HUGE fan of Viv collection leggings, they are super soft and come in a very good variety of sizes and the prints y’all…the prints are awesome.

Other bottoms options.

I love a plain midi skirt over some tall boots and tights. I’ve had TONS of this style and they are super comfy. Best thing is as far as sizing goes, you can easily put your belly into one and wear it even if it is “too small”. The knit stretches, you could even wear it under your belly. Wheelie babes or babes who don’t like to or can’t wear binding waistbands, buy a shitload of these. I highly recommend this style of skirt and you can find them in lengths from mini to maxi.

I’m also a big fan of a big tall boot and a skater skirt. I love them and at this point you can get them in plain colors like this, mermaid prints like this (I have one in black and it is my fave skirt). For a slightly longer length, I mean y’all. Look at these right here. And always ALWAYS check the descriptions for sizing. Pro tip, if you are shopping from Asian sellers on Amazon, go for an elastic waist over a zipper. Dark floral? Yes please. There is something really great to me about funking up a very ladylike print with some edgy or clunky boots/shoes.

Now lets talk base layer tops. I wear a lot of tanks. I am not a fan of a fancy top and I do like to layer. Ones like these, and these. I’m starting to like ones with a little fancy detail like this strappy cami. I think the ones with the strappy front details are great for folks with boobs who want to show some skin but not be all like, titties all the way out. It is a good mid point.

I’m also a HUGE lover of a nice fitted tee. I prefer V necks and like the plain tanks, you can literally buy these anywhere in most sizes for good prices. Target, walmart, Old Navy (they make some of my favorites).

For the villainy look, the next thing I like are cardigans. Usually asymmetrical hem type. I LOVE this one. I like them long for that whole layered effect.  This type of longer pixie hem cardigan are fairly ubiquitous so you can find them in your size/color preferences pretty much all over the internet. Pro tip for busty people, to help keep your cardigan from just framing your boobs, wear a base layer with some texture to sort of help the cardi cling.

If you run warm or your base layer is long sleeve, there are sleeveless options that are great as well. The other thing is the sleeveless versions move between seasons really well depending on how you layer them.

Feeling extra fancy and dramatic? A poncho or cape can be magnificent. This one is expensive af but so pretty and probably feels super soft. Look at this cape, it has a hood and it is pretty awesome. For a lighter but still extra dramatic look, check out this here thingy. I mean COME ON. SO extra and so great.

I mean, life is hard. Be extra.

You can accessorive with jewelry or scarves. I’ve been experimenting with scarves a bit and you can pull in some dark mori influence there. Soften it up with some chiffon or lace. Butch it up with some tough accessories.

What else is on my fashion brain?

I want one of each of these dresses from Witch World Wide.  Velvet babydoll dresses bring back the FONDEST fashion memories for me.

So there you have it. Options for looking Villainous and awesome on a budget.

Next time we fashion, I think I’m going to talk some about ways to find stuff to fit your body and ways around bullshit sizing and tips on buying online.

Wigs, Wigs n Wigs- Balling on a budget

Inspired by a friend in need of info, I’m going to talk about having a bomb ass wig game on a budget.

First, let’s dispell some stuff.

  1. Anything but human hair is terrible. Nah. Matter of fact, if you don’t have a lot of money, or if you don’t want to commit the time to taking care of two full heads of hair, synthetic is pretty great these days.
  2. A good wig is expensive. Nah. I have some that I paid a lot for and they suck.
  3. Your wig must always look naturally laid. Nah. Screw realness.

The thing is, while yes, it can be nice to have those baby hairs laid and to look like you grew that 31″ Brazilian water wave out of your head, that’s not realistic for a lot of us so nah.

Now before picking wigs, lets talk about some terms you’ll see. Lace front usually indicates that the lace goes from ear to ear usually. With space to change the part. Inside the wig you’ll see the lace, and then the cap where the wefts of hair are sewn.

Looking at the size of your lace in your lace front unit, where there’s lace you can make a part. If you are a brown person, you’re probably going to have to use some brown powder on the lace to match it to your skin tone.

A full lace wig, will not have that kind of lattice looking inside. The full cap is made of lace so you can part it out where ever you like.

Full lace will cost more and really is a matter of personal preference, comfort, how much cash you have.

Now, let’s talk about some basic stuff.

How do you pick a wig?

My method is pretty simple, I will cobble together key words for what I’m looking for, get to google and go. Once I find some styles I like I will jot down the name of the wig and google that specifically to compare prices.

Let’s do it together. Click here. That search is for long bob wig. Go ahead and click on the Sams Beauty link. Or click here.

Now this isn’t a full wig and not what we’re looking for, but don’t lose hope. Look on the top of that page and hover on wigs, then click on synthetic hair. SO MANY CHOICES.

Very overwhelming I know.

Let’s say, we’re looking for a medium length wavy wig. On the left, click deep wave, medium wave then scroll down and click the option for medium length.

Click on the first wig, FREETRESS EQUAL SYNTHETIC HAIR WIG INVISIBLE L PART CHASTY. If you scroll down on the page, you’ll see a lot of information, some photos and on a good search a review video or two. Now, we’ll pretend this is now the wig you gotdang want.

Google the whole name of the wig and check out your price options. Do you have Prime? Amazon can get it to you like PEW PEW PEW. Oh looky here, Hairsisters has it on sale.

We’ll pretend you bought the wig from Amazon. What else should you buy to get started?

And yes, y’all know I’m trying to save to move so every coin counts and amazon links are affiliate links.

You are gonna need some wig caps. If this is your first wig I suggest snagging a few different styles to see what suits your tastes.

This multi pack has two standard pantyhose material caps and one mesh cap. I think it would be a great part of a starter wig order. If you live somewhere hot, tend to be hot in the skull area etc, these are a great option for some extra cooling and airflow.

My personal favorite brand of caps are these. I don’t know if they are really better for your hair but I found they fit over my head and hair nice and snug and hold their shape and stretch well.

In terms of caps, your comfort is king. I prefer a thicker cap or I will wear two. I can’t cornrow so getting my wigs laid can be a challenge because I wear little struggle braids under my wigs.

You can also pick up wig caps at lots of drug stores and beauty supply stores. I usually buy 3-5 packs of them at a time.

Next thing is a little pricy but, booboo it will save your edges. A wig slip.  They are velvety bands you place over the edge of your wig cap. They are amazing. Not only will your wig be more secure, you won’t have to actually attach it to your real hair. Thus saving your edges from traction alopecia and stress.

Also if you have a head that doesn’t quite fit a wig cap right, a bit too big or small, BOOM yo wig slip got you boo. I have about five I rotate and I hand wash them.

What else? Make sure you have styling tools that are appropriate for the hair. If you buy a curly wig, don’t try to style it with a paddle brush.

Make sure you comb or brush out your wig after wearing. Wigs will often tangle up at the nape of the neck and it is just a thing that happens. Carry a wide toothed comb with you or deal.

Before wearing your wig out, play with it. Figure out what you want to do with the hairline, if you want to try wearing it in a ponytail. You know it is fun, you can play around. Or if you don’t feel like it, wear it right out of the box.

Some stuff I’d avoid.

Don’t believe the hype about only buying human hair wigs. Real talk, I personally prefer synthetic because, I just don’t have the energy to take care of a whole extra head of hair.

Your wigs aren’t bad and you aren’t gross if your wigs aren’t layed for the gods, if you don’t do baby hairs, if you don’t customize your wig. Wear it how it works for you boo.

You can buy a cheap wig and rock the fuck out of it if you wanna.

You can buy a cheap wig to practice wearing and caring for a wig.

Fuck “realness”. Seriously.

If someone really believes you went from a pixie cut to a booty length red magnificence over night, they probably also believe that if you wear blue lipstick your lips are really blue. Also, who cares? WHO CARES? Random folks opinions about whether or not your hair is “yours” don’t matter unless they are in a direct position of authority over you.

Next time we talk wigs, I’ll talk about some of the reasons to try wigs if you like.

Boots N Wishes

Hi y’all.

The last two weeks of my life have been really awful. My partner is really sick and has been debilitated and unable to leave the house. We’ve been to the ER twice and then I got sick too.

This particular cycle of my life has meant a lot of shit is just not going my way and yeah it is hard.

SO let’s fashion. I have not been able to replace anymore of my wardrobe due to cost of being alive increasing and my fundraiser stalling so, I’ll show y’all what I’m into. This is the boot edition.

And yes there will be ALL the affiliate links because, Babby needs side hustle cash. So let’s get started.

Being that I can’t really wear heels anymore and my absolute love of ankle boots let’s look at some.

First up, let’s talk about this here bootie.

91DQpkM39VL._UY695_

[image description: black platform ankle boot with black laces]

This is the Demonia Women’s Scene-50 Ankle Boot. I LOVE this boot so much. Even though we can’t totally afford it, partner agreed that for our anniversary next month I want these. The thing about Demonia is that when you get a good Demonia shoe it will last for years. They aren’t as hellish to break in as Docs but they are also a tad overpriced. I’ll sacrifice for these beauties.

Next up, in my evolution to being a High Femme Alien Anime Villain Queen Prince. I need a boot like this. Demonia Women’s Emily-375 Over the Knee Boot. I can’t find a big photo so just click on the platform OTK gloriousness. I legit love accentuating the chunk of my thighs with over the knee and thigh high anything. THese are glorious. Imagine them with a pleather legging for that whole leather leg look…UNF YASSS.

Once upon a time I had many many pairs of boots and when I moved I had to sell or get rid of 90% of them. I’m hoping that after we move I can resume collecting because I really do love boots.

Speaking of OTK boots. These are so cute the shiny toe detail is just adorable LFL by Lust for Life Women’s L-Craft Winter Boot. 

I spotted these weird little ankle boots the other day and I am just utterly charmed by them. Cunzhai Women’s Unique Handmade Leather Casual Travel Soft Bottom Boot. I can picture styling them with some tights, cute tall socks and a skater skirt or other short dress. And the shape of the sole is also interesting and a detail I love.

One of the reasons I love boots so much, especially big chunky stompy boots is that it is so easy to gender play in them. I love playing on that 90s influenced bad bitch femme type girl. For me, before I learned about and started identifying with being non binary/genderqueer, it was how I played around with gender presentation.

I think for a lot of us who have had a weird gender journey, playing with things like combat boots and frilly dresses together. For folks all along the gender spectrum, these are really great ways to maybe incorporate gender identity in ways that feel pretty safe.

I remember in the late 90s (remember y’all yer fave Auntie is old af) I bought these poop brown vintage mens slacks. They looked very much like this pair of pants. I paired them with an ivory colored tucked in. I wore it with the first brown nude bra I ever owned, it was satin. No camisole. Open damn near to the navel.

I wore the outfit with some super clunky bump toe platform Oxfords, a slick, high faux ponytail, a vicious cat eye and a lot of glitter.

I felt like the most beautiful boy in the world.

That was around the time I started thinking about gender less in terms of was I boy or girl and more in terms of just being Femme. That is the great thing about style and fashion.

There is so much space inside of the concept of style to explore your gender feelings. Once you step outside of the marketed bullshit and body shaming and just do you, shit is freeing as hell.

Now how about a few links to non boots?

Iron Fist is KILLING me right now. This dress is screaming my name. I’d pair it with a big pixie hem cardigan I have and some big stompy boots. This skirt is just gorgeous.

My personal holy grail brand is Killstar. Their knits SLAY me. Like look at this sweater I love it. I am so into the sweater and leggings and boots for winter. I mean, look at this shit right here.

So there’s yer fashions for the day.

I encourage y’all who haven’t thought about gender expression to think about it some. Maybe do some exploring of your own. Remember folks, it’s not what is in your pants but in your brains.

 

Goth Fantasist- Dream Summer Femme Edition

Welcome back my darling loves.

I decided to change up how I do these posts and today, we’re going to talk the Femme Goth Fahion I would buy right now.

A lot of what is on the pinboard that goes with this post are what I call Gothables. Stuff that is accessible to lots of us economically and size wise. They are not the fanciest of Goth attire but, they are things that are easily gothed up or down. I also mixed in some total Alt/Goth  stuff that I can’t buy because shit doesn’t come in sizes over like an 8. There are shoes, a mix of higher end and Kmart retailers.

And let’s talk about retailers.

Real. Talk.

I do not do a lot of “ethical” shopping. I get in where I fit in and that’s a decision I’ve made because I don’t really ascribe to minimalism based on for me, I don’t have access to easy laundry facilities. I cannot be washing the same goddamn pair of pants by hand and waiting for them to maybe dry in my damp ass apartment.

Also, for real. If I could afford to save for you know, 6 months to buy one awesome piece and have it be workable I would try but I can’t. So yes, you will see problematic retailers featured here and yes I know they are terrible so please save any lectures about it.

Now, let’s talk what I mean when I say Gothable.

Let’s say that you are an Old Office Goth like me and you don’t have the wardrobe or mad DIY skills that say, Aunt Jillian has. Or maybe where you work is okay with some weird but not ALL the weird. So, my method is that I buy pieces in black or some prints (y’all don’t even understand the level of fool I am for a big ole gaudy ass floral) and sometimes I goth it up with my choice of hair styles, jewelry, etc.

Also, jewelry is a GREAT way to express some Gothness in as low key a way as you can in order to be able to navigate the life you live without totally sacrificing your style.

I’m a big fan of mixing the practical with the silly. I tend to have to buy shoes for practicality. I buy outerwear for practicality even though, I want fantastical. I like to put color in my wardrobe in my socks or tights. Sometimes I’ll wear a peekaboo of bright red under a cardigan.

Now let’s talk about some Gender related feelings.

In terms of how I experience and express my genders, I’ve just accepted that I’ll be Femme whether I feel more masculine or feminine.

For me Masculine looks like/feels like, skinny jeans, boots, weird wizardy cardigans or ninja cardigans. In my head I like the idea of those poopy butt drop crotch leggings/joggers but I feel like in reality I would hate them. If I’m gonna get chub rub, I better have a dress on because chub rub AND pants is fucking bullshit.

My masculine aesthetics tend to lean more towards fancy dressed masc. Tuxedos, suits.

The main reason I present Femme as I do is basically I really fucking hate pants. I. Hate. Pants.

I also think a lot of menswear is just not pretty or as interesting to me as ladywear.

So.

Yanno.

I’m just gonna be a chunky ass Old Goth Weirdo and it is good.

What else?

Let’s talk aesthetics.

Mine tend to go all over the place.

At the end of Winter I was really feeling my layers. I am FINALLY starting to figure out what fabrics I like together, how much layering I like. That was great.

Right now I’m still in the confused, do I let my bare legs and leg fur fly? It is cold AF in the morning. I have switched back to my fleece coat BUT, it is not water resistant at all and whatnot.

Soon I’m going to talk about thrifting and how getting my groove back to just -know- that a thing will work. When I was fatter I felt like this was my super power and it was so empowering for me. Losing the ability was a huge blow to my self esteem.

SO what am I into right now?

Kimonos *GAG that anyone calls these robes/cardis that*. I like em sheer, floral prints etc. ALL THE DRESSES!!! ALL OF THEM. All shapes, skater dresses, tunics, pixie hems YASSSSSSSSSSSSS LORD!

Skirts. YES all of them also.

I am actually good at layering for warmer Seattle weather. You’ll frequently find me in skirt or dress with a cardigan and a hoody available to put on. I’m still obsessed with galaxy print everything.

For shoes, y’all. It has been decided by my feet that I absolutely CANNOT wear totally flat shoes anymore. I have a pair of Croc ballet flats that were my go to never fail shoes.

Now I need some platform or other height so…yeah.

I’m super into working out some Dark Mori influenced outfits and looking at wearing more jewelry again.

So there you have it.

See below for a (still growing) pinboard of my current wardrobe fantasy items. You’ll find some plus size stuff, shoes, accessories, LOTS of femme clothes. Feel free to make your own and drop a link to it.

Stuff I’m Lowkey obsessed with.

Y’all, I HAVE to share because I cannot make myself stop.

I’m going to throw links at y’all of stuff I’m pretty obsessed with as in, if money weren’t no thang….you know.

First thing. I am obsessed with Chrome bags. I have one, my partner has one. I LOVE them. They are made for bike messengers and if you don’t drive, have to be out in weather and pack a lot of crap y’all. I already have a Citizen. It is a big ass bag. Lots of capacity and I retired from carrying it daily only because it is big and my morning buses tend to be butts to nuts standing room only. And I have manners. I do want to be able to carry my crochet projects and as I was looking at tote bags, they came out with the Welterweight mini Metro*.  Y’AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL….I want it so bad. I do not have 140$ bag money right now, but I want it. Y’all know Auntie hates paying retail, but totally worth it.

What else?

As we get towards the idea of better weather, I want sandals? I dunno. I do want wedges and platforms. I’m feeling like full 90s clunky kinda ugly platform.

I was giggling at myself the other day, on nice days I tend to dress the way I wanted to dress when I was like 19 and it just makes me laugh. Apparently I really just want to clomp around in warm weather with my furry legs out and with my hair in braids giving no fucks.

I’m really bad at hair y’all. I lack the Black Folx braiding magic and really REALLY want to give myself Goddess Locs. I have been watching Jazz Nicole’s videos constantly and I bought a latch hook. I think I’m ready to practice doing myself some.

If you are not good at these things like me, go check out her feed.

How about some shit I’m annoyed at?

I am so done with make up brands URBAN DECAY HI, using Black folks but not making their “tributes” accessible. Look here:

Once upon a time I loved UD. That said, they ain’t shit for this. I mean, POC have the cash to spend and so many of these brands just don’t bother to really try. Yes, like Nyx they’ll come out with the colors, but I can’t go to ULTA and buy them. Sephora? Yep Black Beauty folks on youtube will squee about that new Laura Mercier darker powder, but, we can’t go to the store to buy it.

Now y’all see why I’ll never be a famous beauty blogger.

When it comes to make up, y’all. I LOVE it. But, I also hate it. I hate that for instance I think Kat Von D makes gorgeous make up. I don’t like that just like every other damn brand, you’d be hard pressed to find someone darker than beige even in spots where it’d make sense. SUCH AS, foundation area. Why not have any more models? You ColourPop I remember this shit.

I mean everybody loves some melanin, unless it’s time to use a dark model right?

Pardon my mood swing. I am still really sick and I’m cranky as fuck.

Also, I resent that in trying to, you know get my fucking glam on, I have to navigate this bullshit.

This is also on my mind because I was given an unwanted lecture about voting with my wallet and ethical shopping. For me, if I shopped to match my actual ethics I’d not be able to buy anything down to my draws and I’m just not about that life.

If you can and want to vote with your wallet? Do you Boo.

Okay good lord.

That is not quite where I was tryin to go but here we are.

Okay, back to stuff I keep thinking about.

Goddess Locs be damned, the sun is coming out and I really -really- want to have red hair again. I’m talking I want to strip the fuck out of my hair with a product like this and have it be bright red. Ahem. This is why I wear wigs and protective style. Once upon a time, I would bleach the hot fuck out of my hair anytime and my hair suffered.

I might be fantasizing about my big red fro, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing because my hair is doing quite well and I decided I’m gonna try to grow it to waist length.

I’ll have a hair update after this weekend. I had a major whoopsy and I’m gonna document me fixing it.

I didn’t fuck up super bad, but my scalp is mad and I did it to my damn self.

OH also soon I’m going to have a write up of using a homemade toner, some quickie reviews and maybe some dedicated posts to books and whatnots.

Thanks for visiting y’all!

OH before I forget.

As usual any links marked * you can get money back from ebates. Also on that side hustle tip, I added a whole new section of sparkly, holo, silly handbags and wallets on my Amazon shop because I love them and can’t have them all. Check it here.I’ll write about my bag fetish at another time.

 

 

 

 

IT’S MY BIRFDAY!

Er it was my birthday yesterday.

I’m officially 40 y’all.

If you’d like to read a fbomb laden essay about how I feel about turning 40 click here.

So let’s talk about some shit I don’t like.

It appears my fave milky nude, sheer lipgloss has been discontinued. Maybelline Baby Lips Gloss in Taupe With me. I’m on my last tube. It is a really nice pinky super shiny gloss that was cheap and that I love. It was a cross between the Make up Forever Plexigloss in Sweet Pink and the Mac Nicki Minaj lipglass with a bit of brown and a touch less color. There is something about a milky texture to a lipgloss that I just love.

Other shit I don’t like. I had to shave my armpits (I hate shaving) because I had a rash under lefty and righty was feelin weird. Shaved, treated the skin and things got a bit worse. Come to realize, the pit stick I’ve been using has chamomile in it and guess what I’m allergic to? Yes Petunia I am allergic to chamomile….:( so now I’m vaguely funky because I’m using a natural no baking soda deo that can only do so much while my armpits heal.

Now how about stuff I do like?

Um, so my hair is pink right now. I’m SO into this wig. I feel so cute and Pastel Goth like.

pinkhairs

[image description: Black femme with long pink hair wearing glasses.

This is the FreeTress Equal Delux Lace Front Wig – EVLYN. Y’all. This wig is so great. Quick report, it is thick. The color is gorgeous. Very comfortable. If you want to play with color and like wearing silky straight hair, GET ON THIS y’all.

The next great thing happening. For my birthday I side hustled myself enough money to buy the cutest pair of platform booties on ebay.

boot

[image of a black platform ankle boot]

I got these in my usual size 7. Check them out here. These are fantastic. They are super lightweight, lined in plush leopard print and actually kept my feet warm when it was snowing a little. The upper is super flexible so if you have a bigger ankle they would be easily adjustable. I will say these are actually on par with the boots I got from designer brand YRU a couple of years ago. And I will say the construction is superior. I’ve worn these probably five or six times in snow and rain and they are solid. I wore my YRU platforms three times and the platforms separated from the boot.

What else am I loving? With the warmer weather, I’ve FINALLY gotten to break out some of my dresses. I picked up this little beauty while it was on sale a couple of months ago. I paired it with black tights, a black cardi, and my trusty old docs. Super cute on. No stretch though and my XL strains over my boobs. I’ve got my eye on this beauty right here. I really love this one too.

My current aesthetics as the weather inches towards bare leg season is a little 90s flavored Femme Old Goth. See here:

ootd

[image description: Black Femme wearing from the feet up, black platform ankle boots, black skirt, burgundy sweater with a black tank top underneath]

This year all I want are cute dresses and lots of skater skirts to be honest. Let me show y’all some other things I’m obsessed with.

The Sully Dress. Y’all. I want one so bad. Jersey fabric, I love that cut and style. I could wear it multi season. UNF I NEEDS IT.

I really want to try out some elastic harness things like this. I am intrigued because I have yet to see someone with a body type similar to mine wear one. I love the leather ones better but, leather is expensive and I want to try it out before I commit to an investment piece.

I also find myself in need of more skater skirts.

Right now I have my eye on a few on Amazon. This one for days when I want a nice slightly longer one. Pro tip, for stuff like this from Amazon check the reviews, especially ones with photos.

I’ve also got plans on attaining MORE GALAXY PRINT. Why? Cause I friggin love it. I LOVE this skirt, but that will absolutely not fit me. Well the max stretched measurement would work but only if I already pooped that day, was not bloated at all and had on mega shapewear.

I like to pair my skater skirts with my nerdy tshirts. My favorite of that type of outfit I don’t have a photo of but I paired a Deadpool tee with a floofy circle skirt and my tall docs. I was fucking adorable.

Now that I am officially an Elder Goth, can I tell y’all it would be lit if neither money nor time was an object. Check my pinboard of dream Old Goth fashions.

What else?

I’m considering getting my septum pierced because I want an opal clicker on my face. I’ve also resumed using my pinterest tattoo reference board. I had sort of given up on my body mod dreams because money but I have a little stash of cash I put money in monthly that is specifically for mods so maybe?

Content warning for some creepy stuff, I will be adding to it soon.

That’s all for right now loves.

Regular posting will resume soon I promise.

I love y’all!

Be good!

 

 

 

 

 

The time Betsy Johnson Broke My Heart

A site I like to window shop at sometimes sent me an email about a bunch of Betsy Johnson stuff on sale.

Y’all don’t know this, but Betsy Johnson was the first designer I loved. When I was a lil post teenage potato, the only designer that I ever thought, holy fuck I want to wear that was Betsy.

Back in the 90s, my style was absolutely done what I gotta do with thrift store and hand me downs. Not because it was fashionable, but I was poor and chubby. And then in some magazine I saw Betsy Johnson clothes. It became my big secret dream to have one. Even more than the pretty formal dresses that never fit me, more than the Goth wear I saw in the Retail Slut catalogs I got.

A dress similar to this one was my dream.

My style icons were Grace Jones, Courtney Love, Stevie Nicks, the goth and punk girls I saw randomly. I wanted to wear pleated school girl skirts and boots, I wanted to wear big chunky ass shoes and slip dresses and y’all get it.

I had this vision of Bad Bitch Femme. Glitter and fucked up nails and whatnot.

However, I was not a thin girl. Even at my lowest weights, I’ve always still been a thick girl. Back then, after having a little money for mall clothes, I remember leaving in tears because I couldn’t find things I liked that fit my body. I remember very vividly being in a dressing room in the Limited maybe and trying not to cry and my Mom being impatient because I wouldn’t come out.

So I made it work sort of. I remember convincing myself that well fuck mall clothes anyway and that I just didn’t have the body to wear things I actually liked. And then I started to fake it.

I remember I had this ridiculous outfit, a pair of poop brown mens 70s slacks that I paired with a cream colored long sleeve thermal, boots and a big old fake high long ponytail. I paired it with a super glossy glittery lip and a big ole stripe of liner and it was one of the first times I was like, I am fine as fuck.

My next foray into dressing just how I wanted to was when I went to my first Pride. I want to say it was maybe 1999? I dunno, I’m an old.

So I had thrifted what was probably part of a dance team outfit. It was a fuschia sequinned a line mini skirt with a little keyhole belly cut out and a black ribbon. I saw it buried in a bin at Value Village and fell in immediate love.

I wore it low on my hips with platform sandals and a strappy vintage camisole that was almost see thru. There was glitter on my face (I used to mix my own glittery face powder back in the day, SHUT UP IT WAS THE SHIT) and I had a pixie haircut and y’all, I went alone and it was when I found my bounce.

I did that thing where when I got to the parade, I invoked my runway hoeness and walked it the fuck out. Booty bouncing, titties out, shoulders back, feelin the FUCK out of myself. There was a drag queen handing out sunglasses and she stopped me, put some glitter cat eyes on my face and made me do my runway walk.

I wound up being friends with her but mostly what i remember is this drag queen and some cute gay boys yelling, “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK BITCH” and it was the first time in my young adult potato life, I really felt beautiful.

Now around that time I was saving money, all my change, any extra dollars because I wanted to go into the Betsy Johnson store and buy a dress. I got myself gussied up and went in and almost immediately realized that nothing would fit me aside from maybe some earrings or sunglasses or a purse.

I didn’t want a fucking purse.

I remember leaving (AH I was 21 by then) and going to sit in a bar by myself and feel like the grossest human to ever live.

Betsy Johnson just broke my lil heart. I was devastated. I’d worked so hard to save up about 300$ and I even had a plan to take myself out on a fancy date so I could wear whatever I bought.

Now I took that money and wound up in a Hot Topic, ostensibly to buy myself some band shirts or something and I discovered this long black beautiful Gothy dress. It was full length, had a chiffon cape thingy, the big sheer bell sleeves. Sort of this style, but not velvet. The ubiquitous Goth thing.

I found my thing.

I found the thing that opened up fashion to me in a while new way. I realized that my body was not at fault for some stuff not fitting me. That my inability to wear Betsy or shop at 5-7-9 or whatever.

My big point here is this.

Your body is not wrong.

You have to figure out what you’re working with and work with it. Figure it out. The thing is, there’s something like THE big deal thing, you just have to find it.

That said, sometimes you’re still gonna mourn the perfect thing. It’s okay. It happens to all of us.

This post brought to you by this most perfect dress that would in no universe fit my ass.

picture-of-elegance-party-dress_black-multi

Someone please buy that damn dress and then get your photo taken and show me because I think it is so damn beautiful. Betsy, you hurt my feelings again.

 

Stuff what I’m thinkin about.

My transition to a daytime worker person is still ongoing. Today for the first time in months I’m wearing a dress and regular (non fleece) tights. I feel very cute.

What flavor of cute though?

I’m not spending much money on new stuff so I’m going to be wearing a lot of what I already have. I’ve been going through my clothes over the last few months and decided to hang on to some specific things.

That said, I am absolutely vibrating with want.

I’m very into witchy, Loli, Mori influenced stuff right now as well as what I call Gothables from big box stores. Essentially I want to look like a Bad Witch Fairy Anime Villain 90% of the time. Alternately i want to be a cute evil babydoll person. Weird art. I want to feel like weird cute and creepy art.

I’m super into all things skater dress and skirt. I’ve been buying a new dress once every few months because I realized that I have woefully few dresses that fit me anymore.

I think I’ve mentioned it already, but for real this whole Trumpy shit is just making me weird. And yes, let’s quote the Joker and say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger or whatever y’all know.

I feel like I’ve tried to kind of tame or shake the feeling. I get these ideas in my head and I’m like, yeah wor probably wouldn’t trip but no…can I not?

I just want to cover myself in magical tattoos of sigils and protection words and wear make up that makes people not want to sit by me on the bus and be fabulous and sparkly so at least one thing is nice every day.

High Scary Femme as radical survival.

Let’s be real, I do want to grow up to be terrifying and glam as fuck as an old heavily modded person of femmeness that said- y’all I ain’t got let’s be as freaky AF money.

I DIGRESS.

Anteeeway.

Let me show y’all a few things I’ve purchased in the last five months or so that I love.

The surprisingly great item of the month is this (affiliate links ahead) top from Amazon. Y’all, this is the nicest cheap shirt I’ve gotten from Amazon in a while. For reference I usually wear a 14-16 in tops and have some tig ole biddies. I bought this in black in an XL. The fit is a wee bit weird across the shoulders but once it stretched a bit it was fine. I wouldn’t wear it as a dress but wore it with faux leather leggings and boots and felt cute and floaty AF. Not the greatest but very workable. I would not suggest it for anyone with bigger boobs than mine (very full DD) but if you are smaller busted but wear say 16-18 you should be good. And these are fairly thin so wear a cami underneath.

I picked up one of these dresses off of Wish for a dollar. I got the largest size and the material is weird, but not bad. Feels cute, fits nicely, although, anyone bustier than me no son. There is no stretch there.

To see some of what I’m into fashion wise, keep your eyes on this here pinboard. Some of these are shop style links some not.