Wardrobe and stretchiness.

This upcoming move has given me the nudge I needed to really get to work on redoing my wardrobe.

As an aging Goth, while my heart yearns for the fanciest of frills and tight lacing and leather and whatnot, reality is I don’t really have the means for that. Okay hold up.

Let me say something about Goth and other subcultures that irritates the shit out of me. The insistence that you cannot be a real *enter subculture here* unless you DIY or dress just so you are a poseur. Can we be real? Regardless of age, the fact is not all of us have the skill to DIY it all. DIY can be more expensive in terms of sourcing materials, skill and time than just buying a thing.

I REALLY wish we could leave that narrative behind. The whole debate has been around for so long and frankly I find it ableist and boring.

ANTEEWAY.

Aging Goth-righty right.

My aesthetic is moving towards all things layered and comfy. Some Femme Goth Prince Nightmare fuel. I want floaty, witchy, stretchy, chunky boots everything. If money and size were not a thing (I’ll put a pinboard at the bottom) I would be a walking Killstar ad. There would be a lot of weird indie designer stuff, lots of one of a kinds. Handmade.

That said, I’ll do what I do best. Rebuild from cheap basics. (Affiliate links ahoy)

Some basics to build on. I have at least four skater skirts of varying length. I have them from mini to midi and they are a staple in my wardrobe. The secret to buying them online is always, ALWAYS look at the measuring chart AND read the reviews. Even if folks aren’t your size, you can extrapolate. So if a person says they usually wear an XXS and the size M was too tight to go over their hips, you know if you’re a size M you should size way up or get another skirt. I love them tucked in, with cardigans, with boots, with mary janes, thigh high socks, crop tops. LOVE THEM. If you get one that’s too short, layer it up.

Next thing. Y’all I have been singing praises about fold over waist skirts for like ten years. Wheelchair using babes or folks with any type of neuropathy or other thing that might make you sensitive to a tight waistband, GET ON THIS. Because the waist folds rather than cinches, you can wear them and not worry about them cutting in. You can get them in a million colors, varying lengths. I don’t recommend paying more than 20$ MAX because the waist will stretch out over time but honestly, a super versatile staple and I personally have been wearing them forever. Also great for layering. Fat babes, especially if you have a big belly these are fantastic. Wear them on your belly, below your belly, pulled up to your tits. They are just that comfy.

For basic tops, I’m a ride or die plain tee or tank kinda person. Although, I am getting into wanting to try some tops with like peephole backs and straps and shit. I buy packs of ribbed tanks, I like camisoles. Mostly I don’t want my titties bedazzled.

In terms of my wardrobe, I’m moving towards all stretch except a couple of pairs of things. I am finally starting to adapt and learn how to dress for physical problems I have and to not only wear shit I like but accommodate what my body needs. I’ve been working a lot on my ableism towards myself and my body and I think I’m doing okay.

I just don’t physically tolerate a lot of stuff and working with it sometimes makes me annoyed. My goal with my wardrobe as I’m an redoing it is as follows:

  • My clothes should be able to fit me and still look the way I want +/- 15 or so pounds or whatever bloating I happen to be doing.
  • I want soft textiles.
  • I want variety.
  • I want some fuckin prints.

Like, y’all. I have been working really hard on confronting my own ableism towards myself and this is a pretty big step for me. My body needs some stuff and I’m working on providing it.

As I’m looking at redoing my wardrobe my focus is a lot on boots, leggings, interesting cardigans and layrable things. My style is very much settling on going between anime villain, to Femme Goth Office drag to how I really wanted to dress in the 90s.

The other thing factoring in is storage. We’re moving to a very small place so I want stuff I can fold rather than hang and have it not be a problem.

I’ll keep y’all posted.

Below find my pinboard with ideas, from lots of places. I’ll be adding to it.

 

 

Goth Thoughts- Anime villain Edition

Hello my loves.

Let’s talk lewks. Lately a large part of my aesthetic is looking like a King Queerdo Chubby Anime Villain.

Let’s talk about when you find a pair of awesome boots and ways to style it. Our theme today is chunky anime villain.

The boots (I am obsessed with these and yes I know they are likely a Puma Fenty knockoff but I ain’t got Fenty cash. Also all links are in fact amazon affiliate links, Auntie needs coins).

boot

[image description: black round toe thich high boots. They lace up the front with a few straps around the legs]

I dunno about y’all but, I so rarely get to buy really great shoes I tend to think about styling first before purchase. I’ve had my eye on these beauties since someone linked them to me. I just love them. The round toe, the straps. Everything.

So let’s talk styling em.

For winter/fall I’m looking at layers. First layer, leggings.

Let’s look at some of my personal choices.

These Spanx moto faux leather leggings are expensive as fuck but I LOVE the moto detail.

motolegging

[image description: a thin white person in white sneakers, black fake leather leggings with motorcycle themed details]

I mean, the boot goes over the knee and on my big fat ham would highlight that moto detail beautifully. I am a HUGE fan of faux leather leggings. Even with a smooth leather OTK boot for that full leather leg look. If moto isn’t your steez, have a look at these, these and these. The last pair are plus size up to a 24, unlike other leggings faux leather leggings sizing is a bit more difficult to fudge so if you are larger than a 24 on the bottom, you might want to find some that at least go to a 26 for a comfy fit. Pro tip for keeping faux leather leggings nicer for longer. Instead of hand washing or putting in the machine, hand clean any smelly parts and lay flat to dry.

If you aren’t ready for faux leather full leg. Try out some cute leggings detailing. I LOVE the bit of skin on these lattice work leggings. The ripped legging can be great, these you can wear a solid color pair of tights underneath or fishnets and have that pop detail and it is super cute. These faux leather inset leggings are great. I love the shape of the faux leather on them. Very understated sexy.

For a slightly more visually stimulating villainy look, I love the idea of these jacquard look leggings. Or go with a great print for less villainy. I’m a HUGE fan of Viv collection leggings, they are super soft and come in a very good variety of sizes and the prints y’all…the prints are awesome.

Other bottoms options.

I love a plain midi skirt over some tall boots and tights. I’ve had TONS of this style and they are super comfy. Best thing is as far as sizing goes, you can easily put your belly into one and wear it even if it is “too small”. The knit stretches, you could even wear it under your belly. Wheelie babes or babes who don’t like to or can’t wear binding waistbands, buy a shitload of these. I highly recommend this style of skirt and you can find them in lengths from mini to maxi.

I’m also a big fan of a big tall boot and a skater skirt. I love them and at this point you can get them in plain colors like this, mermaid prints like this (I have one in black and it is my fave skirt). For a slightly longer length, I mean y’all. Look at these right here. And always ALWAYS check the descriptions for sizing. Pro tip, if you are shopping from Asian sellers on Amazon, go for an elastic waist over a zipper. Dark floral? Yes please. There is something really great to me about funking up a very ladylike print with some edgy or clunky boots/shoes.

Now lets talk base layer tops. I wear a lot of tanks. I am not a fan of a fancy top and I do like to layer. Ones like these, and these. I’m starting to like ones with a little fancy detail like this strappy cami. I think the ones with the strappy front details are great for folks with boobs who want to show some skin but not be all like, titties all the way out. It is a good mid point.

I’m also a HUGE lover of a nice fitted tee. I prefer V necks and like the plain tanks, you can literally buy these anywhere in most sizes for good prices. Target, walmart, Old Navy (they make some of my favorites).

For the villainy look, the next thing I like are cardigans. Usually asymmetrical hem type. I LOVE this one. I like them long for that whole layered effect.  This type of longer pixie hem cardigan are fairly ubiquitous so you can find them in your size/color preferences pretty much all over the internet. Pro tip for busty people, to help keep your cardigan from just framing your boobs, wear a base layer with some texture to sort of help the cardi cling.

If you run warm or your base layer is long sleeve, there are sleeveless options that are great as well. The other thing is the sleeveless versions move between seasons really well depending on how you layer them.

Feeling extra fancy and dramatic? A poncho or cape can be magnificent. This one is expensive af but so pretty and probably feels super soft. Look at this cape, it has a hood and it is pretty awesome. For a lighter but still extra dramatic look, check out this here thingy. I mean COME ON. SO extra and so great.

I mean, life is hard. Be extra.

You can accessorive with jewelry or scarves. I’ve been experimenting with scarves a bit and you can pull in some dark mori influence there. Soften it up with some chiffon or lace. Butch it up with some tough accessories.

What else is on my fashion brain?

I want one of each of these dresses from Witch World Wide.  Velvet babydoll dresses bring back the FONDEST fashion memories for me.

So there you have it. Options for looking Villainous and awesome on a budget.

Next time we fashion, I think I’m going to talk some about ways to find stuff to fit your body and ways around bullshit sizing and tips on buying online.

Goth Fantasist- Dream Summer Femme Edition

Welcome back my darling loves.

I decided to change up how I do these posts and today, we’re going to talk the Femme Goth Fahion I would buy right now.

A lot of what is on the pinboard that goes with this post are what I call Gothables. Stuff that is accessible to lots of us economically and size wise. They are not the fanciest of Goth attire but, they are things that are easily gothed up or down. I also mixed in some total Alt/Goth  stuff that I can’t buy because shit doesn’t come in sizes over like an 8. There are shoes, a mix of higher end and Kmart retailers.

And let’s talk about retailers.

Real. Talk.

I do not do a lot of “ethical” shopping. I get in where I fit in and that’s a decision I’ve made because I don’t really ascribe to minimalism based on for me, I don’t have access to easy laundry facilities. I cannot be washing the same goddamn pair of pants by hand and waiting for them to maybe dry in my damp ass apartment.

Also, for real. If I could afford to save for you know, 6 months to buy one awesome piece and have it be workable I would try but I can’t. So yes, you will see problematic retailers featured here and yes I know they are terrible so please save any lectures about it.

Now, let’s talk what I mean when I say Gothable.

Let’s say that you are an Old Office Goth like me and you don’t have the wardrobe or mad DIY skills that say, Aunt Jillian has. Or maybe where you work is okay with some weird but not ALL the weird. So, my method is that I buy pieces in black or some prints (y’all don’t even understand the level of fool I am for a big ole gaudy ass floral) and sometimes I goth it up with my choice of hair styles, jewelry, etc.

Also, jewelry is a GREAT way to express some Gothness in as low key a way as you can in order to be able to navigate the life you live without totally sacrificing your style.

I’m a big fan of mixing the practical with the silly. I tend to have to buy shoes for practicality. I buy outerwear for practicality even though, I want fantastical. I like to put color in my wardrobe in my socks or tights. Sometimes I’ll wear a peekaboo of bright red under a cardigan.

Now let’s talk about some Gender related feelings.

In terms of how I experience and express my genders, I’ve just accepted that I’ll be Femme whether I feel more masculine or feminine.

For me Masculine looks like/feels like, skinny jeans, boots, weird wizardy cardigans or ninja cardigans. In my head I like the idea of those poopy butt drop crotch leggings/joggers but I feel like in reality I would hate them. If I’m gonna get chub rub, I better have a dress on because chub rub AND pants is fucking bullshit.

My masculine aesthetics tend to lean more towards fancy dressed masc. Tuxedos, suits.

The main reason I present Femme as I do is basically I really fucking hate pants. I. Hate. Pants.

I also think a lot of menswear is just not pretty or as interesting to me as ladywear.

So.

Yanno.

I’m just gonna be a chunky ass Old Goth Weirdo and it is good.

What else?

Let’s talk aesthetics.

Mine tend to go all over the place.

At the end of Winter I was really feeling my layers. I am FINALLY starting to figure out what fabrics I like together, how much layering I like. That was great.

Right now I’m still in the confused, do I let my bare legs and leg fur fly? It is cold AF in the morning. I have switched back to my fleece coat BUT, it is not water resistant at all and whatnot.

Soon I’m going to talk about thrifting and how getting my groove back to just -know- that a thing will work. When I was fatter I felt like this was my super power and it was so empowering for me. Losing the ability was a huge blow to my self esteem.

SO what am I into right now?

Kimonos *GAG that anyone calls these robes/cardis that*. I like em sheer, floral prints etc. ALL THE DRESSES!!! ALL OF THEM. All shapes, skater dresses, tunics, pixie hems YASSSSSSSSSSSSS LORD!

Skirts. YES all of them also.

I am actually good at layering for warmer Seattle weather. You’ll frequently find me in skirt or dress with a cardigan and a hoody available to put on. I’m still obsessed with galaxy print everything.

For shoes, y’all. It has been decided by my feet that I absolutely CANNOT wear totally flat shoes anymore. I have a pair of Croc ballet flats that were my go to never fail shoes.

Now I need some platform or other height so…yeah.

I’m super into working out some Dark Mori influenced outfits and looking at wearing more jewelry again.

So there you have it.

See below for a (still growing) pinboard of my current wardrobe fantasy items. You’ll find some plus size stuff, shoes, accessories, LOTS of femme clothes. Feel free to make your own and drop a link to it.

Stuff what I’m thinkin about.

My transition to a daytime worker person is still ongoing. Today for the first time in months I’m wearing a dress and regular (non fleece) tights. I feel very cute.

What flavor of cute though?

I’m not spending much money on new stuff so I’m going to be wearing a lot of what I already have. I’ve been going through my clothes over the last few months and decided to hang on to some specific things.

That said, I am absolutely vibrating with want.

I’m very into witchy, Loli, Mori influenced stuff right now as well as what I call Gothables from big box stores. Essentially I want to look like a Bad Witch Fairy Anime Villain 90% of the time. Alternately i want to be a cute evil babydoll person. Weird art. I want to feel like weird cute and creepy art.

I’m super into all things skater dress and skirt. I’ve been buying a new dress once every few months because I realized that I have woefully few dresses that fit me anymore.

I think I’ve mentioned it already, but for real this whole Trumpy shit is just making me weird. And yes, let’s quote the Joker and say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger or whatever y’all know.

I feel like I’ve tried to kind of tame or shake the feeling. I get these ideas in my head and I’m like, yeah wor probably wouldn’t trip but no…can I not?

I just want to cover myself in magical tattoos of sigils and protection words and wear make up that makes people not want to sit by me on the bus and be fabulous and sparkly so at least one thing is nice every day.

High Scary Femme as radical survival.

Let’s be real, I do want to grow up to be terrifying and glam as fuck as an old heavily modded person of femmeness that said- y’all I ain’t got let’s be as freaky AF money.

I DIGRESS.

Anteeeway.

Let me show y’all a few things I’ve purchased in the last five months or so that I love.

The surprisingly great item of the month is this (affiliate links ahead) top from Amazon. Y’all, this is the nicest cheap shirt I’ve gotten from Amazon in a while. For reference I usually wear a 14-16 in tops and have some tig ole biddies. I bought this in black in an XL. The fit is a wee bit weird across the shoulders but once it stretched a bit it was fine. I wouldn’t wear it as a dress but wore it with faux leather leggings and boots and felt cute and floaty AF. Not the greatest but very workable. I would not suggest it for anyone with bigger boobs than mine (very full DD) but if you are smaller busted but wear say 16-18 you should be good. And these are fairly thin so wear a cami underneath.

I picked up one of these dresses off of Wish for a dollar. I got the largest size and the material is weird, but not bad. Feels cute, fits nicely, although, anyone bustier than me no son. There is no stretch there.

To see some of what I’m into fashion wise, keep your eyes on this here pinboard. Some of these are shop style links some not.

 

Goth Fantasist: Luxe Femme Goth

Welcome to a new feature. Using my shopstyle affiliate links we’re going to pretend that neither cost nor size is ever an issue buying stuff and I want to give y’all a taste of what yours truly would be rocking in the ultimate world.

These are affiliate links and my goal with these posts is mostly to showcase some stuff I think is gorgeous, have some fun with fashion and maybe get some ideas for looks.

Ready?

Okay y’all. This edition we’re gonna go fancy femme gothable designer shit. First up let’s look at some dresses. Click the links to check them out (holy shit them prices tho)

ellenvelvet

[image description: photo of a femme person in a full length loose black velvet dress]

This is a super gorgeous dress.  This comes from one of my favorite designers Rick Owens. Aside from the ability to cheat the size because of that loose fit, you could easily toughen this up with some stompy boots, layer it with some sheer pieces, or shawls. And what Femme Goth wardrobe is complete without a long black velvet dress?

rickowensvelvet

[image description: femme person in a sleeveless just below the knee black velvet dress.]

Another Rick Owens beauty. I’m really drawn to the weird crotch area draping in this dress. I love the length and the idea of pairing it with a tall smooth leather black boot or ankle boots and black leather leggings. Tough it up with a great jacket, shabby it up with a big tatty cardigan.

topshopvelvets

[image description: photo of a black velvet long sleeved skater dress]

This Topshop brand skater dress is one of those that could be styled so many ways. Let’s talk Super Femme girly girl. Pair that with the chunky heeled velvet shoes linked below, some awesome tights and girly accessories and voila. Classic cute. Get tough and pair it with some combat boots (the Jimmy Choo pair below say or some docs ,I linked to some gorgeous ones here), torn up fishnets and leather and boom Grunge Goth babydoll. Masc it up with some chucks or a hot DIY’d black denim vest. YASSSSSSS!

vbeckhamseq

[image description: photo of a femme person in a short long sleeved sequined black dress with white collar and cuffs]

Grown up Wednesday Adams?! YAS look at Victoria Beckham coming through. This is so damn cute, I would go with fishnets and tall docs. And I’d get the shiny leather because I’m kind of extra that way. I love it with the ankle boot as well. Dirty it up with a tatty cardigan and get your super glam KinderWhore on. I love this piece.

Next up let’s look at some shoes. Y’all, I must confess that my first run at this I had WAY too many shoes. I love shoes. I love weird shoes. I love chunky shoes. I love boots BUT I narrowed it down so we’re not here forever.

jchooboot

[image description: black combat boot with flower shaped black embellishments]

UM yo. These are Jimmy Choo. I dunno about y’all but when I hear Jimmy Choo I think super high heels and very pointy toes. Beautiful but not wearable for me. These on the other hand are just so delightful. Get the toughness of a combat boot with those tonal flowers with the little bit of sparkle?

Unf.

balenciagaboot

{image description: Tall black boot with a sqaure toe, there is a black ankle harness detail with a silver ring]

This is the Balenciaga knee high riding boot.I mean..y’all. Y’ALL. These are so gorgeous and Balenciaga is just..I mean..I can’t.

guccisusan

[image description: pointy toed loafers (commonly called winklepickers), there are several silver buckles)

 Gucci Winklepickers. I mean, Winklepickers are a classic and these are just so beautiful. I would wear the HELL out of these.

yslvelvets

[image description: Chunky heeled open toe velvet platform shoes]

I mentioned these YSL pumps up above. Could I find something very like this for eleventy who knows hwo much less? Yes. But look at them, so fine.

And let’s stop there, my poor heart can’t take anymore.

Favorites?

How would you style it?

Have any fantasy stuff you want to share? Drop it in the links.

Until next time.