When Times are Tough…Fashion.

Hello from your most irregular Auntie folks.

Yes I KNOW I said more posts but, life does things.

So instead let’s talk fashion. I was talking to a Baby Bat I know and they were fairly astonished by my Gothable View of fashion. There are affiliate links in here. Marked with an * for everything not covered by Amazon or Shopstyle.

What is Gothable?

Gothable in my world are not specifically Goth things that I can and will put in my wardrobe. I think for a lot of folks, especially us Office Goths, we can’t always be decked out in Victorian Luxe a la my fave Auntie Jillian. Some of us would rather not. So let’s talk about things I find HIGHLY gothable. With two brand new pin boards.

I personally have a philosophy that if I can buy an item, I will because I like it. This also means I do frequently as I’ve mentioned shopped at places folks disapprove of for various reasons. My current booty is about chonky teen sized and a lot of jrs cut clothing fits me well so I’ve been buying some great pieces at Hot Topic. *GASP* THE HORROR.

I also bought pieces from times when Gothyish was in because here’s the thing. Most of us can’t afford to buy exclusively GOTH brands nor do all of us have the skill for DIY. I KNOW OMG THE LIFESTYLE RAWR OH GOD DIY OR DIE…ahem.

Sewing is a skill. I personally have made clothes and they looked okay but sucked. Most of the time, even if I’m recycling shit, I just don’t have the skills to make anything cool. And my efforts tend to a.) not look good and b.) wind up costing as much as retail in time, spoons and materials. So DIY if you can but storebought is goddamn fine.

For my first pinboard, I labeled it affordable Gothables. There’s stuff from Walmart, Etsy, Asos, Target etc.

The great thing about anything alt or dark flavored being trendy is that those styles become knocked off and accessible. Can’t afford Killstar* you can probably find things similar if you look that fit in your budget.

Below is my, if neither size nor budget were a consideration Goth Dream Lewks. Designer shit that wouldn’t fit me etc. I use these as aesthetic ideas mainly.

Another method of Gothables for me is accessories. GOSH. Y’all. Between Etsy, Ebay and Amazon and whatnot you can find some spooky accessories for every price point. Evil Empire links ahoy.

 These cuties are under ten bucks a pop and I personally love them. Love skulls? Can’t afford real bones? Items like this are great. Unlike when I was a babybat, it was ding dang hard to find cheap spooky jewelry that was shiny AND as these are nickel free.

Wanna DIY it? Grab some plain chokers like these and voila, slide a lil skull on it and voila. Fashion.

Would you rather buy handmade? Some of my fave shops.

UglyShyla. (Do NOT CLICK if you are scared of dolls) I really love Shyla’s pieces. I probably have four or so. She goes far to make things that are both lower and higher end prices. Nice quality.

Vandyland makes some cute necklaces. I want to say I have 2? Horror icons, movie references. These are not expensive and light to wear.

Osteal. Like bones and witchy looking pretty things made of metal? Check out this shop. I have a piece from Osteal that was gifted to me and is really nice. Very reasonable pricing.

Sumayyah Said So.  This shop is run by a dear friend of mine. I have, gosh five pieces from them? Anyway, they make beautiful jewelry including earrings, wrapped stones and necklaces. US shipping only.

Shakur Arts Studio. Looking for something really unique? Another shop run by a dear friend. They have some really beautiful and creative fiber/yarn art pieces. Yarn and beads they also make some really lovely collage art.

Wolftea. I don’t know how I found Wolftea but I have a couple of their antler pieces and I just love them. If you are going for a forest witch or Dark Mori inspo, this shop has it.

My secret to finding accessories is that I limit my search terms. For instance, search bone jewelry on etsy and find a HUGE choice of items that range from 5-10$ on up through the 100s.

This is also where I encourage you to get your thrift on. Whether online or in the shops. If you have holy grail items, set yourself some alerts in ebay or Poshmark. When I set my search alerts I usually will do the name of a style and my size. Or if it is harder to find, just the name of the style.

Here’s the thing about aesthetics. Some folks just like a Dark or Gothy Aesthetic. That’s fine. Some folks are ALL in with the culture. Also fine. Dark aesthetics being trendy isn’t the end of the world. One brand *cough Killstar* isn’t newly making being Goth expensive. This has been a thing forever, not because of trends but because capitalism. Be mad at the right thing.

And lastly, y’alls. Have some fuckin fun. Aesthetics doesn’t have to be srs business even if it is Goth Aesthetics. Enjoy yourself. Wear a crop top. Get your booty shorts on. Wear winklepickers with broomstick skirts and band tees. Do you Boo.

How not to Break Beauty.

Over at bookface, I ran across a post from the make up company Wet N Wild. Ahem. Note the brown skinned folks in some of the posts/photos.

Love the idea of a lot of what they do. No cruelty, vegan yadda yadda. BUT, most of their face products don’t come in shades appropriate for folks darker than beige. I think one of the foundations comes in a few shades of brown but, come on.

Their new mega cushion foundation literally comes in fiftyshades of beige.

Not long ago plus size retailer Universal Standard did a giveaway of free tees. From their website about us page:

We’re here to break the plus-size fashion industry.
We will accomplish this by making beautiful, quality, modern, elevated essentials for women size 10-28.
We will tear down existing barriers by doing this at democratic prices, and by turning away from fast fashion and all of its waste, inhumanity, and disastrous impact on the environment.
We will use Universal Fit Liberty to shut down the size-bully living in the head of every woman who doesn’t see her true self in the mirror by giving her the leeway to change her body without penalty to her style, or her wallet.
We will create clothes that will erase the style barrier between her and her smaller-size peers.
We will welcome her to our showroom and give her the peace and luxury of a one-on-one session with a stylist.
We will create stunning imagery and thoughtful editorial content because we want her to know she has the right to expect it.
We will say to her, ‘now you can,’ and make it so, in every way a brand can.
And when her interaction with US is over, she will say:
Finally!

The teeshirt I got for free is normally fifty dollars. For a tee shirt. A TEE SHIRT.

What do these things have in common?

This is what happens when capitalism wants to play at activism. Lane Bryant does it, lots of cosmetics companies etc do it. THey want you to feel good about shopping with them on the tickly idea that you’re being part of a movement.

However, if we examine these things closely we find the problem.

It is very rare that the about us, or hashtags actually match up with the brand. Wet N Wild for instance, their hash tags imply accessibility but if we look at what they offer, if you’re not in the fifty shades of Becky range, the choice is deeply limited. They cash in on the cachet of having WOC models/photos but don’t put in the effort to make their product accessible to those people.

Universal Standard is doing something that is almost the same. Just like every other plus size brand, their mission statement implies that you the fat customer are getting some special amazing experience. What is funny is that a lot of fat people are absolutely excluded from jump. If you aren’t of a particular economic class, I doubt you can look at your bank account and say, hell YES get me that fifty dollar tee shirt.

If you are over a size 28 well, too bad so sad.

This is a problem and has been for a long time. Capitalism likes to play dress up in order to make us feel good about having to participate in it. A lot of people want to believe that by buying a shirt from a store that uses progressive sounding hashtags they are really doing something radical.

They aren’t.

This is what the commodification of the lowest level activism looks like. This is what it looks like to use your economic privilege to try and seem more radical.

The fact is, a lot of people, especially those involved with not sparkly or pretty activism are not the demographic here. A lot of the Fat Activists I’ve known for at least 10-15 years, couldn’t afford to vote with their wallets that way. And in terms of clothes accessible to fat folks this is what happens.

Brand X offers body posi sounding line of clothing that is overpriced tee shirts and ugly stretch knits. Folks don’t buy it because it is expensive and ugly. Brand X says, OH WELL WE TRIED U UNGRATEFUL FAT HOES. Brand X goes back to their usual bullshit and get to say, well the market isn’t there.

Make up companies do it with dark skinned folks ALL the time. High end brands want to say that Black women especially don’t buy their products. They make two shades of brown, lots of BW don’t buy it because there are way more shades of us than that, brand says SEE WE TRIED.

These things have gone on for years. They come in and out of fashion and frankly this is why I am very reluctant to vote with my wallet. For me while I do love the idea of voting with my wallet, a lot of the time I’m just not in a position to or frankly I see through too much of the initial shiny RAH RAH LOOK HOW GOOD WE ARE.

I have a lot of friends who are very determined to shop ethically and I think that’s great. It is wonderful. What’s not awesome is the idea that all of us can do that to the same degree. For instance. Probably ten years ago, I remember a big long thing in the fatshion community about not allowing folks who shopped at Walmart to post outfit photos because it encouraged shopping at Walmart.

We all know Walmart fucking sucks.

Some of us know that and shop there out of necessity. Let’s look at a common necessity. Panties.

Now I personally am fond of the Fruit of the Loom Beyond soft briefs. If I were someone who wears a size 30-32 (according to their size chart)

13 56 – 59.5 30W – 32W

We can assume some stretch in the 56-59.5 hip measurement. Now at Walmart you can get a pack of these for $12.44. Now if we shopped with ALL BODIES type thing in mind we might look at Lane Bryant. A similar style of panty is available but only up to size 26. For 10.50$

26/28 14-15 46-48 51-52

Now in this example the person who buys the Walmart draws in a size 13 is not only saving money but they have access to panties their size.

I don’t believe that the person who chooses the Walmart drawers is ethically bankrupt or doesn’t care about how shitty Walmart is. Sometimes, you just really need some damn drawers.

And that is where a lot of arguments about ethical shopping or voting with your wallet fall apart for me. Often there is just a lack of nuance in terms of how these things work in real life for a lot of us.

Marginalization can have a major impact on how we buy, what we buy etc. I think that conversations and actions trying to deal with trying to do our best under capitalism are so important, we need to learn to be more inclusive and listen when our friends say yo this isn’t gonna work for me.

For instance.

If you’re not a fat person and you insist that folks don’t shop a certain brand that goes beyond say a size 24, think about what that says to your size 26 or 40 friends. If you’re someone who is into make up, if you do reviews of say a line of foundations, say hey this does not come in colors made for brown people.

If you work in the has influence area of fashion or make up, bring this shit up. Ask those questions.

Ask if we are breaking beauty, where are our products to support that idea? Why don’t we have products for this person we’re saying is awesome?

I’d like to see our conversations about ethical consumption become less if you don’t do these things you suck type conversations and dig more into accessibility and how reasonable it is to expect folks to all have the same ability to impact these things.

I think when we make these conversations less about doing the most to be right and more about how to live and function and feel like we’re able to make the best decisions we can in our unique circumstances, we’ll be more effective in figuring out how to enact change.

That’s all for now.

PS

We are still not moved. Life is a mess so posting will remain very sporadic.

Wardrobe and stretchiness.

This upcoming move has given me the nudge I needed to really get to work on redoing my wardrobe.

As an aging Goth, while my heart yearns for the fanciest of frills and tight lacing and leather and whatnot, reality is I don’t really have the means for that. Okay hold up.

Let me say something about Goth and other subcultures that irritates the shit out of me. The insistence that you cannot be a real *enter subculture here* unless you DIY or dress just so you are a poseur. Can we be real? Regardless of age, the fact is not all of us have the skill to DIY it all. DIY can be more expensive in terms of sourcing materials, skill and time than just buying a thing.

I REALLY wish we could leave that narrative behind. The whole debate has been around for so long and frankly I find it ableist and boring.

ANTEEWAY.

Aging Goth-righty right.

My aesthetic is moving towards all things layered and comfy. Some Femme Goth Prince Nightmare fuel. I want floaty, witchy, stretchy, chunky boots everything. If money and size were not a thing (I’ll put a pinboard at the bottom) I would be a walking Killstar ad. There would be a lot of weird indie designer stuff, lots of one of a kinds. Handmade.

That said, I’ll do what I do best. Rebuild from cheap basics. (Affiliate links ahoy)

Some basics to build on. I have at least four skater skirts of varying length. I have them from mini to midi and they are a staple in my wardrobe. The secret to buying them online is always, ALWAYS look at the measuring chart AND read the reviews. Even if folks aren’t your size, you can extrapolate. So if a person says they usually wear an XXS and the size M was too tight to go over their hips, you know if you’re a size M you should size way up or get another skirt. I love them tucked in, with cardigans, with boots, with mary janes, thigh high socks, crop tops. LOVE THEM. If you get one that’s too short, layer it up.

Next thing. Y’all I have been singing praises about fold over waist skirts for like ten years. Wheelchair using babes or folks with any type of neuropathy or other thing that might make you sensitive to a tight waistband, GET ON THIS. Because the waist folds rather than cinches, you can wear them and not worry about them cutting in. You can get them in a million colors, varying lengths. I don’t recommend paying more than 20$ MAX because the waist will stretch out over time but honestly, a super versatile staple and I personally have been wearing them forever. Also great for layering. Fat babes, especially if you have a big belly these are fantastic. Wear them on your belly, below your belly, pulled up to your tits. They are just that comfy.

For basic tops, I’m a ride or die plain tee or tank kinda person. Although, I am getting into wanting to try some tops with like peephole backs and straps and shit. I buy packs of ribbed tanks, I like camisoles. Mostly I don’t want my titties bedazzled.

In terms of my wardrobe, I’m moving towards all stretch except a couple of pairs of things. I am finally starting to adapt and learn how to dress for physical problems I have and to not only wear shit I like but accommodate what my body needs. I’ve been working a lot on my ableism towards myself and my body and I think I’m doing okay.

I just don’t physically tolerate a lot of stuff and working with it sometimes makes me annoyed. My goal with my wardrobe as I’m an redoing it is as follows:

  • My clothes should be able to fit me and still look the way I want +/- 15 or so pounds or whatever bloating I happen to be doing.
  • I want soft textiles.
  • I want variety.
  • I want some fuckin prints.

Like, y’all. I have been working really hard on confronting my own ableism towards myself and this is a pretty big step for me. My body needs some stuff and I’m working on providing it.

As I’m looking at redoing my wardrobe my focus is a lot on boots, leggings, interesting cardigans and layrable things. My style is very much settling on going between anime villain, to Femme Goth Office drag to how I really wanted to dress in the 90s.

The other thing factoring in is storage. We’re moving to a very small place so I want stuff I can fold rather than hang and have it not be a problem.

I’ll keep y’all posted.

Below find my pinboard with ideas, from lots of places. I’ll be adding to it.

 

 

Goth Thoughts- Anime villain Edition

Hello my loves.

Let’s talk lewks. Lately a large part of my aesthetic is looking like a King Queerdo Chubby Anime Villain.

Let’s talk about when you find a pair of awesome boots and ways to style it. Our theme today is chunky anime villain.

The boots (I am obsessed with these and yes I know they are likely a Puma Fenty knockoff but I ain’t got Fenty cash. Also all links are in fact amazon affiliate links, Auntie needs coins).

boot

[image description: black round toe thich high boots. They lace up the front with a few straps around the legs]

I dunno about y’all but, I so rarely get to buy really great shoes I tend to think about styling first before purchase. I’ve had my eye on these beauties since someone linked them to me. I just love them. The round toe, the straps. Everything.

So let’s talk styling em.

For winter/fall I’m looking at layers. First layer, leggings.

Let’s look at some of my personal choices.

These Spanx moto faux leather leggings are expensive as fuck but I LOVE the moto detail.

motolegging

[image description: a thin white person in white sneakers, black fake leather leggings with motorcycle themed details]

I mean, the boot goes over the knee and on my big fat ham would highlight that moto detail beautifully. I am a HUGE fan of faux leather leggings. Even with a smooth leather OTK boot for that full leather leg look. If moto isn’t your steez, have a look at these, these and these. The last pair are plus size up to a 24, unlike other leggings faux leather leggings sizing is a bit more difficult to fudge so if you are larger than a 24 on the bottom, you might want to find some that at least go to a 26 for a comfy fit. Pro tip for keeping faux leather leggings nicer for longer. Instead of hand washing or putting in the machine, hand clean any smelly parts and lay flat to dry.

If you aren’t ready for faux leather full leg. Try out some cute leggings detailing. I LOVE the bit of skin on these lattice work leggings. The ripped legging can be great, these you can wear a solid color pair of tights underneath or fishnets and have that pop detail and it is super cute. These faux leather inset leggings are great. I love the shape of the faux leather on them. Very understated sexy.

For a slightly more visually stimulating villainy look, I love the idea of these jacquard look leggings. Or go with a great print for less villainy. I’m a HUGE fan of Viv collection leggings, they are super soft and come in a very good variety of sizes and the prints y’all…the prints are awesome.

Other bottoms options.

I love a plain midi skirt over some tall boots and tights. I’ve had TONS of this style and they are super comfy. Best thing is as far as sizing goes, you can easily put your belly into one and wear it even if it is “too small”. The knit stretches, you could even wear it under your belly. Wheelie babes or babes who don’t like to or can’t wear binding waistbands, buy a shitload of these. I highly recommend this style of skirt and you can find them in lengths from mini to maxi.

I’m also a big fan of a big tall boot and a skater skirt. I love them and at this point you can get them in plain colors like this, mermaid prints like this (I have one in black and it is my fave skirt). For a slightly longer length, I mean y’all. Look at these right here. And always ALWAYS check the descriptions for sizing. Pro tip, if you are shopping from Asian sellers on Amazon, go for an elastic waist over a zipper. Dark floral? Yes please. There is something really great to me about funking up a very ladylike print with some edgy or clunky boots/shoes.

Now lets talk base layer tops. I wear a lot of tanks. I am not a fan of a fancy top and I do like to layer. Ones like these, and these. I’m starting to like ones with a little fancy detail like this strappy cami. I think the ones with the strappy front details are great for folks with boobs who want to show some skin but not be all like, titties all the way out. It is a good mid point.

I’m also a HUGE lover of a nice fitted tee. I prefer V necks and like the plain tanks, you can literally buy these anywhere in most sizes for good prices. Target, walmart, Old Navy (they make some of my favorites).

For the villainy look, the next thing I like are cardigans. Usually asymmetrical hem type. I LOVE this one. I like them long for that whole layered effect.  This type of longer pixie hem cardigan are fairly ubiquitous so you can find them in your size/color preferences pretty much all over the internet. Pro tip for busty people, to help keep your cardigan from just framing your boobs, wear a base layer with some texture to sort of help the cardi cling.

If you run warm or your base layer is long sleeve, there are sleeveless options that are great as well. The other thing is the sleeveless versions move between seasons really well depending on how you layer them.

Feeling extra fancy and dramatic? A poncho or cape can be magnificent. This one is expensive af but so pretty and probably feels super soft. Look at this cape, it has a hood and it is pretty awesome. For a lighter but still extra dramatic look, check out this here thingy. I mean COME ON. SO extra and so great.

I mean, life is hard. Be extra.

You can accessorive with jewelry or scarves. I’ve been experimenting with scarves a bit and you can pull in some dark mori influence there. Soften it up with some chiffon or lace. Butch it up with some tough accessories.

What else is on my fashion brain?

I want one of each of these dresses from Witch World Wide.  Velvet babydoll dresses bring back the FONDEST fashion memories for me.

So there you have it. Options for looking Villainous and awesome on a budget.

Next time we fashion, I think I’m going to talk some about ways to find stuff to fit your body and ways around bullshit sizing and tips on buying online.

Boots N Wishes

Hi y’all.

The last two weeks of my life have been really awful. My partner is really sick and has been debilitated and unable to leave the house. We’ve been to the ER twice and then I got sick too.

This particular cycle of my life has meant a lot of shit is just not going my way and yeah it is hard.

SO let’s fashion. I have not been able to replace anymore of my wardrobe due to cost of being alive increasing and my fundraiser stalling so, I’ll show y’all what I’m into. This is the boot edition.

And yes there will be ALL the affiliate links because, Babby needs side hustle cash. So let’s get started.

Being that I can’t really wear heels anymore and my absolute love of ankle boots let’s look at some.

First up, let’s talk about this here bootie.

91DQpkM39VL._UY695_

[image description: black platform ankle boot with black laces]

This is the Demonia Women’s Scene-50 Ankle Boot. I LOVE this boot so much. Even though we can’t totally afford it, partner agreed that for our anniversary next month I want these. The thing about Demonia is that when you get a good Demonia shoe it will last for years. They aren’t as hellish to break in as Docs but they are also a tad overpriced. I’ll sacrifice for these beauties.

Next up, in my evolution to being a High Femme Alien Anime Villain Queen Prince. I need a boot like this. Demonia Women’s Emily-375 Over the Knee Boot. I can’t find a big photo so just click on the platform OTK gloriousness. I legit love accentuating the chunk of my thighs with over the knee and thigh high anything. THese are glorious. Imagine them with a pleather legging for that whole leather leg look…UNF YASSS.

Once upon a time I had many many pairs of boots and when I moved I had to sell or get rid of 90% of them. I’m hoping that after we move I can resume collecting because I really do love boots.

Speaking of OTK boots. These are so cute the shiny toe detail is just adorable LFL by Lust for Life Women’s L-Craft Winter Boot. 

I spotted these weird little ankle boots the other day and I am just utterly charmed by them. Cunzhai Women’s Unique Handmade Leather Casual Travel Soft Bottom Boot. I can picture styling them with some tights, cute tall socks and a skater skirt or other short dress. And the shape of the sole is also interesting and a detail I love.

One of the reasons I love boots so much, especially big chunky stompy boots is that it is so easy to gender play in them. I love playing on that 90s influenced bad bitch femme type girl. For me, before I learned about and started identifying with being non binary/genderqueer, it was how I played around with gender presentation.

I think for a lot of us who have had a weird gender journey, playing with things like combat boots and frilly dresses together. For folks all along the gender spectrum, these are really great ways to maybe incorporate gender identity in ways that feel pretty safe.

I remember in the late 90s (remember y’all yer fave Auntie is old af) I bought these poop brown vintage mens slacks. They looked very much like this pair of pants. I paired them with an ivory colored tucked in. I wore it with the first brown nude bra I ever owned, it was satin. No camisole. Open damn near to the navel.

I wore the outfit with some super clunky bump toe platform Oxfords, a slick, high faux ponytail, a vicious cat eye and a lot of glitter.

I felt like the most beautiful boy in the world.

That was around the time I started thinking about gender less in terms of was I boy or girl and more in terms of just being Femme. That is the great thing about style and fashion.

There is so much space inside of the concept of style to explore your gender feelings. Once you step outside of the marketed bullshit and body shaming and just do you, shit is freeing as hell.

Now how about a few links to non boots?

Iron Fist is KILLING me right now. This dress is screaming my name. I’d pair it with a big pixie hem cardigan I have and some big stompy boots. This skirt is just gorgeous.

My personal holy grail brand is Killstar. Their knits SLAY me. Like look at this sweater I love it. I am so into the sweater and leggings and boots for winter. I mean, look at this shit right here.

So there’s yer fashions for the day.

I encourage y’all who haven’t thought about gender expression to think about it some. Maybe do some exploring of your own. Remember folks, it’s not what is in your pants but in your brains.

 

Goth Fantasist- Dream Summer Femme Edition

Welcome back my darling loves.

I decided to change up how I do these posts and today, we’re going to talk the Femme Goth Fahion I would buy right now.

A lot of what is on the pinboard that goes with this post are what I call Gothables. Stuff that is accessible to lots of us economically and size wise. They are not the fanciest of Goth attire but, they are things that are easily gothed up or down. I also mixed in some total Alt/Goth  stuff that I can’t buy because shit doesn’t come in sizes over like an 8. There are shoes, a mix of higher end and Kmart retailers.

And let’s talk about retailers.

Real. Talk.

I do not do a lot of “ethical” shopping. I get in where I fit in and that’s a decision I’ve made because I don’t really ascribe to minimalism based on for me, I don’t have access to easy laundry facilities. I cannot be washing the same goddamn pair of pants by hand and waiting for them to maybe dry in my damp ass apartment.

Also, for real. If I could afford to save for you know, 6 months to buy one awesome piece and have it be workable I would try but I can’t. So yes, you will see problematic retailers featured here and yes I know they are terrible so please save any lectures about it.

Now, let’s talk what I mean when I say Gothable.

Let’s say that you are an Old Office Goth like me and you don’t have the wardrobe or mad DIY skills that say, Aunt Jillian has. Or maybe where you work is okay with some weird but not ALL the weird. So, my method is that I buy pieces in black or some prints (y’all don’t even understand the level of fool I am for a big ole gaudy ass floral) and sometimes I goth it up with my choice of hair styles, jewelry, etc.

Also, jewelry is a GREAT way to express some Gothness in as low key a way as you can in order to be able to navigate the life you live without totally sacrificing your style.

I’m a big fan of mixing the practical with the silly. I tend to have to buy shoes for practicality. I buy outerwear for practicality even though, I want fantastical. I like to put color in my wardrobe in my socks or tights. Sometimes I’ll wear a peekaboo of bright red under a cardigan.

Now let’s talk about some Gender related feelings.

In terms of how I experience and express my genders, I’ve just accepted that I’ll be Femme whether I feel more masculine or feminine.

For me Masculine looks like/feels like, skinny jeans, boots, weird wizardy cardigans or ninja cardigans. In my head I like the idea of those poopy butt drop crotch leggings/joggers but I feel like in reality I would hate them. If I’m gonna get chub rub, I better have a dress on because chub rub AND pants is fucking bullshit.

My masculine aesthetics tend to lean more towards fancy dressed masc. Tuxedos, suits.

The main reason I present Femme as I do is basically I really fucking hate pants. I. Hate. Pants.

I also think a lot of menswear is just not pretty or as interesting to me as ladywear.

So.

Yanno.

I’m just gonna be a chunky ass Old Goth Weirdo and it is good.

What else?

Let’s talk aesthetics.

Mine tend to go all over the place.

At the end of Winter I was really feeling my layers. I am FINALLY starting to figure out what fabrics I like together, how much layering I like. That was great.

Right now I’m still in the confused, do I let my bare legs and leg fur fly? It is cold AF in the morning. I have switched back to my fleece coat BUT, it is not water resistant at all and whatnot.

Soon I’m going to talk about thrifting and how getting my groove back to just -know- that a thing will work. When I was fatter I felt like this was my super power and it was so empowering for me. Losing the ability was a huge blow to my self esteem.

SO what am I into right now?

Kimonos *GAG that anyone calls these robes/cardis that*. I like em sheer, floral prints etc. ALL THE DRESSES!!! ALL OF THEM. All shapes, skater dresses, tunics, pixie hems YASSSSSSSSSSSSS LORD!

Skirts. YES all of them also.

I am actually good at layering for warmer Seattle weather. You’ll frequently find me in skirt or dress with a cardigan and a hoody available to put on. I’m still obsessed with galaxy print everything.

For shoes, y’all. It has been decided by my feet that I absolutely CANNOT wear totally flat shoes anymore. I have a pair of Croc ballet flats that were my go to never fail shoes.

Now I need some platform or other height so…yeah.

I’m super into working out some Dark Mori influenced outfits and looking at wearing more jewelry again.

So there you have it.

See below for a (still growing) pinboard of my current wardrobe fantasy items. You’ll find some plus size stuff, shoes, accessories, LOTS of femme clothes. Feel free to make your own and drop a link to it.

Stuff I’m Lowkey obsessed with.

Y’all, I HAVE to share because I cannot make myself stop.

I’m going to throw links at y’all of stuff I’m pretty obsessed with as in, if money weren’t no thang….you know.

First thing. I am obsessed with Chrome bags. I have one, my partner has one. I LOVE them. They are made for bike messengers and if you don’t drive, have to be out in weather and pack a lot of crap y’all. I already have a Citizen. It is a big ass bag. Lots of capacity and I retired from carrying it daily only because it is big and my morning buses tend to be butts to nuts standing room only. And I have manners. I do want to be able to carry my crochet projects and as I was looking at tote bags, they came out with the Welterweight mini Metro*.  Y’AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL….I want it so bad. I do not have 140$ bag money right now, but I want it. Y’all know Auntie hates paying retail, but totally worth it.

What else?

As we get towards the idea of better weather, I want sandals? I dunno. I do want wedges and platforms. I’m feeling like full 90s clunky kinda ugly platform.

I was giggling at myself the other day, on nice days I tend to dress the way I wanted to dress when I was like 19 and it just makes me laugh. Apparently I really just want to clomp around in warm weather with my furry legs out and with my hair in braids giving no fucks.

I’m really bad at hair y’all. I lack the Black Folx braiding magic and really REALLY want to give myself Goddess Locs. I have been watching Jazz Nicole’s videos constantly and I bought a latch hook. I think I’m ready to practice doing myself some.

If you are not good at these things like me, go check out her feed.

How about some shit I’m annoyed at?

I am so done with make up brands URBAN DECAY HI, using Black folks but not making their “tributes” accessible. Look here:

Once upon a time I loved UD. That said, they ain’t shit for this. I mean, POC have the cash to spend and so many of these brands just don’t bother to really try. Yes, like Nyx they’ll come out with the colors, but I can’t go to ULTA and buy them. Sephora? Yep Black Beauty folks on youtube will squee about that new Laura Mercier darker powder, but, we can’t go to the store to buy it.

Now y’all see why I’ll never be a famous beauty blogger.

When it comes to make up, y’all. I LOVE it. But, I also hate it. I hate that for instance I think Kat Von D makes gorgeous make up. I don’t like that just like every other damn brand, you’d be hard pressed to find someone darker than beige even in spots where it’d make sense. SUCH AS, foundation area. Why not have any more models? You ColourPop I remember this shit.

I mean everybody loves some melanin, unless it’s time to use a dark model right?

Pardon my mood swing. I am still really sick and I’m cranky as fuck.

Also, I resent that in trying to, you know get my fucking glam on, I have to navigate this bullshit.

This is also on my mind because I was given an unwanted lecture about voting with my wallet and ethical shopping. For me, if I shopped to match my actual ethics I’d not be able to buy anything down to my draws and I’m just not about that life.

If you can and want to vote with your wallet? Do you Boo.

Okay good lord.

That is not quite where I was tryin to go but here we are.

Okay, back to stuff I keep thinking about.

Goddess Locs be damned, the sun is coming out and I really -really- want to have red hair again. I’m talking I want to strip the fuck out of my hair with a product like this and have it be bright red. Ahem. This is why I wear wigs and protective style. Once upon a time, I would bleach the hot fuck out of my hair anytime and my hair suffered.

I might be fantasizing about my big red fro, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing because my hair is doing quite well and I decided I’m gonna try to grow it to waist length.

I’ll have a hair update after this weekend. I had a major whoopsy and I’m gonna document me fixing it.

I didn’t fuck up super bad, but my scalp is mad and I did it to my damn self.

OH also soon I’m going to have a write up of using a homemade toner, some quickie reviews and maybe some dedicated posts to books and whatnots.

Thanks for visiting y’all!

OH before I forget.

As usual any links marked * you can get money back from ebates. Also on that side hustle tip, I added a whole new section of sparkly, holo, silly handbags and wallets on my Amazon shop because I love them and can’t have them all. Check it here.I’ll write about my bag fetish at another time.

 

 

 

 

IT’S MY BIRFDAY!

Er it was my birthday yesterday.

I’m officially 40 y’all.

If you’d like to read a fbomb laden essay about how I feel about turning 40 click here.

So let’s talk about some shit I don’t like.

It appears my fave milky nude, sheer lipgloss has been discontinued. Maybelline Baby Lips Gloss in Taupe With me. I’m on my last tube. It is a really nice pinky super shiny gloss that was cheap and that I love. It was a cross between the Make up Forever Plexigloss in Sweet Pink and the Mac Nicki Minaj lipglass with a bit of brown and a touch less color. There is something about a milky texture to a lipgloss that I just love.

Other shit I don’t like. I had to shave my armpits (I hate shaving) because I had a rash under lefty and righty was feelin weird. Shaved, treated the skin and things got a bit worse. Come to realize, the pit stick I’ve been using has chamomile in it and guess what I’m allergic to? Yes Petunia I am allergic to chamomile….:( so now I’m vaguely funky because I’m using a natural no baking soda deo that can only do so much while my armpits heal.

Now how about stuff I do like?

Um, so my hair is pink right now. I’m SO into this wig. I feel so cute and Pastel Goth like.

pinkhairs

[image description: Black femme with long pink hair wearing glasses.

This is the FreeTress Equal Delux Lace Front Wig – EVLYN. Y’all. This wig is so great. Quick report, it is thick. The color is gorgeous. Very comfortable. If you want to play with color and like wearing silky straight hair, GET ON THIS y’all.

The next great thing happening. For my birthday I side hustled myself enough money to buy the cutest pair of platform booties on ebay.

boot

[image of a black platform ankle boot]

I got these in my usual size 7. Check them out here. These are fantastic. They are super lightweight, lined in plush leopard print and actually kept my feet warm when it was snowing a little. The upper is super flexible so if you have a bigger ankle they would be easily adjustable. I will say these are actually on par with the boots I got from designer brand YRU a couple of years ago. And I will say the construction is superior. I’ve worn these probably five or six times in snow and rain and they are solid. I wore my YRU platforms three times and the platforms separated from the boot.

What else am I loving? With the warmer weather, I’ve FINALLY gotten to break out some of my dresses. I picked up this little beauty while it was on sale a couple of months ago. I paired it with black tights, a black cardi, and my trusty old docs. Super cute on. No stretch though and my XL strains over my boobs. I’ve got my eye on this beauty right here. I really love this one too.

My current aesthetics as the weather inches towards bare leg season is a little 90s flavored Femme Old Goth. See here:

ootd

[image description: Black Femme wearing from the feet up, black platform ankle boots, black skirt, burgundy sweater with a black tank top underneath]

This year all I want are cute dresses and lots of skater skirts to be honest. Let me show y’all some other things I’m obsessed with.

The Sully Dress. Y’all. I want one so bad. Jersey fabric, I love that cut and style. I could wear it multi season. UNF I NEEDS IT.

I really want to try out some elastic harness things like this. I am intrigued because I have yet to see someone with a body type similar to mine wear one. I love the leather ones better but, leather is expensive and I want to try it out before I commit to an investment piece.

I also find myself in need of more skater skirts.

Right now I have my eye on a few on Amazon. This one for days when I want a nice slightly longer one. Pro tip, for stuff like this from Amazon check the reviews, especially ones with photos.

I’ve also got plans on attaining MORE GALAXY PRINT. Why? Cause I friggin love it. I LOVE this skirt, but that will absolutely not fit me. Well the max stretched measurement would work but only if I already pooped that day, was not bloated at all and had on mega shapewear.

I like to pair my skater skirts with my nerdy tshirts. My favorite of that type of outfit I don’t have a photo of but I paired a Deadpool tee with a floofy circle skirt and my tall docs. I was fucking adorable.

Now that I am officially an Elder Goth, can I tell y’all it would be lit if neither money nor time was an object. Check my pinboard of dream Old Goth fashions.

What else?

I’m considering getting my septum pierced because I want an opal clicker on my face. I’ve also resumed using my pinterest tattoo reference board. I had sort of given up on my body mod dreams because money but I have a little stash of cash I put money in monthly that is specifically for mods so maybe?

Content warning for some creepy stuff, I will be adding to it soon.

That’s all for right now loves.

Regular posting will resume soon I promise.

I love y’all!

Be good!

 

 

 

 

 

The time Betsy Johnson Broke My Heart

A site I like to window shop at sometimes sent me an email about a bunch of Betsy Johnson stuff on sale.

Y’all don’t know this, but Betsy Johnson was the first designer I loved. When I was a lil post teenage potato, the only designer that I ever thought, holy fuck I want to wear that was Betsy.

Back in the 90s, my style was absolutely done what I gotta do with thrift store and hand me downs. Not because it was fashionable, but I was poor and chubby. And then in some magazine I saw Betsy Johnson clothes. It became my big secret dream to have one. Even more than the pretty formal dresses that never fit me, more than the Goth wear I saw in the Retail Slut catalogs I got.

A dress similar to this one was my dream.

My style icons were Grace Jones, Courtney Love, Stevie Nicks, the goth and punk girls I saw randomly. I wanted to wear pleated school girl skirts and boots, I wanted to wear big chunky ass shoes and slip dresses and y’all get it.

I had this vision of Bad Bitch Femme. Glitter and fucked up nails and whatnot.

However, I was not a thin girl. Even at my lowest weights, I’ve always still been a thick girl. Back then, after having a little money for mall clothes, I remember leaving in tears because I couldn’t find things I liked that fit my body. I remember very vividly being in a dressing room in the Limited maybe and trying not to cry and my Mom being impatient because I wouldn’t come out.

So I made it work sort of. I remember convincing myself that well fuck mall clothes anyway and that I just didn’t have the body to wear things I actually liked. And then I started to fake it.

I remember I had this ridiculous outfit, a pair of poop brown mens 70s slacks that I paired with a cream colored long sleeve thermal, boots and a big old fake high long ponytail. I paired it with a super glossy glittery lip and a big ole stripe of liner and it was one of the first times I was like, I am fine as fuck.

My next foray into dressing just how I wanted to was when I went to my first Pride. I want to say it was maybe 1999? I dunno, I’m an old.

So I had thrifted what was probably part of a dance team outfit. It was a fuschia sequinned a line mini skirt with a little keyhole belly cut out and a black ribbon. I saw it buried in a bin at Value Village and fell in immediate love.

I wore it low on my hips with platform sandals and a strappy vintage camisole that was almost see thru. There was glitter on my face (I used to mix my own glittery face powder back in the day, SHUT UP IT WAS THE SHIT) and I had a pixie haircut and y’all, I went alone and it was when I found my bounce.

I did that thing where when I got to the parade, I invoked my runway hoeness and walked it the fuck out. Booty bouncing, titties out, shoulders back, feelin the FUCK out of myself. There was a drag queen handing out sunglasses and she stopped me, put some glitter cat eyes on my face and made me do my runway walk.

I wound up being friends with her but mostly what i remember is this drag queen and some cute gay boys yelling, “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK BITCH” and it was the first time in my young adult potato life, I really felt beautiful.

Now around that time I was saving money, all my change, any extra dollars because I wanted to go into the Betsy Johnson store and buy a dress. I got myself gussied up and went in and almost immediately realized that nothing would fit me aside from maybe some earrings or sunglasses or a purse.

I didn’t want a fucking purse.

I remember leaving (AH I was 21 by then) and going to sit in a bar by myself and feel like the grossest human to ever live.

Betsy Johnson just broke my lil heart. I was devastated. I’d worked so hard to save up about 300$ and I even had a plan to take myself out on a fancy date so I could wear whatever I bought.

Now I took that money and wound up in a Hot Topic, ostensibly to buy myself some band shirts or something and I discovered this long black beautiful Gothy dress. It was full length, had a chiffon cape thingy, the big sheer bell sleeves. Sort of this style, but not velvet. The ubiquitous Goth thing.

I found my thing.

I found the thing that opened up fashion to me in a while new way. I realized that my body was not at fault for some stuff not fitting me. That my inability to wear Betsy or shop at 5-7-9 or whatever.

My big point here is this.

Your body is not wrong.

You have to figure out what you’re working with and work with it. Figure it out. The thing is, there’s something like THE big deal thing, you just have to find it.

That said, sometimes you’re still gonna mourn the perfect thing. It’s okay. It happens to all of us.

This post brought to you by this most perfect dress that would in no universe fit my ass.

picture-of-elegance-party-dress_black-multi

Someone please buy that damn dress and then get your photo taken and show me because I think it is so damn beautiful. Betsy, you hurt my feelings again.

 

Stuff what I’m thinkin about.

My transition to a daytime worker person is still ongoing. Today for the first time in months I’m wearing a dress and regular (non fleece) tights. I feel very cute.

What flavor of cute though?

I’m not spending much money on new stuff so I’m going to be wearing a lot of what I already have. I’ve been going through my clothes over the last few months and decided to hang on to some specific things.

That said, I am absolutely vibrating with want.

I’m very into witchy, Loli, Mori influenced stuff right now as well as what I call Gothables from big box stores. Essentially I want to look like a Bad Witch Fairy Anime Villain 90% of the time. Alternately i want to be a cute evil babydoll person. Weird art. I want to feel like weird cute and creepy art.

I’m super into all things skater dress and skirt. I’ve been buying a new dress once every few months because I realized that I have woefully few dresses that fit me anymore.

I think I’ve mentioned it already, but for real this whole Trumpy shit is just making me weird. And yes, let’s quote the Joker and say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger or whatever y’all know.

I feel like I’ve tried to kind of tame or shake the feeling. I get these ideas in my head and I’m like, yeah wor probably wouldn’t trip but no…can I not?

I just want to cover myself in magical tattoos of sigils and protection words and wear make up that makes people not want to sit by me on the bus and be fabulous and sparkly so at least one thing is nice every day.

High Scary Femme as radical survival.

Let’s be real, I do want to grow up to be terrifying and glam as fuck as an old heavily modded person of femmeness that said- y’all I ain’t got let’s be as freaky AF money.

I DIGRESS.

Anteeeway.

Let me show y’all a few things I’ve purchased in the last five months or so that I love.

The surprisingly great item of the month is this (affiliate links ahead) top from Amazon. Y’all, this is the nicest cheap shirt I’ve gotten from Amazon in a while. For reference I usually wear a 14-16 in tops and have some tig ole biddies. I bought this in black in an XL. The fit is a wee bit weird across the shoulders but once it stretched a bit it was fine. I wouldn’t wear it as a dress but wore it with faux leather leggings and boots and felt cute and floaty AF. Not the greatest but very workable. I would not suggest it for anyone with bigger boobs than mine (very full DD) but if you are smaller busted but wear say 16-18 you should be good. And these are fairly thin so wear a cami underneath.

I picked up one of these dresses off of Wish for a dollar. I got the largest size and the material is weird, but not bad. Feels cute, fits nicely, although, anyone bustier than me no son. There is no stretch there.

To see some of what I’m into fashion wise, keep your eyes on this here pinboard. Some of these are shop style links some not.